Could you live without intercourse?

[Tummy]

I thought this was about being with a woman and her not being able to have sex, as in not just having a low sex drive? like, there is a condition that prevents her from having sex?

 

[rypt]

Simple answer to the thread, NO.

Look at all the 'romantic' things that women want, and men think of doing for their women that involves expensive meals, trips, gifts, you name it - They are all about a simple thing - A bloke TRYING to buy favours off his woman.

I tend to do that simply because I can.

I will NEVER let a girl/woman hold sex over me as some sort of control tool. I can always go out and get another girl and get some.

The last girl I was seeing possibly wanted it more than me at the time, but that was because I was very busy with lots of other stuff on my mind at the time ... plus I was trying to take it slow with her at first as I wasn't sure I wanted a relationship at the time, so I didn't spend every night with her (despite her wanting it).

 

[krooton]

I think you'll find we all agree... There is much more to a relationship than just sex. No one is arguing that point. In any relationship you have:-

- Interests compatibility
- Emotional compatibility
- Sexual compaitibility

The least important of the three headings would be 'Interests compatibility' as one would expent interests to differ between the two parties in a couple. For instance she likes Eastenders, I like Star Wars or whatever. This is fine and natural. Even healthy.

But the other two headings are hugely important in a relationship. So much so that we probably should almost completely discount the second heading altogether and give both Sexual and emotional compatibility equal importance.

You could I suppose break this down mathematically and say if your sex drives don't match then thats half your compatibility gone. Though obviously things are never that simple.

But the point is, sexual compatibility is of equal importance to emotional compatibility. Leaving someone because their sex drive is totally off kilter with your own is no worse than leaving somone because they have outright told you that they do not love you if love is something that you deeply desire in a relationship.

In either scenario the other person is unable to give you what you need. Be it sex or love.

I like this summation.

Though I would add intellectual compatibility to it.

I could not be in a relationship with someone significantly less intelligent than myself, as this impact a variety of things from general discussions to the ALL IMPORTANT sense of humour compatibility.

I could not be in a relationship with someone who wasn't emotionally similar to me, easy going, non-moody and overall positive. I've dated women who were inherently negative, and those that loved a good fight, and it totally didn't work as a result.

Interests, as you say, aren't quite as important, but I would throw a personal caveat of musical tastes. I couldn't be with someone who was heavily in to Hip Hop or Death Metal, much like I couldn't be with someone that hated dance music. They don't have to love it, but as it is a massive part of who I am, them hating it would not work.

Then there is the physical thing. I have a fairly high drive, and as such it is important to me too. I've been in relationships where sex fizzled out entirely, and it really got to me eventually.

That said Gord me lad, isn't your new lass very young? Early 20s girls are usually all full of sexual oomph, which starts to dip from the mid-twenties onwards.

 

[ChrisJSY]

Can I live with out it? Probably.

Can I live without it having a partner? No.
Having a partner to me, requires an active sex life, but then again I don't want a conventional relationship, it gives me the creeps.

 

[GordyR]

Though I would add intellectual compatibility to it.

Totally agree, I shouls have included that.

That said Gord me lad, isn't your new lass very young? Early 20s girls are usually all full of sexual oomph, which starts to dip from the mid-twenties onwards.

Indeed she is... However I am certain hers will not dip significantly over time for several reasons. At least not to the point where my own drive and hers would be dramatically out of touch.

Firstly, her mother has clearly retained her sex-drive. Don't ask how I know that!

And secondly... You can just kind of tell. It is a feeling and vibe she gives off which is impossible to describe to someone else. All I can tell you is that this isn't just your average early 20's high sex drive thing. This is a lifestyle desire. In the same way that it is for me.

 

[The Dread Pirate]

Yes I've been single for at least 5 years now <Insert forever alone.jpg here>

 

[jfp]

Yeah I couldn't do it no sex = no relationship

 

[LordSplodge]

When a woman knows she has something (sex) that YOU want - she quite literally has you by the balls. The price of her 'giving it up' has now RAISED in price. Look at all the 'romantic' things that women want, and men think of doing for their women that involves expensive meals, trips, gifts, you name it - They are all about a simple thing - A bloke TRYING to buy favours off his woman. And the kicker is that most of the time it never works. ha ha!

That's not what I'd call being in a relationship...

The trick is to feign indifference, and then they will come to you...

The trick is not to even play the game. If your in a relationship that is based on manipulation - get out.

 

[Klo]

Yes, probably.

Speaking from a foreveralone.jpg view point though.

 

[godinman]

Totally agree, I shouls have included that.



Indeed she is... However I am certain hers will not dip significantly over time for several reasons. At least not to the point where my own drive and hers would be dramatically out of touch.

Firstly, her mother has clearly retained her sex-drive. Don't ask how I know that!

And secondly... You can just kind of tell. It is a feeling and vibe she gives off which is impossible to describe to someone else. All I can tell you is that this isn't just your average early 20's high sex drive thing. This is a lifestyle desire. In the same way that it is for me.

+25 man points.

 

[LordSplodge]

Indeed she is... However I am certain hers will not dip significantly over time for several reasons. At least not to the point where my own drive and hers would be dramatically out of touch.

Firstly, her mother has clearly retained her sex-drive. Don't ask how I know that!

And secondly... You can just kind of tell. It is a feeling and vibe she gives off which is impossible to describe to someone else. All I can tell you is that this isn't just your average early 20's high sex drive thing. This is a lifestyle desire. In the same way that it is for me.

You can't really. It's a guess at best.

My sex drive and my wife's used to be the same. However unforeseen circumstances related to medication knocked hers on the head. However with work and patience and understanding (by both of us) it is now working back to where is was.

Due to the rest of our relationship being so good (great actually) it can cope with problems like this. Communication helps though - I find a lot of couples don't communicate.

 

[Yas786]

Simple answer - No I couldn't.

I've left every girlfriend that showed signs of attempting to use sex as a form of control instantly.

Also - It's funny how if you tell them you're leaving because their sex drive isn't adequate, without fail, every single time they will do the following:-

- Scream and shout that all you want them for is sex
- Pounce on you and attempt to shag your brains out

Don't give in though... Some women simply don't have super high drives. I unfortunately do. And believe me there are plenty of women out there who 'do' love sex four-five times a night/day.

Don't waste your time if your sex drives don't match. Somewhere along the ling it will cause a breakup.

Yep have to agree with Gordy here...ive been in relationships where the sex was great at the start then slowly waned out....wasnt the reasons why i split up with them...it was other reasons but tbh it did make a difference...thankfully i never cheated on them but the temptation was there...

But no just no...i could never ever be in a sexless relationship or marriage....the very thought of that scenario is scary to say the least and thankfully majority of my past relationships have been very loving with lots of sex thrown in.

 

[Swifty55]

Intercourse is so, meh. Foreplay is where it's at!

 

[Makunouchi]

That sounds like an extract from a 'predator's' diary.

I thought it sounded nice

 

[SexyGreyFox]

Absolutely not - even at my age it is very important.

 

[rypt]

I just realised that I'm at 3.5 weeks without anything

Unfortunately my frame of mind is still not correct

 

[Dirk]

No sex = no kids. Sign me up.

 

[Yas786]

I just realised that I'm at 3.5 weeks without anything

Unfortunately my frame of mind is still not correct

Its been over a month now for me but still havent quite lost my mind yet

Good to have a break from it now and again.....god help the next lady i find...im gonna pound her into the ground

 

[rypt]

I wasn't saying that I've lost my mind, I was talking about the fact that I'm still not fully over the last girl so I do not attempt to make opportunities and do not chase ones that do open up.

It is a STUPID frame of mind to be in, and has never happened to me before with respect to a girl.

 

[jumpy]

^^
try saying that after 18 months.


regarding the original question... gtfo

Baring having kids around or on the way, there's no reason a long term relationship should not have a regular thing going on.

As mentioned by others, having a nutter for an 'other half' who makes you feel guilty for wanting to pursue a normal sex life with her is a waste of time. 'All you want me for is sex...' yeah, right, that's why I never thought about another woman except you for nearly 10 years, if ******* was all we were about, you'd have been cast aside years ago.
Unless there's something medical going on, if she's not into sex with you, then she's just not into you anymore. My ex blamed it on anti-psychotic medication for loss of sex-drive, which is true up to a point, however...
LordSplodge has it down clearly:

Bailing from a long term relationship due to a possible short term sexual problem is like bailing because there is a short term money problem. It's the easy way out and probably explains the high divorce rate.

I stuck with it, only for her to do a runner because she couldn't cope with a relationship/money troubles/recession/had to 'rediscover' who she was... any old bs. But that's nutters for you; as someone said in a recent thread, something on the lines of 'she was totally mad, but I really liked her... why can't I find a nice girl who isn't as mad as a box of frogs?'

First sign of things going badly wrong is when she stops wanting to get it on anymore. Don't wait to be pushed, jump.