Sorry to hear the news. My condolencies.Sorry to post such sad news at this time of year... Had a phone call this morning to say my Gramps passed away this morning (early hours) he's been battling through the last 5/6 months, he had a tumour in his bladder that was so big it blocked the tube, he also had prostate problems which were causing him so much pain.. The doctor told us last week he wouldn't see more than 3 days but here we are a week later saying goodbye to him, We spent the last few days getting him comfortable at home where he wanted to be and had my Dad and my nan by his side this morning... I don't really know what to do and feel quite useless
Dealing with Cancer
- Thread starter movingtables
- Start date
Sorry to post such sad news at this time of year... Had a phone call this morning to say my Gramps passed away this morning (early hours) he's been battling through the last 5/6 months, he had a tumour in his bladder that was so big it blocked the tube, he also had prostate problems which were causing him so much pain.. The doctor told us last week he wouldn't see more than 3 days but here we are a week later saying goodbye to him, We spent the last few days getting him comfortable at home where he wanted to be and had my Dad and my nan by his side this morning... I don't really know what to do and feel quite useless
RIP Gramps.
RIP Gramps.
Thank you
- Joined
- 11 Feb 2004
- Posts
- 3,343
- Location
- TheWirral
How is everyone getting on dealing with cancer during these challenging times?
my dad passed away 16 months ago from stomach cancer bless him.
Things didn't really get better as my mum died 9 months later of covid / stroke in April this year.
Now it's just me and my brother rattling around in this mini mansion.
I do like the electric gates but i liked my parents much more
stay safe folks.
my dad passed away 16 months ago from stomach cancer bless him.
Things didn't really get better as my mum died 9 months later of covid / stroke in April this year.
Now it's just me and my brother rattling around in this mini mansion.
I do like the electric gates but i liked my parents much more
stay safe folks.
Found this thread quite a difficult read. My condolences to everyone and RIP to all those who have been lost.
Sadly I am going through similar this year to what others have posted.
My dad has late stage terminal cancer. Everything has moved so fast. He collapsed from seizures whilst out walking with my mum back in mid May this year. He was diagnosed with primary Brain tumor with secondary's tracking down towards the spine. In July he had a major operation in an attempt to remove the primary but unfortunately the surgeon could not get it all. In August he received the final diagnosis that it was now terminal with an estimation of 3-6 months.
Everything was going ok initially but during the last couple of months he had to be rushed back to hospital following further seizures. The initial time he was able to recover and spend another 3 weeks at home. This time however he has not really recovered (again in context). He is now in St Margaret's Hospice where my mum can stay with him and my wife and I visit every day (unless its a "bad" day). The staff have been excellent and he is at the very least comfortable.
This last week we have noticed a further decline with him sleeping more and more. He is on a 24hr "pump" of anti seizure medication and high dose steroids which, based on when he was in hospital, is the only thing preventing constant seizures (downside being constant state of drowsiness).
Can't really put into words how I am feeling at the moment.
Sadly I am going through similar this year to what others have posted.
My dad has late stage terminal cancer. Everything has moved so fast. He collapsed from seizures whilst out walking with my mum back in mid May this year. He was diagnosed with primary Brain tumor with secondary's tracking down towards the spine. In July he had a major operation in an attempt to remove the primary but unfortunately the surgeon could not get it all. In August he received the final diagnosis that it was now terminal with an estimation of 3-6 months.
Everything was going ok initially but during the last couple of months he had to be rushed back to hospital following further seizures. The initial time he was able to recover and spend another 3 weeks at home. This time however he has not really recovered (again in context). He is now in St Margaret's Hospice where my mum can stay with him and my wife and I visit every day (unless its a "bad" day). The staff have been excellent and he is at the very least comfortable.
This last week we have noticed a further decline with him sleeping more and more. He is on a 24hr "pump" of anti seizure medication and high dose steroids which, based on when he was in hospital, is the only thing preventing constant seizures (downside being constant state of drowsiness).
Can't really put into words how I am feeling at the moment.
How is everyone getting on dealing with cancer during these challenging times?
my dad passed away 16 months ago from stomach cancer bless him.
Things didn't really get better as my mum died 9 months later of covid / stroke in April this year.
Now it's just me and my brother rattling around in this mini mansion.
I do like the electric gates but i liked my parents much more
stay safe folks.
Really sorry to hear it guys. Sad times.
It's now 11 months since my mum died. She was in hospital this time last year and I was doing 300 mile rounds trips nearly every day. We inherited her elderly cat who the whole family adores. So we still have a little bit of my mum wandering around the house.
- Joined
- 11 Feb 2004
- Posts
- 3,343
- Location
- TheWirral
wishing you guys the best.
Lost a ball, in January this year. Got told it was a 5cm cancer and needed a blast of chemo. Then because of the chemo i had to isolate till August. Messed my head up a little bit if im honest. Back at work now and because I'm an emergency worker, I have the pleasure to work through this next lock down. Fun times lay ahead.
Associate
- Joined
- 13 Jul 2009
- Posts
- 1,133
- Location
- Cambs
Also a tough year here too.
My dad was having issues early this year, at first we suspected a hernia. This was confirmed, but additional scans were delayed due to the onset of COVID. When he did go in they decided to do a wider scan than they typically would to try and reduce the need to go back for further imaging. He was diagnosed with bowel cancer and a GIST in his stomach (a rare tumour) was also found. The hospital prioritised the bowel cancer as the GIST will typically grow slower and is less likely to be cancerous (although they will need to biopsy post removal to be sure). He had surgery in May, which enabled them to finish the staging in June; Stage 2 High Risk as whilst not in the lymph nodes it is in the vascular system and could be seen in some blood vessels but did not at that time appear to have spread further (lungs/liver). He had 3mos of chemo (Jul-Sep), he went back for another CT scan and blood tests as the CEA marker on his last blood test after chemo came back much higher than they expected so they want to follow up and see where things are. He goes back to his oncologist in a couple of weeks & we'll find out more then. It's likely that the GIST removal which was meant to happen in Oct will now be delayed due to COVID and could be impacted on next steps with the bowel cancer.
On the day of my dad's surgery my mum was very unwell & I insisted she called the GP or 999 as she'd mentioned vomiting blood. She ended up at the hospital and had a few units replaced, but then crashed the following morning. They were able to resuscitate & performed banding on stomach varices that had burst. She has cirrhosis of the liver (non-alcoholic) and this causes varices, which can then burst. She was in hospital for a week then returned home. A few weeks later there was another minor bleed. Late Aug another major bleed occurred and she lost vast amounts of blood at home. They needed to resuscitate her again & replace 6 units of blood, further banding & a couple more units of blood and plasma over the course of the week. They released her after 10 days, and then 4 days later she nearly died at home. The first thing the ambulance staff asked was does she have a DNR, they resuscitated her on route to the hospital. I was on a video call at the time with them when it all happened and hearing what I can only describe as zombie sounds of her trying to fight to stay alive was awful & heart-breaking. She ended up in critical care, and once stable was transferred to Liverpool for an emergency TIPSS procedure (a stent to link the 2 veins in the liver). She had further banding procedures done whilst there & they had to deal with 2 significant blood clots post surgery. Sep 14th she was home but then managed to hurt her leg, we're not sure if she slipped but her whole leg went purple and was around 4x bigger than her other leg. They suspected a severe muscle tear and so currently is unable to walk unassisted. We're awaiting results and a consult with a specialist to confirm. Then last week I got a call from my dad to say something different was wrong, my mum was acting as if she had dementia, she was terrified, couldn't concentrate or understand what was being asked of her. She couldn't remember how to sit, or my dad's name etc. I had to talk to her like a 4 year old for 30mins over the phone to try and help my dad be able to get her out of bed and into a wheelchair for when medical staff could arrive at the house. She was fine at 11pm the night before & then this happened out of the blue. The multiple medical staff that went to the house did not want to risk taking her to hospital due to COVID, so we're still trying to find out exactly what happened. She started to come back around after being put in the wheelchair but still not 'normal', after 24 hrs she was back to her usual self & thankfully for her could not recall anything from the previous day. One doctor who they spoke with on Sat thinks that it could have been a perfect storm of her BP dropping too low, her sugar raising quickly & having new meds that don't seem to be suiting her could have caused a form of delirium. So my dad will have to continue to monitor and we just have to hope it doesn't happen again.
Then for me I was unwell for 3mos from Mar, the doctors suspected a mild case of COVID and that my asthma was making it harder to recover from. I wasn't able to get any tests done to confirm so we'll never know for sure. I went back to work and after about 5-6 weeks ended up with shingles in my face and needed to have more time off to recover. That took about 6 weeks with a lot of meds to manage the pain & I continued to have some pain after the shingles had cleared.
Honestly, 2020 has been awful for so many people. I just hope things start to improve, otherwise I may need to pencil in some form of breakdown for December
. Until then I'll keep supporting the parents the best I can whilst being 150+ miles away.
My dad was having issues early this year, at first we suspected a hernia. This was confirmed, but additional scans were delayed due to the onset of COVID. When he did go in they decided to do a wider scan than they typically would to try and reduce the need to go back for further imaging. He was diagnosed with bowel cancer and a GIST in his stomach (a rare tumour) was also found. The hospital prioritised the bowel cancer as the GIST will typically grow slower and is less likely to be cancerous (although they will need to biopsy post removal to be sure). He had surgery in May, which enabled them to finish the staging in June; Stage 2 High Risk as whilst not in the lymph nodes it is in the vascular system and could be seen in some blood vessels but did not at that time appear to have spread further (lungs/liver). He had 3mos of chemo (Jul-Sep), he went back for another CT scan and blood tests as the CEA marker on his last blood test after chemo came back much higher than they expected so they want to follow up and see where things are. He goes back to his oncologist in a couple of weeks & we'll find out more then. It's likely that the GIST removal which was meant to happen in Oct will now be delayed due to COVID and could be impacted on next steps with the bowel cancer.
On the day of my dad's surgery my mum was very unwell & I insisted she called the GP or 999 as she'd mentioned vomiting blood. She ended up at the hospital and had a few units replaced, but then crashed the following morning. They were able to resuscitate & performed banding on stomach varices that had burst. She has cirrhosis of the liver (non-alcoholic) and this causes varices, which can then burst. She was in hospital for a week then returned home. A few weeks later there was another minor bleed. Late Aug another major bleed occurred and she lost vast amounts of blood at home. They needed to resuscitate her again & replace 6 units of blood, further banding & a couple more units of blood and plasma over the course of the week. They released her after 10 days, and then 4 days later she nearly died at home. The first thing the ambulance staff asked was does she have a DNR, they resuscitated her on route to the hospital. I was on a video call at the time with them when it all happened and hearing what I can only describe as zombie sounds of her trying to fight to stay alive was awful & heart-breaking. She ended up in critical care, and once stable was transferred to Liverpool for an emergency TIPSS procedure (a stent to link the 2 veins in the liver). She had further banding procedures done whilst there & they had to deal with 2 significant blood clots post surgery. Sep 14th she was home but then managed to hurt her leg, we're not sure if she slipped but her whole leg went purple and was around 4x bigger than her other leg. They suspected a severe muscle tear and so currently is unable to walk unassisted. We're awaiting results and a consult with a specialist to confirm. Then last week I got a call from my dad to say something different was wrong, my mum was acting as if she had dementia, she was terrified, couldn't concentrate or understand what was being asked of her. She couldn't remember how to sit, or my dad's name etc. I had to talk to her like a 4 year old for 30mins over the phone to try and help my dad be able to get her out of bed and into a wheelchair for when medical staff could arrive at the house. She was fine at 11pm the night before & then this happened out of the blue. The multiple medical staff that went to the house did not want to risk taking her to hospital due to COVID, so we're still trying to find out exactly what happened. She started to come back around after being put in the wheelchair but still not 'normal', after 24 hrs she was back to her usual self & thankfully for her could not recall anything from the previous day. One doctor who they spoke with on Sat thinks that it could have been a perfect storm of her BP dropping too low, her sugar raising quickly & having new meds that don't seem to be suiting her could have caused a form of delirium. So my dad will have to continue to monitor and we just have to hope it doesn't happen again.
Then for me I was unwell for 3mos from Mar, the doctors suspected a mild case of COVID and that my asthma was making it harder to recover from. I wasn't able to get any tests done to confirm so we'll never know for sure. I went back to work and after about 5-6 weeks ended up with shingles in my face and needed to have more time off to recover. That took about 6 weeks with a lot of meds to manage the pain & I continued to have some pain after the shingles had cleared.
Honestly, 2020 has been awful for so many people. I just hope things start to improve, otherwise I may need to pencil in some form of breakdown for December
. Until then I'll keep supporting the parents the best I can whilst being 150+ miles away.
Last edited:
Wow, that's intense @PixieLandGirl am so sorry to hear everything you and your family have gone through so far. Fingers crossed things start to improve for you soon
am so sorry to hear everything you and your family have gone through so far. Fingers crossed things start to improve for you soon
Associate
- Joined
- 20 Mar 2014
- Posts
- 2,361
Sorry to hear PixieLandGirl. I hope 2021 is kinder to you and your family.
@PixieLandGirl thank you for posting that. The mysterious delirium that your mother suffered sounds exactly what my mother has been going through, on and off for the past 18 months. Everyone thinks it's dementia but I have never been convinced and she still has no formal diagnosis. Your post is very helpful.
I hope you and your family have a better 2021. You'll certainly be stronger. Thanks again.
I hope you and your family have a better 2021. You'll certainly be stronger. Thanks again.
I'm sorry to hear about your dads diagnosis. I was diagnosed with a brain tumor in June (GBM Grade 4 Wildtype Diffuse Multiform - about as bad as you can get being inoperable) Had an operation at Addenbrookes after a 12 week wait due to bloody COVID 19. Then had a 6 week radio and chemo treatment that ended 3 weeks ago. Currently waiting another week for a MRI scan to see how things have gone. Based on the scan i will go onto another round of Chemo with one week on and theree weeks off at a higher dose. I have not really suffered any side effects so consider myself very lucku in many ways. I have losy some hair and my food all tastes odd but no sickness or fatigue a such. I did have a seizure last Saturday due to overdoing the exercise. 25 miles walking in 3 days was just too much apparently. The Steroids (Dexamethasone) are a bugger for ruining your sleep patterns. Initially I was on 16mg of steroid and slept an hour a night if i was lucky which was absolutely manic and very hard for both me and my family. I've been on 4mg for about a month which is much better and am now on 2mg a of tomorrow so sleep should improive a gain hopefully. The balance of sleep and exercise is critical if you like to keep actibe which I do. I'm not a sit in bed and mope about type of guy. Its very tough on the family around you..........i think harder for them than me in many ways. anyway I'm doing OK and still here which is all thta matters for now. Best of luck to your father and keep as positive as you can.
Associate
- Joined
- 13 Jul 2009
- Posts
- 1,133
- Location
- Cambs
Thanks all for the well wishes for my parents.
@Yadda it's looking like it may not be BP related. My dad reported another episode at 4am this morning so they have a district nurse due out to them today to do follow-up checks & blood tests. He took her BP and it was relatively normal, albeit he's not sure how long she had been upright upright so maybe it was lower when the episode started.
@speedyj wishing you all the best with your results & any additional treatment. My dad was also on steroids, I can't recall which ones but he also found his sleep was all over the place.
@Yadda it's looking like it may not be BP related. My dad reported another episode at 4am this morning so they have a district nurse due out to them today to do follow-up checks & blood tests. He took her BP and it was relatively normal, albeit he's not sure how long she had been upright upright so maybe it was lower when the episode started.
@speedyj wishing you all the best with your results & any additional treatment. My dad was also on steroids, I can't recall which ones but he also found his sleep was all over the place.
Thanks all for the well wishes for my parents.
@Yadda it's looking like it may not be BP related. My dad reported another episode at 4am this morning so they have a district nurse due out to them today to do follow-up checks & blood tests. He took her BP and it was relatively normal, albeit he's not sure how long she had been upright upright so maybe it was lower when the episode started.
@speedyj wishing you all the best with your results & any additional treatment. My dad was also on steroids, I can't recall which ones but he also found his sleep was all over the place.
I'm very sorry to hear that your mother was unwell again in the night. It all sounds very familiar. I know this is a difficult time, but if it's not too much trouble can you please let me know what her Doctors/nurses say? I'll do the same and who knows, between us it might help fill in some blanks. Thanks, all the very best.
Associate
- Joined
- 13 Jul 2009
- Posts
- 1,133
- Location
- Cambs
@Yadda will do
Associate
- Joined
- 13 Jul 2009
- Posts
- 1,133
- Location
- Cambs
@Yadda my mum seems to have stabilized since they reduced her new water tablet dose & switched her anti-acid tablet back to what it was. With them having to reduce the water tablet they've now given her something else to add to the mix so we'll see what happens over the next week or so.
And because 2020 is the year that keeps on giving, I've now been placed on a fast track 2 week appointment to rule out cancer for myself. I'm fairly sure it won't be the case but I would like to just have a solid month with no stress, that would be super awesome.
And because 2020 is the year that keeps on giving, I've now been placed on a fast track 2 week appointment to rule out cancer for myself. I'm fairly sure it won't be the case but I would like to just have a solid month with no stress, that would be super awesome.
I am sorry to hear about the pain everyone is going through.
After I posted last year about losing my father to Motor Neurone Disease, this year along with COVID making it a stellar followup year to that, my Mum has just found out her cancer is back after 14 years. Unforunately it is now in her spine and pelvis and has a long road of drugs and bone strengthening injections ahead with it obviously having an impact on her long term life expectancy.
I am 34 and I am not really feeling ok about the real possiblity of losing both my parents before I hit 40.
After I posted last year about losing my father to Motor Neurone Disease, this year along with COVID making it a stellar followup year to that, my Mum has just found out her cancer is back after 14 years. Unforunately it is now in her spine and pelvis and has a long road of drugs and bone strengthening injections ahead with it obviously having an impact on her long term life expectancy.
I am 34 and I am not really feeling ok about the real possiblity of losing both my parents before I hit 40.