Busted relationship/cheating partner

twoblacklines said:
Shes taken u to solicitors to try and do you for recording her ?

Sounds to me like she wants to sue you for any reason.

Youve lost in every way, mother, 3 kids, she will get the house, car, then atleast half of all you have, you will have nothing left, she will be seeing other guys and you wont get to see your kids.

Just stick with her and cheat on her like she does on you.
Click to expand...
^ :eek:

It posts like this that put me off ever getting married... :(
 
If I was less than who I am I would have ripped her bottom jaw off and used it as a boomerang for what she has said and done, but im just not that low I can't sink to her level. We are not married, we were saving that for the kids when the youngest got old enough to remember the wedding, I should play dumb plan the wedding and dump her at the altar, but I could not do that to the kids.
 
HITMAN_LEON said:
If I was less than who I am I would have ripped her bottom jaw off and used it as a boomerang for what she has said and done, but im just not that low I can't sink to her level. We are not married, we were saving that for the kids when the youngest got old enough to remember the wedding, I should play dumb plan the wedding and dump her at the altar, but I could not do that to the kids.
Click to expand...

reminds me of ian beale ;) :D
 
wordy said:
Good post.

Absolutley spot on.
Click to expand...

not spot on, plenty of people, i mean a ridiculous amount of people, especially with kids find themselves with no way out of a relationship. saying to a partner you want to break up normally leads to lots of talking which can easily lead to being persauded to stay. Not all, but lots of people conciously, or subconsiously do it to sabotage a relationship so they can get out of it, as it often causes both people involved to want to get out, rather than just the one with one person trying hard to persaude the other to stay. You get into area's of pressuring someone to stay for the sake of the kids etc, etc and life gets nasty or can do.

There are lots of people who stay in bad relationships because a bad or even just not great relationship is still just that, a relationship, being single is hard and lonely and a terrifying idea for someone whose had someone there for a year or a decade, or 50 years. People stay in abusive relationships because at least its a known quantity, the next person you get with could be worse, who knows.

I'm not defending your wife, i'm just saying in general the black and white world that everyone wants to live in will NEVER< EVER be black and white with simple easy answers and easy choices to make. the right thing to do is often, VERY often the hardest choice, speaking to someone to let them know you just don't want to be with them, possibly leaving your kids because you are deeply unhappy, can you imagine that conversation? or just have an affair until you're caught and the other person wants out? TBH thats no worse, infact it can heap the guilt on the other person for wanting out, but my point is, its what a lot of people do.

As for people being selfish "these days" what tripe. Anyone in any relationship is there for themselves. you don't marry someone because it makes the other person happy, you do it because the relationship makes YOU happy. life is for living, half of everything you ever do will miff someone off, in the end , we die having enjoyed ourselves or not and you can only really be selfish in making the choices about what makes you happy. its natural and everyone does it to a certain degree.

frankly, to the OP you have to think of that. are you happy right now? can you ever see yourself happy? you could spend months, or years fighting trying to salvage a relationship, it might be worth it. but be honest with yourself, all the fighting , even if you think the kids don't know about it, they do, it will affect them. If in the end you think you can't be happy with her anymore, and thats something you'll have to think over a while, then really, you can spend months years becoming hostile with her making being with your kids and bringing them up as a family incredibly difficult. or get it over with soon, amicably and move on as quickly as possible, which will leave you happier in the long run, her, and most certainly happier and healthier kids.

Good luck anyway with whatever.

EDIT:- dunno how relevant some of that is, classic case of quoting a reply and could only see one more page on the subect + the last page link, didn't see it was 6 pages long :p
 
Chopper said:
a few questions if i may? do both of you work or is your partner a housewife? you mentioned you have an illness and are partially paralysed, would this stop you from looking after yourself and/or the children?

if you are in a position to look after the children full time, then i would pack all her stuff and have it ready for her coming home, kids already in bed, or round at YOUR parents. ask her to tell you everything, and explain why, then ask her to phone everyone she lied to regarding what she done, if at any point she refuses tell her to take her pre-packed belongings and leave the house, and visitation rights will be agreed through your lawyer.

if you cant look after the kids full time, then you have a choice either she comes clean to you and all family concerned and you forgive her and live together, or you will have to move out and pass on the proof of her infidelity to all concerned.

some main things i would make sure happened:

1. she comes clean 100% to you.
2. she comes clean 100% to ALL friends and family, if not the proof is distributed.
3. the kids are always elsewhere and never find out the reason why you split up until they ask when they are older/mature
4. people dont change, once a cheat always a cheat, if she cannot own up and you cannot forgive her, then its a disaster waiting to happen.
5. truly sorry mate, but my girlfriend done the same to me, she was 9 years older and had 2 children to a previous marriage, my life has never been better since kicking her to the kerb, she now lives in a council house in a war zone of an council housing scheme, living in perpetual debt. just think of karma, cos she got hers.
6. i knocked 7 bells out of the other guy, i would avoid that move, as the potential criminal record is not worth it.
Click to expand...

Bit late to the post but what this guy says is spot on.
 
Sorry to hear hitman, hope things work out for the best.

Just got to ask: What happened on the 13th??? Update please???
 
There is just no excuse for cheating and I wouldn't be able to forgive it - even a drunken kiss I'm afraid. I think you should go all the way and claim everything you deserve - puts me off marriage too actually.
 
Richdog said:
Her having the cheek to go to the solicitors to get you in trouble about the video afterwards speaks volumes... she sounds like a real piece of work.
Click to expand...

Actually this doesn't surprise me at all given the direction in which our society is going. Having been cheated on in the past by a girl I really loved I can understand why he wants to forgive her, his view of her is idealistic rather than realistic. He needs to wake up and smell the coffee, when someone cheats in a relationship then in my opinion the relationship was already dead, just that the person who ended it decided to end it privately rather than admit it to their partner.

Dare I say if the genders were reversed in this case there would be outrage, why is it that guys are more accepting of cheating partners?

It seems to me she might have already wanted to leave you but was waiting for the right time so she could get a big divorce settlement (waiting to get married), hence why she got the solicitors on you about the video, kind of screws up her plans.
 
Last edited:
AAARRGHH nooo, 1.57 am, I just read all the thread and no update.
One would assume she either killed him or he left and has no internet access sorted yet..

WAY TO GO.
Looking forward to the update when you get back on track.
For now though I better get to sleep. :D
 
Working through things, will put more detail when I have time but the way it is we are trying to make a go of things anyone that thinks im not all there for trying well thats your opinion but nothing ventured nothing gained. I want things to be good again if they can be. It will take time and my eyes are wide open no head in the sand if it happens it will, if it dies then so be it but like I said Im trying.
 
All mouth and no trousers as my old man used to say....

Now where did I put that failboat pic.... :p
 
Last edited:
HITMAN_LEON said:
She dose know I recorded her, which is my right in my house because she tried to get me introuble for it and got laughed out of the solicitors before she said sorry to me and admitted to what she had done.
Click to expand...

Sorry to say it, but she sounds like a conniving so-and-so. :mad:

I can appreciate it's different depending on a persons situation. Kids, joint mortgage etc. But as an outsider I'd say it's over.

I personally can't regain the trust with someone once they've corrupted it.
 
The main thing I wanted was the truth and now I have the truth I can try and work through things, she was holding back before and not telling the whole story but forgot about the crucial thing, I had her on tape. When she stopped trying to tell me bare faced lies inspite of the fact that I knew different then she made the situation where we can attempt to make things right. like I said in on of the earliar posts I can't forgive what has not been said sorry for. Now maybe I won't forgive but at least there can be an attempt to forgive and that's what I was looking for a chance to make things right. And the other thing is at least if things don't work out we have understanding now and can break without skeletons in closets and bitterness of not knowing facts.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom