Can't believe I'm doing this...

.Sean

.Sean

.Sean

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Joined
30 Sep 2007
Posts
1,693
I've now got my very own OcUK relationship thread. I've got no where else to go. :(

Girlfriend of 2 years found questionable images on one of my old hard drives after she went through my PC while I was out. Came home to an "I'm sorry" text message. I asked what was up, she told me she found a folder full of naked Asian girls. :eek:

Queue a very long night of apologizing and comforting as best as I could, but it really didn't work at all. I explained to her that I forgot I even had that sort of stuff on my PC and that it meant nothing. This didn't help, she's just simply too self conscious. Her theory is that I shouldn't have to ever use pornography or look at/think about other women. She thinks that she's not perfect to me, not beautiful, etc. which is all of course not true. I think she's amazing and one of the best things that's ever happened to me. She is beautiful, I love her. Again, none of this got through to her.

Next question was if I have ever watched porn while we've been dating. I couldn't lie to her and I told her I have, but it doesn't make me some sort of scumbag or mean that I love her/think of her any less. I couldn't even explain why men do it, just that we do.

She told me she felt sick/disgusted and wanted me to leave her alone. :(

What the hell do I do now? :confused: I wish I just lied to her but I couldn't bring myself to do it..
 
Ouch. Keep grovelling? Sounds like a bit of an over-reaction to be honest. I'm sure most women wouldn't have reacted quite as badly upon seeing porn on their bf's comps.
 
Tell her to get a grip and stop being such a feminist pansy. Then if she doesn't except that then I guess its time to download some new material for the old folder until you get a decent woman who knows men look at porn.
 
Some women cannot get their heads around porn, and no matter what you say or do will never be able to be with you if they know you have watched it.
Keep trying with her, but accept you may be on a road to nowhere unfortunately.
 
Unless she willingly has sex with you at the drop of a hat, whenever, and wherever you are, then she has absolutely no right to tell you that you can't have porn, or jack it solo.
 
Luke said:
Some women cannot get their heads around porn, and no matter what you say or do will never be able to be with you if they know you have watched it.
Keep trying with her, but accept you may be on a road to nowhere unfortunately.
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This very very true. Don't really know what else to say.
 
The worst thing you can do here is grovel and look, well, weak. (why should you have apologised in the first place, I bet you don't even think you should have tbh)
I'm not kidding, if you beg she will start to make loads and loads more exception here and there, to things you shouldn't do.

Stand your corner. Ask yourself what the hell was she doing snooping?
 
Luke said:
Some women cannot get their heads around porn, and no matter what you say or do will never be able to be with you if they know you have watched it.
Keep trying with her, but accept you may be on a road to nowhere unfortunately.
Click to expand...

This.

Why on earth was she rummaging around your PC when you were out? Does she have issues with trust? She clearly has issues with porn. If you can't sort out both of these issues then you should move on because there are many, many woman who have no issues with either.
 
why did u let her out the kitchen in the first place jk would she rather your at it with other girls tell her its a suppression technique youve learned to help deal with your inner most urges lol
 
Yeah, what was she doing invading your privacy like that? That's the first problem you've got.

Also it sounds like she's young, I'm going to bet under 22. She's completely dillusional about sex, and men. Hate to break it to you but in 2-3 years time she'll probably be enjoying porn.
 
Don't give up. Speak face to face if you can. Porn for fap-time is natural/healthy and 99% of men fap. Reassure her, do what you can without losing your pride. If she really is inconsolable to the degree of ridiculousness, tell her, and if it were me I'd ask if she was looking for a way out of the relationship because her reaction was way more extreme than imagined.

Invasion of privacy is not cool. Do you give her other reason to go through your stuff. Tell her that is not acceptable whilst tapping her on the nose with a newspaper.
 
**** me sounds like mine!

I've been honest and it almost feels worse than when I used to just lie my way through life.

Good luck trying to get an element of reason out of her as I doubt I could.

I've came to an agreement that she doesn't need to hear what I get up to on these sites etc.
 
.Sean said:
What the hell do I do now? :confused: I wish I just lied to her but I couldn't bring myself to do it..
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Not sure there's much you can do now fella. Either she gets over it and realises she's probably overreacting or it will stick in her mind forever... I don't think there's anything you can say that she will acknowledge...

Unlucky sunshine :(

Alternatively, she might be so disgusted that she is willing to accept almost any explanation other than the truth, in which case you can weave an elaborate story...

Edit: You could also tell her that at least you only use porn to satsify certain needs rather than mess around. Therefore this proves how much you love her = argument won.
 
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[FnG]magnolia;21467626 said:
I don't know, it's a hard business to get into but maybe she'll get lucky.
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I want to give you a big kiss sometimes.

:edit: To the OP. It could be worse, you could have come home to find the chat logs with your ex that you cheated on your girlfriend with are open on your PC. Try arguing your way out of that one.
 
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