Calling for 'a chat'

Guest2 said:
I am - Talk to people at work all the time, talk to random people at the gym / where I train etc. Talk to my parents a lot when I go home and friends I haven't see... I just don't see how people have conversations for hours every day with each other. They must talk about what they read in Hello magazine or something
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Conversations just sort of start from no where, meander through nothing very much and end up instantly forgotten - they're not a waste of time though.

What do you do when you go the pub with mates?

If this is just not something you can do, tell her, she may understand why you sound narked every time she calls then.
 
Cosimo said:
I always used to ring my parents for a chat. You don't have to "chat" for long and it makes them happy. Don't wait for them to call, do it frequently because you'll regret not having done it when they're gone. :)
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This really. I do call my parents fairly often for a chat (and they call me too) ... normally to catch up on what is going on in our lives and planning future things (e.g. I'm going on holiday with my Dad in October so we've been working out in more detail what we are going to do).
 
sports_brah said:
God forbid that someones parents might want to have a chat with their son/daughter?!

I see nothing wrong with it, and I am more than happy to chat to my mother and father at length. Aside from a general respect kind of thing, I think it's a wonderful thing to have a connection with parents, and I cherish mine greatly.

Make the most of your parents, and if it means chatting away on the phone, then do it.
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Totally agree...when they are gone you'll wish you had talked more often. Regret is a horrible thing...don't let it happen to you OP.
 
RedvGreen said:
Call me suspicious, but there is ALWAYS a motive. People just do NOT ever *just* call.

Extended Family-wise and Friends, they have either been nosy about something, such as a latest purchase, or to just simply boast about a recent investment or purchase of theirs and how it apparently beats something that we have.

Girls tend to have a motive such as dropping hints, or doing some dirt-digging.

Blokes tend to want something, usually borrow something of yours, or requiring your expertise for some task in the future.

Immediate family are looking to kill time, have a gossip, drop a present off (or remind you of a forthcoming event where YOU will need to bring yourself and a present!). Or just have a rant.
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No, there isn't always a motive. I call my mum weekly for a chat for an hour or so, and to let her know I haven't died in the past week, but also because I know she's on her own looking after my gran with very few other friends around to talk to. When I was younger, there were several people I used to just call and have a chat to, or vice versa, with no motive other than speaking to someone you enjoy talking to. Some of us also send letters and postcards to each other, with - shock! - no alterior motive other than knowing it's nice to see someone else is thinking about you.
 
I have a good relationship with my mum, see her once or twice a month and we'll talk about things.

Phone calls though, if we phone or text each other it 'factual' stuff such as "can i borrow X", "any chance you can baby sit", "can you pop round and lend me a hand".

We don't see phones are conversational tools, but tools for organising and sorting etc.
 
I can understand people who call for a chat if you don't see them very often, but my wife does this and I see her all the time.

Example her journey home from work is 15-20 minutes, so when she finishes work she is no more than 30 minutes from seeing me face to face. Yet she regularly calls me to have a general chit chat whilst driving home.

No amount of me saying I'll be seeing you soon let's chat when you get home stops her. I'd rather she concentrated on driving and chatted to me for hours when she got home.
 
My wife speaks to her mum everyday, and usually at least 3x a day (typically before and after every time she leaves the house).

What they talk about is usually just a complete run down on everything they (or my son) has done...
-this is what I had for lunch
-i'm going down the shops this afternoon
-my son did xyz at nursery today
-have you spoken to my brother
-I'm going to have a nap now
-blablabla

It's kinda weird, it's like they have to tell each other any possible reason why they might not be able to answer the phone (going out, going to bed etc) and then when that is over a phonecall to say "I'm back", "I'm up" etc.
 
Since moving to Sweden i have become a bit more open with my mum and we try and chat on skype at least once a week but my god do i find it hard/frustrating.

I think most men in general like facts, 1+1 =2, black is black, white is white, Yes or no answers.

Women seem to like discussing what they want to do and every other option ad infinitum. Even something straight forward like " i want a cup of tea" becomes a mammoth 5 minute one sided chat about tea, coffee, orange juice, the time she bought a cup of tea and thought it was too expensive and a place that sold tea 15 years ago..

To me wanting a cup of tea means. Making a cup of tea. Problem > solution.

Its exactly like HangTime says!!! Women put far more time into discussing what ifs and maybes, even if the issue is right now with a very very straight forward answer.

Oh go d the other classic is Ill ask the GF or mum "i am goign to order a take away, what do you want? pick anyone of the menus" Queue a 15 min discussion on what they dont want.... which maybe will result in some kind of compromise rather that just saying... I want X
 
The difference with phone calls is that you don't get a say in whether or not you talk.
*picks up phone while in the middle of something* "hello?"
"Hi its XXXX, I am talking to you now."

And suddenly you are expected to drop everything and talk.
 
Guest2 said:
Do anyone's parents do this? Its mainly my mum as my dad only calls when something is needed or he needs to tell me something.

I think its just women in general but I find it so annoying. Don't get me wrong, I love my mum but when she calls and I ask her if something is up and she says "no, just calling for a chat" then gets mad it really annoys me.

If you are not the same as me, what do you chat about??
To the women - What do you chat about to other women
I generally like my phone calls to be factual, like "where are you, i'll be there in 10 mins" done

This must go for single men, men with girlfriends and married men.

I started this thread as mum just called, got irate when I asked her what she wanted to chat about, then said she would call back when im not in a mood - Which im not
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Don't take those moments for granted Guest2 because you never know when they may be the last conversations you'll ever have with your mum. I lost my mum a few years a go and would give almost anything to hear her voice again.
 
You only get one set of parents. They aren't around forever you will miss her 'just called for a chat' calls when she is no longer with you.
I used to speak to my mum maybe twice a week then when my dad died last year we started calling each other nearly every day just for a chat. Some days it's a quick couple of minute check in, others it's nearly an hour call.
 
My mum and step dad call me quite often to see how I'm getting on with everything, how work is going, how my girlfriend is, things like that. I really appreciate the calls, and I call them back every now and then too. The calls don't last for a long time, but it's nice to keep in touch.
On the other end of the spectrum, I've not heard from my dad in coming up 3 months now. We've not fallen out, but I just don't get on with him enough to care for a phone call. Suppose that's what happens after when I was 11, and my parents were going though a divorce, he said to me that it was my responsibility to keep in touch with him. He basically kept his word too as he very rarely phoned me from that age on.
 
I always got annoyed with the "just a chat" calls. They would always come at the most inopportune moments, like when I was in the middle of doing something, watching something interesting or just in a mood where i didn't feel like talking to someone. Alas, as it was my mum, I would always pick up. It's your mum, a moment of your time is the least your could give her. After all the pooey nappies, whinging and whining, I owe her my time and she just wants to her her sons voice.

I'm glad I always gave her my time as she died very suddenly from cancer a few years ago. I miss the "just a chats" now :(
 
My mum phones every few days or pops in it drives me crazy we just do not share any common interests I like conversation to have a point hearing about some random person from work or some celeb doing what ever is just a waste of my time. I love my mum to bits she is very hard worker and I have huge respect for her and no job is to big she can ask me to do but she knows do not even bother to try talk to me about people I do not care about
 
My mum does this with me, i don't see her for a week, sometimes a couple or weeks at a time, so she will phone, or i will phone her to catch-up with her, admittedly she likes chatting more than me, so if i don't hear from her i will phone her, which always goes down well :)

I never see it as annoying or a chore, its nice to hear her news, what she has been up to, any news about my siblings who i chat to less, but more importantly she likes to hear what i have been up to, how things are in work and anything exciting i have been up to or been on any road-trips etc, general stuff really, but it shows that she cares as she is interested in my life and visa-verse when i call her.

I always thought that this was just general family stuff, didn't realize that some people despise catching up and chatting with their folks.
 
Love talking to my mum on the phone to be honest, she had an operation last night after breaking her arm (after I had phoned to meet her actually!) and it was so great to hear her on the phone this morning sounding a lot better.

She's got 4 sons and I think we all enjoy a chat on the phone with her occasionally.
 
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