Soldato
When i got divorced, we split everything 50/50. And, i see my 16 year old every day too.
I had a good solicitor and me and the ex get on really well.
I had a good solicitor and me and the ex get on really well.
Divorce
- Thread starter Lonewolf
- Start date
Question for people, if you get married the divorced. Why on earth do you want to get married again? Especially if the divorce was messy!
Older generation, mainly the Baby Boomers and Gen X. On their 2nd or 3rd marriage after divorce. Didnt they learn from the first or second time!?!?!
Older generation, mainly the Baby Boomers and Gen X. On their 2nd or 3rd marriage after divorce. Didnt they learn from the first or second time!?!?!
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Soldato
I probably won't remarry myself but kinda basically married lolQuestion for people, if you get married the divorced. Why on earth do you want to get married again? Especially if the divorce was messy!
Older generation, mainly the Baby Boomers and Gen X. On their 2nd or 3rd marriage after divorce. Didnt they learn from the first or second time!?!?!
Question for people, if you get married the divorced. Why on earth do you want to get married again? Especially if the divorce was messy!
Older generation, mainly the Baby Boomers and Gen X. On their 2nd or 3rd marriage after divorce. Didnt they learn from the first or second time!?!?!
My Parents got married, got divorced, then got married again & divorced again, they are still friends, messy lol.
Soldato
Jesus. That’s the sorta family life that produces serial killers lol
It's hard to listen to as someone who has always knew they wouldn't want to get married. A close friend got royally screwed over when his wife left him and she also took him to the cleaners. He more or less had to start from scratch. Hope you have a better time.
Good luck chap.
Soldato
Circumstances and feelings change. I've never wanted kids so never thought I'd get married and was happy to go through life without it but then at 38 met someone it felt right with. Got divorced 4 years later. 
Financially there was a large imbalance between my wife and I both in savings and earning capacity but I thought that didn't matter, ultimately it did though. We bought a house "together" (my deposit and me paying the mortgage). She hardly worked and looked after me and the house which worked well for a period of time, then she got a full time job. I lost my cook and cleaner and gained nothing. I was still paying all the bills. When we divorced I managed to keep the house, she agreed to sign it over to me in return for a lumpsum payment from my Superannuation Account (compulsory private pension account you cant touch until retirement, 9.5% of your pre tax salary). Begrudgingly agreed, paid her off, got divorced and not heard a peep since. The hole in my superannuation has been filled as I continue to earn.
I guess what I'm saying is that yes it hurts financially at the time giving up so much but you get something for that money. It bought me her out of my life, never to bother me again. Ultimately it bought me happiness and a feeling of release. Freedom! Money comes and goes. What seems like a lot now won't feel so much in a few years.
I said I'd never marry again but met an amazing girl when separated. Been together ever since. Bought and renovated a house together and have far more in common and do more stuff together than my wife and I ever did. I also feel like we are equal, she actually earns more than I do, but everything is 50/50 joint bank accounts etc. Divorce law when no kids are involved in Australia is relatively straight forward. You take what you each had before the marriage, then subtract that from the total of what the combined is now. Take half each. Establishing that during the divorce was tough so when my current Mrs moved in I suggested we put together an assets spreadsheet together. This is far easier when you are friends. That way if it all goes south you have a starting point that is fair and was agreed upon. I have passed this advice on to everyone I know who are married or co-habiting.
Our lives are so intertwined that we say we may as well be married, I often say I am as feel too old to call her my girlfriend, so we decided we would, probably next year, small ceremony somewhere exotic.
Don't give up OP or anyone else. Ask yourself how many other decisions in your life did you get right first time? Not many I'd bet!
Financially there was a large imbalance between my wife and I both in savings and earning capacity but I thought that didn't matter, ultimately it did though. We bought a house "together" (my deposit and me paying the mortgage). She hardly worked and looked after me and the house which worked well for a period of time, then she got a full time job. I lost my cook and cleaner and gained nothing. I was still paying all the bills. When we divorced I managed to keep the house, she agreed to sign it over to me in return for a lumpsum payment from my Superannuation Account (compulsory private pension account you cant touch until retirement, 9.5% of your pre tax salary). Begrudgingly agreed, paid her off, got divorced and not heard a peep since. The hole in my superannuation has been filled as I continue to earn.
I guess what I'm saying is that yes it hurts financially at the time giving up so much but you get something for that money. It bought me her out of my life, never to bother me again. Ultimately it bought me happiness and a feeling of release. Freedom! Money comes and goes. What seems like a lot now won't feel so much in a few years.
I said I'd never marry again but met an amazing girl when separated. Been together ever since. Bought and renovated a house together and have far more in common and do more stuff together than my wife and I ever did. I also feel like we are equal, she actually earns more than I do, but everything is 50/50 joint bank accounts etc. Divorce law when no kids are involved in Australia is relatively straight forward. You take what you each had before the marriage, then subtract that from the total of what the combined is now. Take half each. Establishing that during the divorce was tough so when my current Mrs moved in I suggested we put together an assets spreadsheet together. This is far easier when you are friends. That way if it all goes south you have a starting point that is fair and was agreed upon. I have passed this advice on to everyone I know who are married or co-habiting.
Our lives are so intertwined that we say we may as well be married, I often say I am as feel too old to call her my girlfriend, so we decided we would, probably next year, small ceremony somewhere exotic.
Don't give up OP or anyone else. Ask yourself how many other decisions in your life did you get right first time? Not many I'd bet!
Associate
Currently going though divorce myself and have no desire to fight the woman for anything as I simply can’t go through with it . Lost everything in the last 2 years and the mental side of things has destroyed me .
Why in this day and age anyone would get married I do not know. Relationships, sex, and the dating market place have changed so much in just the past 15 years.
I’ve been with my partner 10 years, she’s my age, and having slept with and formed relationships with girls 10+ years younger than me, I’d never wife one up. It’s an utter minefield out there.
I’ve been with my partner 10 years, she’s my age, and having slept with and formed relationships with girls 10+ years younger than me, I’d never wife one up. It’s an utter minefield out there.
Yeah, I was planning to get married this year until she decided to leave last summer. Me personally, I dont see the point of getting married unless you have kids together. Which is for the benefit of the kids to have that special family bond. Not because she just wants a wedding. Women want a wedding but they dont want to be wives as I once heard.
I don't understand people who get married again, some more than twice. We all make mistakes but you should also learn from your expensive mistakes and not to repeat them. Otherwise you only have yourself to blame when it all goes wrong.........again!
I don't understand people who get married again, some more than twice. We all make mistakes but you should also learn from your expensive mistakes and not to repeat them. Otherwise you only have yourself to blame when it all goes wrong.........again!
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Don't a lot of people run into problems later in life when not married. A partner dies and they lose the house, get kicked out, lose the partners pension e.c.t all because they are not married. A lot of people have ran into major problems due to living together and not being married. Usually when the partner unexpectedly dies and living person find out the have no right to anything. Sometimes even ending up homeless in the worst case.Question for people, if you get married the divorced. Why on earth do you want to get married again? Especially if the divorce was messy!
Older generation, mainly the Baby Boomers and Gen X. On their 2nd or 3rd marriage after divorce. Didnt they learn from the first or second time!?!?!
Soldato
- Joined
- 7 Feb 2004
- Posts
- 3,072
That certainly wasn't the case when I got divorced 4 years ago.
We managed to agree a financial settlement between us both, I got a solicitor to draw up a settlement agreement using the figures we had settled on, this cost me about £900.
She got a solicitor that I sent the agreement to and then she signed the agreement. Mine or her solicitor didn't offer us any financial advice, they were just used to draw up the settlement agreement.
I then applied and paid for a divorce online, this was heard in a random court somewhere, our settlement agreement didn't even come in to it.
The whole process was pretty straightforward. When we decided we no longer wished to be together we agreed to keep things amicable and on speaking terms, to avoid the need for getting solicitors involved.
The kids spent a week at mine then a week at hers so 50:50 contact, therefore I had no need to pay maintenance.
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