I've added some translations:
"Excellent condition for year" - Cosmetically tidy but a bucket of bolts underneath and makes some horrible noises because "They're all like that mate".
"Quick sale" - I need shot of this car quickly because it's about to throw a huge bill.
"Stacks of receipts and bills" - I finally had enough of throwing money at this heap of junk.
"Family owned last 15 years" - Been passed around and maintained for 2p.
"Starts first time" - When warm or when cold. Not both.
"Fully loaded" - Base spec with no options.
"Top of the range" - Entry model or some weird special run-out edition.
"Never thrashed or raced" - By me. My son however...........
"A few choice modifications" - Stupid exhaust and CAI installed with no real care.
"Maintained by specialist" - My mate Steve.
"Enthusiast owned" - This car is worth much less than I think it is.
"Future classic" - Dull, basic car. In no way notable at all.
"Not many left in this condition" - All the others have been scrapped long ago.
"Very fast" - Not very fast at all by any measurement.
"Nippy" - Just a crap, little car.
"Much loved" - I say I love it but that love doesn't extend to regular servicing.