Blonde jokes...

Here is one for all the Black Irish Jews, of Italian descent, living in the USA and waiting for a sex change

There were 3 good arguments that Jesus could have been Black:

1. He called everyone "brother"
2. He liked Gospel
3. He couldn't get a fair trial.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:

1. He went into His Fathers business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his mother was sure he was God.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus could have been Italian:

1. He talked with his hands.
2. He had wine with every meal.
3. He used olive oil.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus could have been a Californian:

1. He never cut his hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus could have been Irish:

1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.

But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus could have been a woman:

1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it..
3. And even when he was dead, He had to get up because there was more work to do.
 
helpimcrap said:
this is brilliant and im with the majority on this....

if your going to insult one type of person you need to insult them all. you cant be classed as racist/sexit/ageist/etc if you do it to all of them. :)

5* from me. :) some of the jokes are corkers... :D
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Exactly, its hardly offensive to people if everyone has to take a hit. Some are classics. But still got to say the blonde ones make me laugh the most.
 
LMAO! Those jokes are brilliant!

But I am quite frankly appalled at a lot of the replys to this thread! I am blonde and I am in no way less intelligent because of it!
 
One for TinkerBell

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY.The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains" I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice-versa." Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500!." Figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match. This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer: "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references.He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his coworkers and friends he knows. All to no avail. Afterover an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500. The blonde politely takes the $500 and turns away to get back to sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, so what IS the answer!?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.
 
Visage said:
Those 'Bindi' are actually worn by Hindus. Pakistan is a predominantly Muslim country - hence the split from India.

If you are going to be a racist moron, at least be an informed racist moron.
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Truely owned.

5 Stars :D
 
Visage said:
Those 'Bindi' are actually worn by Hindus. Pakistan is a predominantly Muslim country - hence the split from India.

If you are going to be a racist moron, at least be an informed racist moron.
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You got seeeeerrrrrved ;)


Nice joke PSI Fox lol. Was good :D
 
Why are people so quick to throw around the word "Racist", get a sense of humour people its racist to hate someone because of skin colour, culture etc... these are jokes not preaches of hate.....

so here is one......

Arab, iranian and indian in the ocean stranded, a shark comes and eats the arab and the iranian. the indian starts praying and thanking god, as the shark is leaving he asks "why did you not eat me?" the shark replies "I had one of you last week and my arse is still burning"....

Im here all week!
 
Another one for Tink, Blackstar, Muban, Norks, etc

A blonde goes to the bank and asks for a £200 loan for 2 weeks as she is going on holiday and wants some spending money, and is told that she will have to repay £210 including interest. The teller asks for some surety that she will repay the money so she says "Follow me outside."
"See that Rolls Royce there? I own it. You can hold that until I repay you." Figuring that this is good enough collateral, the clerk has the car moved into the bank's high security car park.

Two weeks later the blonde reappears with the £210 and collects her car. Overcome with curiosity the clerk asks "If you can afford to drive a Roller, why did you need to borrow £200 for going on holiday?"

"I didn't," she replied " but where else could I safely park my car for two weeks for a tenner?"
 
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Lets extend it to chav jokes! :P

What's the difference between a chav and a slinky spring?

Theyre are both pretty pointless, but it's fun to watch them fall down a flight of stairs :p
 
Two blonde girls walk into a department store. They walk up to the perfume counter and pick up a sample bottle. Nancy sprays it on her wrist and smells it, "That's quite nice, don't you think, Kathy?"

Kathy takes a sniff and replies, "That is nice. What's it called?"

"Viens a moi," replies Nancy.

"Viens a moi? What the heck does that mean?"

At this stage the assistant offers some help. "Viens a moi is French, it means come to me"

Nancy takes another sniff, then offers her arm to Kathy again, and remarks, "That doesn't smell like come to me. Does that smell like come to you?"

Please delete if it's too bad :)
 
three chavs in a vauxhall nova drive off a cliff, why's that bad?
a nova seats 5

A man walks by a chavette in her white tracksuit, he congratulates her on the wedding.

Why don't you run a chav over on a bike?
it's most probly yours.
 
Cybermyk said:
Two blonde girls walk into a department store....
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I like it! :D
 
Kell_ee001 said:
I'm not blonde and I love blonde jokes :D

I'm not irish and I love irish jokes :D

I am short (although cute ;) ) and I love short jokes :D

As long as they're funny I don't care - it's good to laugh :p
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Exactly, it's all just a bit of fun.

People who take offence at black/blonde/irish/gay/fat/short/bald/etc jokes because they fall into one of those categories really need to lighten up.
 
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