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- Thread starter VeNT
- Start date
Suspended
- Joined
- 12 Aug 2006
- Posts
- 1,373
- Location
- CandyMountain
VeNT said:
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: RobertD
RobertD: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: hello
RobertD: Hello
You: just the answer to the above please
You: hmmm
You: 489 hey
RobertD: Are these results sufficient?
You: I thought a woodchuck could chuck no amount of wood since a woodchuck can't chuck wood
You: thats what i always thought
RobertD: Me too..
RobertD: Is there anything else on this topic I can find for you today?
You: hmm
RobertD: Have a good evening and thank you for using chacha.
RobertD: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pfft
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: RobertD
RobertD: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: hello
RobertD: Hello
You: just the answer to the above please
You: hmmm
You: 489 hey
RobertD: Are these results sufficient?
You: I thought a woodchuck could chuck no amount of wood since a woodchuck can't chuck wood
You: thats what i always thought
RobertD: Me too..
RobertD: Is there anything else on this topic I can find for you today?
You: hmm
RobertD: Have a good evening and thank you for using chacha.
RobertD: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pfft
Suspended
- Joined
- 12 Aug 2006
- Posts
- 1,373
- Location
- CandyMountain
VeNT said:
I have never been more 'eugh', than I am right now.. continue, and I may have to refer you to this thread.
Borrowed someone elses theme, but twisted it a bit 
atus: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: KathrynM
KathrynM: Welcome to ChaCha!
KathrynM: Hello I hope you are having a great day.
You: hi!
KathrynM: What can I help you find regarding this subject?
You: well evening
You: well basically i need a name for a boy
KathrynM: I would be happy to help with that. One moment please.
You: my son turned 8 last week and to be honest he really needs a name cause otherwise they are going to start making fun of him at school, i guess thats what im most worried about
KathrynM: I understand.
KathrynM: Dont want that.
You: possibly after a movie character or something he can relate to
You: whats your favourite movie? maybe that will help us get somewhere
KathrynM: Finding Nemo. How about Nemo?
You: well our last name is fisher
You: so that wouldnt go so well
KathrynM: No Nemo Fisher does not work at all.
KathrynM: HOw about Tarzan?
You: hmm, he is quite hairy now, i guess we could use that!
KathrynM: Great. What about a middle name?
You: good point
You: tarzan ____ fisher
KathrynM: Let me think.
You: how about dick, after my father's name
KathrynM: I might be kind of different but what about Turns
KathrynM: That is even better.
You: tarzan dick fisher
You: perfect
You: im going to tell the wife
KathrynM: Do you need anyone info on this.
You:
KathrynM: Thank you for choosing Cha Cha. I enjoyed searching for you. Have great day!
You: thanks!
KathrynM: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended
Oh my, i cant believe she even carried on helping me!
atus: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: KathrynM
KathrynM: Welcome to ChaCha!
KathrynM: Hello I hope you are having a great day.
You: hi!
KathrynM: What can I help you find regarding this subject?
You: well evening
You: well basically i need a name for a boy
KathrynM: I would be happy to help with that. One moment please.
You: my son turned 8 last week and to be honest he really needs a name cause otherwise they are going to start making fun of him at school, i guess thats what im most worried about
KathrynM: I understand.
KathrynM: Dont want that.
You: possibly after a movie character or something he can relate to
You: whats your favourite movie? maybe that will help us get somewhere
KathrynM: Finding Nemo. How about Nemo?
You: well our last name is fisher
You: so that wouldnt go so well
KathrynM: No Nemo Fisher does not work at all.
KathrynM: HOw about Tarzan?
You: hmm, he is quite hairy now, i guess we could use that!
KathrynM: Great. What about a middle name?
You: good point
You: tarzan ____ fisher
KathrynM: Let me think.
You: how about dick, after my father's name
KathrynM: I might be kind of different but what about Turns
KathrynM: That is even better.
You: tarzan dick fisher
You: perfect
You: im going to tell the wife
KathrynM: Do you need anyone info on this.
You:
KathrynM: Thank you for choosing Cha Cha. I enjoyed searching for you. Have great day!
You: thanks!
KathrynM: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended
Oh my, i cant believe she even carried on helping me!
I had an intollerence test and it showed that i was itollerent to Cow, goat and another animals milk. So im not sure what applies to lactose intollerent people. I however wouldnt drink human milk. My dad previously has informed me it tastes nice lmao >.<VeNT said:
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: DavidM
DavidM: Welcome to ChaCha!
DavidM: Good day! How may I help you?
You: are all females crazy?
DavidM: I don't think so, but would you like to find resources on relationships?
You: why did the other guide say yes then
DavidM: Can't speak for him/her.
You: well why dont you think so
DavidM: What I think isn't really important here.
DavidM: All relationships take effort. I know that.
You: im talking about my mother
DavidM: OK. That's a relationship, too.
You: she makes me sleep outside
DavidM: Not really.
You: yes really
DavidM: How old are you?
You: 14
DavidM: If you don't mind me asking?
You: you?
DavidM: Older than 14.
You: 15?
DavidM: OK. I'm going to take the risk that you're being serious. If you are, what do you mean by outside?
You: in the garden
You: by the tree
You: i get a blanket though
You: shes not that curel
You: cruel
DavidM: OK. If you're serious, you need to talk to a teacher/pastor/counselor in private about this. If you're joking, it really isn't funny.
You: ...
You: will they send her to a mental hospital
You: because i dont want that
DavidM: I can't say. What I can say is that this is neither normal nor natural. If this is really happening, then your mother needs real help.
DavidM: Does your father live at home?
You: no
You: it started when he died
DavidM: So, your mom is a single parent. I'm sorry to hear that your father died.
You: yes
DavidM: Why does your mother make you sleep outside?
You: i think she blames me for his death
DavidM: Do you know your guidance counselors at school?
You: no i dont go to school very often
DavidM: You should. They can help you.
DavidM: Do you attend a church anywhere?
You: im not religious
DavidM: I would encourage you to do one of four things.
DavidM: First, if there's an adult relative that you trust, talk to him/her.
You: i dont really know any
DavidM: Second, go to school, ask to meet with a counselor at school
You: and i dont have many friends
DavidM: Third, find a pastor at a nearby church, whether you know them or not, and try to speak to him/her.
You: dont churches abuse vounrable children
DavidM: Fourth, your local Department of Social Services can help, but they will approach the situation much stronger and in a more legal fashion than anyone else.
You: i saw it on the news
DavidM: No. Churches do not abuse children. I am a pastor. (Seriously.) I don't abuse children.
You: some do though?
DavidM: No group of any profession is perfect. But that doesn't mean that they're all evil either.
DavidM: Do you have a Salvation Army in your area?
You: how do i know which are evil
You: im not sure
DavidM: Do you know where The Salvation Army is. Look it up in a phone book if you don't know.
You: dont they give people clothes?
DavidM: Go there. Ask to speak to the Captain or Major in charge. Talk to him/her. I am sure they will take the time to talk to you.
DavidM: They do have Thrift Stores, but they're also a church.
You: are they a real army?
You: becasue i dont want them to kill her
DavidM: If you don't mind me asking, what city/state are you in?
DavidM: The Salvation Army is not an army with guns. We are a church.
You: north carolina
DavidM: I grew up in Burlington. Where are you? You don't have to be too specific, but I know lots of Salvation Army folks in NC.
You: glenville
DavidM: I've not heard of Glenville. What larger town is it near?
You: asheville?
DavidM: I know lots of people in Asheville. The officer there is Major Terry Israel.
You: can i trust him
DavidM: Yes. Absolutely.
You: shall i tell him you sent me
DavidM: Would you like his contact information?
DavidM: You can, but that's up to you.
You: ok
DavidM: Tell him that you came across a person named Captain David May online in a chat area and he recommended that you contact him.
You: i am scared though he might be another abuser
DavidM: His wife's name is Major Donna Israel.
DavidM: I am sure either would be HAPPY to talk to you.
DavidM: I used to teach at The Salvation Army there, so I know lots of people there.
You: do you think my dog can come too
DavidM: I'm sure that can be arranged.
You: he is nice dog
DavidM: Would you like the contact information.
You: yes
DavidM: Hang on. I'll ChaCha it for you.
You: what shall i say when i get there
DavidM: Just ask to speak to Major Israel. Describe your situation, and ask him to help refer you to someone who can help you.
DavidM: I must tell you, he may simply refer you to someone, but I promise you that he will do his best to do what's best for you. I've know him a long time. He's a good man you can trust.
DavidM: Has this been helpful for you?
You: yes
You: thankyou
DavidM: Happy to help. I'll be praying for you.
DavidM: If there's nothing else, thank you for exploring ChaCha. Good night and God bless.
You: im going there not in my roflcopter
You: now*
DavidM: ????
You: im going there now in my roflcopter
DavidM: not sure what a roflcopter is, but OK.
You: chacha search it
DavidM: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended.
Status: Connected to guide: DavidM
DavidM: Welcome to ChaCha!
DavidM: Good day! How may I help you?
You: are all females crazy?
DavidM: I don't think so, but would you like to find resources on relationships?
You: why did the other guide say yes then
DavidM:
Can't speak for him/her.You: well why dont you think so
DavidM: What I think isn't really important here.
DavidM: All relationships take effort. I know that.
You: im talking about my mother
DavidM: OK. That's a relationship, too.
You: she makes me sleep outside
DavidM: Not really.
You: yes really
DavidM: How old are you?
You: 14
DavidM: If you don't mind me asking?
You: you?
DavidM: Older than 14.
You: 15?
DavidM: OK. I'm going to take the risk that you're being serious. If you are, what do you mean by outside?
You: in the garden
You: by the tree
You: i get a blanket though
You: shes not that curel
You: cruel
DavidM: OK. If you're serious, you need to talk to a teacher/pastor/counselor in private about this. If you're joking, it really isn't funny.
You: ...
You: will they send her to a mental hospital
You: because i dont want that
DavidM: I can't say. What I can say is that this is neither normal nor natural. If this is really happening, then your mother needs real help.
DavidM: Does your father live at home?
You: no
You: it started when he died
DavidM: So, your mom is a single parent. I'm sorry to hear that your father died.
You: yes
DavidM: Why does your mother make you sleep outside?
You: i think she blames me for his death
DavidM: Do you know your guidance counselors at school?
You: no i dont go to school very often
DavidM: You should. They can help you.
DavidM: Do you attend a church anywhere?
You: im not religious
DavidM: I would encourage you to do one of four things.
DavidM: First, if there's an adult relative that you trust, talk to him/her.
You: i dont really know any
DavidM: Second, go to school, ask to meet with a counselor at school
You: and i dont have many friends
DavidM: Third, find a pastor at a nearby church, whether you know them or not, and try to speak to him/her.
You: dont churches abuse vounrable children
DavidM: Fourth, your local Department of Social Services can help, but they will approach the situation much stronger and in a more legal fashion than anyone else.
You: i saw it on the news
DavidM: No. Churches do not abuse children. I am a pastor. (Seriously.) I don't abuse children.
You: some do though?
DavidM: No group of any profession is perfect. But that doesn't mean that they're all evil either.
DavidM: Do you have a Salvation Army in your area?
You: how do i know which are evil
You: im not sure
DavidM: Do you know where The Salvation Army is. Look it up in a phone book if you don't know.
You: dont they give people clothes?
DavidM: Go there. Ask to speak to the Captain or Major in charge. Talk to him/her. I am sure they will take the time to talk to you.
DavidM: They do have Thrift Stores, but they're also a church.
You: are they a real army?
You: becasue i dont want them to kill her
DavidM: If you don't mind me asking, what city/state are you in?
DavidM: The Salvation Army is not an army with guns. We are a church.
You: north carolina
DavidM: I grew up in Burlington. Where are you? You don't have to be too specific, but I know lots of Salvation Army folks in NC.
You: glenville
DavidM: I've not heard of Glenville. What larger town is it near?
You: asheville?
DavidM: I know lots of people in Asheville. The officer there is Major Terry Israel.
You: can i trust him
DavidM: Yes. Absolutely.
You: shall i tell him you sent me
DavidM: Would you like his contact information?
DavidM: You can, but that's up to you.
You: ok
DavidM: Tell him that you came across a person named Captain David May online in a chat area and he recommended that you contact him.
You: i am scared though he might be another abuser
DavidM: His wife's name is Major Donna Israel.
DavidM: I am sure either would be HAPPY to talk to you.
DavidM: I used to teach at The Salvation Army there, so I know lots of people there.
You: do you think my dog can come too
DavidM: I'm sure that can be arranged.
You: he is nice dog
DavidM: Would you like the contact information.
You: yes
DavidM: Hang on. I'll ChaCha it for you.
You: what shall i say when i get there
DavidM: Just ask to speak to Major Israel. Describe your situation, and ask him to help refer you to someone who can help you.
DavidM: I must tell you, he may simply refer you to someone, but I promise you that he will do his best to do what's best for you. I've know him a long time. He's a good man you can trust.
DavidM: Has this been helpful for you?
You: yes
You: thankyou
DavidM: Happy to help. I'll be praying for you.
DavidM: If there's nothing else, thank you for exploring ChaCha. Good night and God bless.
You: im going there not in my roflcopter
You: now*
DavidM: ????
You: im going there now in my roflcopter
DavidM: not sure what a roflcopter is, but OK.
You: chacha search it
DavidM: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended.
The airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: darrellm
darrellm: Welcome to ChaCha!
darrellm: whats up
You: Waddup dawg
darrellm: hows it goin
You: It's flowing well man, flowing well,
You: Know what I'm saying?
darrellm: african swallow or european?
You: A european swallow obviously
You: african swallows are non-migratory
darrellm: they can still be dropped from a plane
You: Are you suggesting African swallows seek out air transport as a means to migrate to temperate zones?
darrellm: if someone wants to answer your question..yes
darrellm: need anything else?
You: Could a european swallow carry a coconut?
darrellm: hold up and ill check
darrellm: what movie was that from?
You: I am merely going off on a tagent now and improvising
darrellm: oh yeah, the holy grail
You: Yeah
darrellm: anything i could really search for?
darrellm: i love these early morning searches
You: Would it be possible for two swallows to carry a coconut together with a strand of creeper held under the dorsal guiding feathers?
darrellm: no
You: Oh
You: well that's scuppered things
darrellm: pip pip
darrellm: cheers mate!
You: Tally ho
darrellm: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended.
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: darrellm
darrellm: Welcome to ChaCha!
darrellm: whats up
You: Waddup dawg
darrellm: hows it goin
You: It's flowing well man, flowing well,
You: Know what I'm saying?
darrellm: african swallow or european?
You: A european swallow obviously
You: african swallows are non-migratory
darrellm: they can still be dropped from a plane
You: Are you suggesting African swallows seek out air transport as a means to migrate to temperate zones?
darrellm: if someone wants to answer your question..yes
darrellm: need anything else?
You: Could a european swallow carry a coconut?
darrellm: hold up and ill check
darrellm: what movie was that from?
You: I am merely going off on a tagent now and improvising
darrellm: oh yeah, the holy grail
You: Yeah
darrellm: anything i could really search for?
darrellm: i love these early morning searches
You: Would it be possible for two swallows to carry a coconut together with a strand of creeper held under the dorsal guiding feathers?
darrellm: no
You: Oh
You: well that's scuppered things
darrellm: pip pip
darrellm: cheers mate!
You: Tally ho
darrellm: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended.
Associate
- Joined
- 11 Nov 2006
- Posts
- 1,630
VeNT said:
Technically all animal milk has lactose in, including Goats' Milk, however, it has a considerably reduced amount when compared to Cows' Milk.
[I think the "sleeping outside" one went a bit far really.
(I can't be bothered doing funny ones because it is too hard, I keep getting people who get angry, and they are just doing their job, so it is slightly unfair) however, I am still enjoying the funny stories of other people].Angus Higgins
Last edited:
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: RobertC
RobertC: Welcome to ChaCha!
RobertC: Hello! I will be doing your search today. What would you like me to find for you?
You: just want to know your name
RobertC: Do you have a search request?
You: our father who art in heaven - "hello, what's your name"?
You: this is the only information i seek
RobertC: Thanks for searching with ChaCha!
RobertC: Thank you for using ChaCha!
Status: Session ended.
Status: Connected to guide: RobertC
RobertC: Welcome to ChaCha!
RobertC: Hello! I will be doing your search today. What would you like me to find for you?
You: just want to know your name
RobertC: Do you have a search request?
You: our father who art in heaven - "hello, what's your name"?
You: this is the only information i seek
RobertC: Thanks for searching with ChaCha!
RobertC: Thank you for using ChaCha!
Status: Session ended.