Depression/Stress

AHarvey said:
My advice, time for a life change. Exercise is good at helping depression, start going on on walks, runs, bike rides etc. Get her out and about, seeing new things.
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We are as active as we reasonably can be with a small child :)

TrixiBuG said:
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Thanks.

The drug thing is something I find worrying, I'm not too sure she is keen on that either but doctors orders and all.

jumpy said:
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Cheers for the post.

I think it's more something that has came about. She has a pretty busy job, she chooses to teach piano in her spare time and then we have an 18 month old which adds to it all.

It doesn't help that I have a more stressful job and I work away quite a bit so I think this exacerbates things. We do things as a partnership but its hard when im not present at all.

Another problem is we are both stubborn buggers :) arguments which, in retrospect, may have been being brought on by what she is going through are made worse with both of us refusing to be wrong in an argument and then needling at each other. Obviously this is something I'm trying to curtail now but I find it difficult without really concentrating on it as its not in my nature to backdown, especially if its through someone else being unreasonable :(

Thanks again all.
 
I will tell you this, it sickens me the lack of knowledge that people have about mental health problems.

Snap out of it!

Pull yourself together!

You're weak!

Etc.

I have OCD. Is it that checking thing? No, not always for me!

I have depression. Bad day? Everyday!

Having a bad day at work? So you class yourself as depressed?

Wake up! Yes, I have depression, OCD, epilepsy and other stuff, but to say if someone had a bad day, at for example, work, ergo they must be depressed is slightly insulting to people with depression and other mental health problems.

I "HAD", seems to be a recurring theme in a lot of people. I had OCD? I had depression? In fact (for me) I will always 'have' it, you need to realise that it is a part of you, but you can help yourself.

Meds are not the only route, obviously it does depends on the severity and every individual.

Meds for me (which I was on many), numbed my mind for more than ten years and gave me some horrendous side-effects, the hardest time was ceasing them. Have an open mind about things.

Generalizing is also seems to be a favourite past time of people too; tell you what, think outside of the box and have a thought of your own once in a while instead of jumping on the band wagon.

But ultimately strength comes from within, to admit this to yourself is the first step in order to help yourself; talk and keep talking, listen and try and be listened to (although this can be hard due to bigots).

Thank you for reading and probably taking apart my post, but it needed to be said.

Choose to talk.

Cheers, David.
 
^^ Please tell her not to worry about the medication - I was worried too...

The only side effect I have had is that it made me tired/ sleepy, but that seems to be stopping now.

She wont turn into a vegetable or a zombie. And if she takes them before bed she wont be all strung out and hyper.

They help, they are good, and she will be closely monitored by her Doctor (well she should be) throughout this process.

You mentioned that you had a young child, has she mentioned or does she think it might be PND (Post Natal Depression) which has gone undiagnosed. Just a though ofc

Edit: In response to davedudes post - its funny you should say that about generalizations and 'Oh just snap out of it' etc. I went to my family Doctors about 2 years ago with the same feelings that I detail above. Unfortunately I saw a locum doctor. I sat there and openly wept in front of him and he told me that I perhaps needed to change my view point and "Consider myself lucky that I had a home, family and a job, and that I wasn't living 100's of miles away from the people I loved"

I just couldn't believe that even when I had poured my heart out to him - he was a young Indian guy - and was sobbing in his office, he basically dismissed me cause my family lived local!?
 
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Very quick and general comment: try a keep fit activity together if you can make the time.
 
When I became even more erratic and depressed than normal (I was not properly diagnosed at this point) I was put anti-depressants by GP that were of no use and I eventually committed myself to local psychiatric hospital. (ended up there for two months but better than killing myself) I now live a reasonable stable life with the help of 7500-8000 tablets a year. (Some are for pain not only my brain) Psychotherapy helped and I also regurlarly see psychiatrist, psychitric nurse and support worker.

Having them to call at any time really helps.

Tell her not to worry and not to hide how she is feeling. Being honest is a must when depressed, though sometimes very hard.
 
I forgot to mention that sometimes a correct diagnosis and the correct medication can take a while. 2 years in my case for diagnosis and 4 years until the correct bundle of meds made me "normal" again.

It takes patience and lots of ups and downs but it is worth the fight.
 
Had it myself and still taking meds for it. Been 8 years now! It is a terrible illness. I don't want to go down that road again! I rang NHS Direct which got me to see my doc. Spent approx 2 six month periods off from work. It was a terrible time.

Seek help and hope all goes ok.
 
I found that carrying on with work has helped.

My Dr wanted to sign me off for 2 weeks when he diagnosed me, but I was worried about how work would take me having time off and I knew that I would worry about it.

I at least knew that I had to get up and get on a train and go into the office. Where as if I had been signed off I don't think I would have left the bed or the house :(
 
ikillbears said:
to jump in. any one here come off citalopram before ? experiences etc ?
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I took it for 6 months and then stopped. Didn't make any difference for me at all. I didn't think it made a difference to my mood taking it though.
 
Tripnologist said:
MDMA can provide clarity and the ability to see oneself objectively. It also allows one to open up emotionally, making it easier to figure out what is wrong. As such, it has considerable therapeutic potential. (It's illegal obviously, so this isn't a recommendation to try it, just stating facts.)
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Quite right, there was a big following in using certain drugs for psychoanalysis, it's only since it became illegal in the 60's that it all stopped. It's making a big comeback now, hence the trials done recently on channel 4.
 
4T5 said:
Think somebody needs to bring this back down to GD.

1. Just give her a shake & tell her to pull herself together.
2. Trade her in for a new one.
3. Spike all her drinks.
4. Give her a proper reason to be depressed, Go **** her Sisters & Mum & her Dad.


The balance of the World is restored. :cool:
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LOLS

yeah also don't let her take Antid pills...

they prescribed them to my friend, completely stupid.
 
Tripnologist said:
MDMA can provide clarity and the ability to see oneself objectively. It also allows one to open up emotionally, making it easier to figure out what is wrong. As such, it has considerable therapeutic potential. (It's illegal obviously, so this isn't a recommendation to try it, just stating facts.)
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Magic mushrooms too,

and they also have no negative side effects, brb class A drug lol???

BRB anti depressants brb needing to rely on them rest of my life to feel normal because now my brain doesn't produce dopamine anymore. BRB legal and handed out like candy.

Brb brb
 
Having recently come through possibly the worst time of my life so far and still battling to an extent, I have a lot of sympathy and admiration for you for sticking with her.
I hadn't realised that I had been suffering from depression for a long while, and my partner of the time had no idea about it either, she merely thought I had become a miserable overweight cynical version of myself. I was in fact hiding a lot more beneath the surface than anyone could see, yet tried to stay strong as I had always done and not let anyone in.
I'd always been everybody's rock, and having experienced a parent with depression and a sister with bipolar disorder, the last thing I believed was that I, the mighty fortress of sanity could be ill.
Unfortunately, the only thing keeping me together at the time was the love of my partner, but sadly that was removed from my life in a sudden and unexpected fashion and left me pretty much completely broken.
I've never written this or admitted this in public before, but I tried taking my own life while at my worst. I was plagued by nightmares when I did finally sleep, my waking moments were a rollercoaster of intrusive thoughts and I thought that little of myself that I squared the blame of my failures on me being a useless sack of organs that wasn't fit to be on this planet any more.
I finally got help after waking up from my unsuccessful attempt and broke down at the doctors. It turns out that I hadn't been producing Serotonin correctly for a long long while and had effectively ran out, so fortunately for me a month of Citalopram (a Selective Serotonin Uptake Inhibitor) had me back on my feet and feeling better than I had in 6 years or more. It's going to be a long road until I am completely OK again, but I can say that things would have been a hell of lot easier and less lonely if I had had the support of a loving partner.
Even at her worst, don't doubt what a comfort it is simply knowing that you are there for her. :)
I'm lucky that I had friends and family around who stepped up, and indeed some very kind people who didn't even know me that offered me an ear and advice when I was low.

I can also say that exercise is a definite help. I've lost 4 stone now since September through changing my diet and walking/running and starting to lift weights, and the physical transformations alone have boosted my self esteem more than I ever thought!
 
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Yes I got my brother through a period of chronic depression.

His partner left him, he lost his job, he was in a mountain of debt he was an alchoholic ,he couldn't see a way out etc etc.

So I took him in, dealt with his financial problems, helped get him back into regular work, provided the support he needed to stop drinking and smoking, got him back out into dating etc etc.

Its been 2 years of hard work but he's better now and back in the real world.
 
atpbx said:
Yes I got my brother through a period of chronic depression.

His partner left him, he lost his job, he was in a mountain of debt he was an alchoholic ,he couldn't see a way out etc etc.

So I took him in, dealt with his financial problems, helped get him back into regular work, provided the support he needed to stop drinking and smoking, got him back out into dating etc etc.

Its been 2 years of hard work but he's better now and back in the real world.
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You Sir, are a gentleman and a scholar!
 
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