Blonde jokes...

There was a Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Provence. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Englishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Frenchman had his hand against his face as if he had been slapped there. The Frenchman was thinking: 'The English fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.' Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The French fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Englishman and got slapped for it.' And the Englishman was thinking: 'This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap that French ******* again'.
 
Blackstar said:
I'm not a member of the Emo club i can assure you, i'm just sick to death of blonde jokes.
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Then do us all a favour and dont bother posting in a BLONDE joke thread;).

PMSL @ Visage..man i love your sarcasm dude, really i do..thanks for the brilliant laugh.

Btw the pakistani jokes truly sucked:(, geez im sure you could come with much better ones and yes pakistanis dont wear the red dot on their foreheads noob:p.

Wheres the black jokes btw??, what about the jewish ones as well....ill have to see if i can dig up any jewish ones..might as well throw in a few muslim ones as well :p
 
Theres 3 women standing on one side of a river. They all need to get across this raging water and just when they think its impossible a wizard pops up granting them each a wish to get across with.

The first woman wishes she can fly, and she flys across.

The second woman wishes she is the best swimmer and she swims across.

The third woman wishes she was intelligent. Instantly she turns into a man and walks across the bridge...

Wuhay!
 
gord said:
Theres 3 women standing on one side of a river. They all need to get across this raging water and just when they think its impossible a wizard pops up granting them each a wish to get across with.

The first woman wishes she can fly, and she flys across.

The second woman wishes she is the best swimmer and she swims across.

The third woman wishes she was intelligent. Instantly she turns into a man and walks across the bridge...

Wuhay!
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LOL.

Good one. :cool:
 
Clerkin-churchsign.jpg


too far?
 
A blonde decides to do something wild that she hasn't done before -- rent her first X-rated adult video. She goes to the video store and after looking around for a while, selects a title that sounds very stimulating.

She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR. To her disappointment, there's nothing but static on the screen, so she calls the video store to complain.

The blonde says, "I just rented an adult movie from you, and there's nothing on the tape but static."

The store clerk replies, "Sorry about that. We've had problems with some of those tapes. Which title did you rent?"

The blonde says, "It's called Head Cleaner."
 
President Bush and Rumsfeld are sitting in a bar.
A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Rumsfeld sitting over there?"

The bartender says, "Yep, that's them."

So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor! . What are you guys doing in here?"

Bush says, "We're planning WW 3."

And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"

Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Muslims and one blonde with big ****."

The guy exclaimed, "A blonde with big ****? Why kill a blonde with big ****?"

Bush turns to Rumsfeld and says, "See, I told you no one cares about the 140 million Muslims".
 
jezsoup said:
Friendly warning, racism isnt tollerated here, so edit out your black people jokes, as amussing as some may find them the are racist.


Visage stop trolling it gets boring.
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So it is ok to laugh at the colour of someones hair, but not at someones skin.

What about jokes about white people? Is that tollerated here?

(although... maybe you were being sarcastic?? I'm not sure. Don't see why you tell people to edit out jokes bout black people but not about blondes........)
 
why are irish jokes so simple?

So the english will understand them!

/grabs his flame retardant jacket and runs :D

jokes are great

I'm a scot and jokes about us are funny as well.

You have to take it if you're going to give it... (so they say) :o
 
God, this thread is boring...I aint seen no good black jokes yet! Who's gonna take the plunge and give me a good one?
 
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