Divorce advice!!

Ghost in the Shell said:
in response -

she could use relate sessions for a 1-1 for a while until she feels the mediator has an understanding of her side which may well help to work together

im also an only child and i know what you mean but do find someone to work things through with, and preferably not a bottle they dont offer any long term solutions.. enjoy the freedom it provides you by all means but dont rely on it or see it as the answer. disasociate the two or you are likely to have an even bigger problem on your hands

even if its true that she used you, your only torturing yourself with feelings like that. be the better man and wish her well with her choices, it will help you in the long run and if it has any affect on her it will only be that she can relect on the good man that you are...

i dont have MSN on my mac at the mo and have to go to bed shortly but brownswoodbasement at gmail.com and maybe some other time we can chew the fat of life.

easy now
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i must admit this is probably the best response i have read to a relationship thread on here!

I always resort to a bottle of something, it's the way i have been for a long time. Just recently i have turned to my closest uncle for support and he has been there for me but as he lives in france it's always difficult to be there 'at the time of need'

I will wish her well with whatever she choses to do as long as it isn't to try and shaft me ;)
 
drunken fool said:
i must admit this is probably the best response i have read to a relationship thread on here!

I always resort to a bottle of something, it's the way i have been for a long time. Just recently i have turned to my closest uncle for support and he has been there for me but as he lives in france it's always difficult to be there 'at the time of need'

I will wish her well with whatever she choses to do as long as it isn't to try and shaft me ;)
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your too kind, i dont drink unless i really want to which is very rare and even then i dont like the feeling of being drunk. i just like a nice wine with food or a cold beer on a hot day etc. ive never drank to achieve anything else, or at least when i have its always been a crap experience for me!

my release if anything is my music, its quite a solitary thing for me but it does comfort me when i need to feel better.

ill try and get msn on later or at least sometime this week :)
 
Sorry for the long post: serious subject!
i can sympathise with you both, i went through the same thing a few years ago.

we didn't go through solicitors, because frankly, we couldn't afford to, so we sat down and went through everything. One of the hardest things we ever did, but it sort of gave us some closure too, and after some pretty acrimonious times, we parted amicably enough and actually were closer friends after the time we spent together sorting stuff out than I think we ever had been. We just determined that we'd worked too hard to line the pockets of a solicitor, and although I'm not suggesting everyone could do this, it worked for us, and we didn't involve them at all - we handled our own divorce through the court and filled in our own paperwork too.

There were some pretty awful times after we split, but i'm an only child too (pattern forming here? :eek: ) and though i enjoy my own company, i hate living alone (fear of abandonment etc) and i got to the point where I realised that although i was always with him, i felt totally alone. I bizzarely felt less alone when i left him to live on my own with my 2 kitties and fell into my writing as a release whenever i felt down. I wrote some of my best stuff during those times.

Believe me though, things do get better. I got stronger and learnt to deal with crappy stuff after what I went through with the divorce. It's made me realise how good things are even when you're having a bad time ( if that makes sense), and once you move on and get over the sadness, you'll never look back.

Stay strong, and don't fall into a bottle. That's the worse thing you can do.
 
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kitten_caboodle said:
Sorry for the long post: serious subject!
i can sympathise with you both, i went through the same thing a few years ago.

we didn't go through solicitors, because frankly, we couldn't afford to, so we sat down and went through everything. One of the hardest things we ever did, but it sort of gave us some closure too, and after some pretty acrimonious times, we parted amicably enough and actually were closer friends after the time we spent together sorting stuff out than I think we ever had been. We just determined that we'd worked too hard to line the pockets of a solicitor, and although I'm not suggesting everyone could do this, it worked for us, and we didn't involve them at all - we handled our own divorce through the court and filled in our own paperwork too.

There were some pretty awful times after we split, but i'm an only child too (pattern forming here? :eek: ) and though i enjoy my own company, i hate living alone (fear of abandonment etc) and i got to the point where I realised that although i was always with him, i felt totally alone. I bizzarely felt less alone when i left him to live on my own with my 2 kitties and fell into my writing as a release whenever i felt down. I wrote some of my best stuff during those times.

Believe me though, things do get better. I got stronger and learnt to deal with crappy stuff after what I went through with the divorce. It's made me realise how good things are even when you're having a bad time ( if that makes sense), and once you move on and get over the sadness, you'll never look back.

Stay strong, and don't fall into a bottle. That's the worse thing you can do.
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to summize 'you have to experience the bitter to be able to fully embrace the sweet' a bitter-sweet harmony is the balance to a full life.. amen
 
Have u thought about going to mediation?

It's not the same as Relate, they won't try and get you back together, but the same person will sit down with you both individually and together to come up with a proposal on how to split the assets etc.

Because it's a solution that you both agree to, they'll be less of the one-up-manship they can happen when solicitors get involved from the start.
You will need to a solicitor convert what you've agreed into a legally binding document.

http://www.nfm.u-net.com/
 
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