Do you feel ashamed of your lack of achievements? What do you regret in life?
- Thread starter Haggisman
- Start date
There's plenty of potential alternatives of myself that could have ended up much worse off.
Caporegime
My only regret is not emigrating either of the two times the opportunity presented itself.
However, I’m content with my lot in life, I’ve achieved enough that my wife doesn’t have to work and that I should be good to retire early (and given the age most of the males in my family dies, early retirement is a must for me, I was the oldest male member of the family before the age of 30).
Would I re-do anything given the chance? Possibly, but who knows what the knock-on effect would have been.
However, I’m content with my lot in life, I’ve achieved enough that my wife doesn’t have to work and that I should be good to retire early (and given the age most of the males in my family dies, early retirement is a must for me, I was the oldest male member of the family before the age of 30).
Would I re-do anything given the chance? Possibly, but who knows what the knock-on effect would have been.
Been musing about this a lot this year. Due to some. Family and personal stuff making me realise "time is precious"
Regrets..
Big one is doing molecular biology at uni
I should have done engineering.. My life would be different
-Being too passive/shy in my 20s.
This goes for my previous relationship, my job, my social life. Really. I can't remember much about my 20s at all in terms of highlights. It's like a black hole of time. Shocking.
-caring what others think.. Ie fitting in.
30s have picked up. With the end of my old relationship I turned things around. Started caring less. Started doing more. But that's only ramped up last 4 years.
Last 5 years positives:
-Moving to Wales instead of just staying put.
-Changing jobs again and again for better salary/conditions and realising I'll probably never love my career but it facilitates my life.
-Big one: Going on more holidays, the thing I love most
-Taking up kayaking/mtb and adrenaline sports
-Realising that people are most just acquaintances and not friends.. Big change here is it's OK. And I don't get sad if I lose a friend.. They probably weren't a friend.. I didn't lose them.
- Talking in a relationship about problems rather than burying them.
-Big one: Not giving a F about what other think... I play Dnd and I tell people about it.. Yes.. Even women! ... It goes further... If I want to dress up like my female fairy Dnd character? Yeah I'm gonna do it.
I never used to do what I wanted due to "fitting in" no more!
Why did I wear jeans for so long? I hate them. Roll on the leggings!
I've got a lot of time to make up. And do not want to end up like my parents wealthy and miserable (and their own fault).
Things to do.
-ways use work holiday for holiday. No more using holiday for "a day off"
-buying a van to go exploring
-hopefully emigration in a few years.
My big issue is I have a tendency to be "passive" and not chase what I want. And it's always work to keep out of this mindset.
I'm glad I've identified it and am making changes.
Regrets..
Big one is doing molecular biology at uni
I should have done engineering.. My life would be different
-Being too passive/shy in my 20s.
This goes for my previous relationship, my job, my social life. Really. I can't remember much about my 20s at all in terms of highlights. It's like a black hole of time. Shocking.
-caring what others think.. Ie fitting in.
30s have picked up. With the end of my old relationship I turned things around. Started caring less. Started doing more. But that's only ramped up last 4 years.
Last 5 years positives:
-Moving to Wales instead of just staying put.
-Changing jobs again and again for better salary/conditions and realising I'll probably never love my career but it facilitates my life.
-Big one: Going on more holidays, the thing I love most
-Taking up kayaking/mtb and adrenaline sports
-Realising that people are most just acquaintances and not friends.. Big change here is it's OK. And I don't get sad if I lose a friend.. They probably weren't a friend.. I didn't lose them.
- Talking in a relationship about problems rather than burying them.
-Big one: Not giving a F about what other think... I play Dnd and I tell people about it.. Yes.. Even women! ... It goes further... If I want to dress up like my female fairy Dnd character? Yeah I'm gonna do it.
I never used to do what I wanted due to "fitting in" no more!
Why did I wear jeans for so long? I hate them. Roll on the leggings!
I've got a lot of time to make up. And do not want to end up like my parents wealthy and miserable (and their own fault).
Things to do.
-ways use work holiday for holiday. No more using holiday for "a day off"
-buying a van to go exploring
-hopefully emigration in a few years.
My big issue is I have a tendency to be "passive" and not chase what I want. And it's always work to keep out of this mindset.
I'm glad I've identified it and am making changes.
Achievement is definitely over rated. I wanted to be self employed, we ended up with two businesses, money great, nobody to answer to great, stress bad, anxiety awful, unable to switch off common. We are back in employment after selling up and happy.
I wanted a place in the med, managed it, could never get over long enough to enjoy it, first few years fantastic then you realise all the other places you could be visiting, the same holiday over and over becomes boring, we actually sold up last year.
Advice would be to become debt free, enjoy your free time, you need enough money to go out and enjoy yourself, don’t work survive or buy the largest luxuries you can’t have time to enjoy
I wanted a place in the med, managed it, could never get over long enough to enjoy it, first few years fantastic then you realise all the other places you could be visiting, the same holiday over and over becomes boring, we actually sold up last year.
Advice would be to become debt free, enjoy your free time, you need enough money to go out and enjoy yourself, don’t work survive or buy the largest luxuries you can’t have time to enjoy
Soldato
Sometimes it’s good to have regrets, it keeps yourself in check… but at this moment of time I don’t have any.. all the so called mistakes and misfortune is what makes me, me.
As for dreams.. I plan to travel the world, if I did it earlier in life.. it may just have been a booze cruise, if I do it now; it may be rushed. I wanted to do it when I can take my time, visit all the back alleys and really take in the experience. This may be one long trip from one place to another or trips to each region then back home for a bit.. or just holidays to countries when the mood takes me. That’s for future me to decide.
As for dreams.. I plan to travel the world, if I did it earlier in life.. it may just have been a booze cruise, if I do it now; it may be rushed. I wanted to do it when I can take my time, visit all the back alleys and really take in the experience. This may be one long trip from one place to another or trips to each region then back home for a bit.. or just holidays to countries when the mood takes me. That’s for future me to decide.
Caporegime
- Joined
- 13 Nov 2006
- Posts
- 26,134
You're only 40. If you really want to do stuff you can. Life isn't over.
The question is, do you really want to do it? Really?
The question is, do you really want to do it? Really?
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I feel like I never fully committed to one single sport and was pretty good at several. Whilst this made me happy in terms of interest and social aspect, I feel like I probably could have been very, very good if I had committed to one of them. Football and snooker are probably the main two. I even used to Ice Skate as a kid and got offered coaching which I turned down as was too shy! Whenever I went go-karting I was always quickest of my friends. Things like that. But then...maybe I should not regret that I knuckled down and did ok academically. After all, being a successful pro sports person is rare AF I guess.
It hits a bit harder when you get to late thirties and beyond, as realistically there aren't many sports you can suddenly compete in as you will be at a disadvantage both mentally and physically due to age, with some exceptions. One is Golf, which I am getting in to more now.
It hits a bit harder when you get to late thirties and beyond, as realistically there aren't many sports you can suddenly compete in as you will be at a disadvantage both mentally and physically due to age, with some exceptions. One is Golf, which I am getting in to more now.
Just to add..
Rather than regretting anything, focus on what you do have, rather than on what you don't.
The later will always lead to some extent of misery.
I find self competition the best now.
I know I'll never be a pro kayaker. Or MTBer.
But I'm happy when I find a new place, do something I've never done before. And tbh.. Just being outside away from the day to day is a reward in itself.
Soldato
No regrets, I am grateful I'm still alive and mostly healthy after all these years. Anything else is a bonus.
A more pertinent question would be "am I willing to make the necessary sacrifice (e.g. time with family) to do so?”
E.g. is it worth gambling and potentially losing everything I have achieved for the possibility of achieving something different?l
To which the answer is definitely no.
Don't get me wrong, I'm proud of what I've achieved, I guess it's just musings on what could have been had different choices been made (but then as others have pointed out, could have quite easily turned out for the worse rather than better).
Yeah, they're good boys (said every parent ever
)The grass is always going to be greener. Neither of my brothers have kids yet, are quite a bit older than I was when we had our first, and I certainly wouldn't want to be running around after our 2 in 10 years time
Soldato
- Joined
- 22 Nov 2007
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- 4,209
is it just me or has no one else heard of Leprous?
Caporegime
- Joined
- 13 Nov 2006
- Posts
- 26,134
Why would it have to be gambling everything you have? Just to learn the guitar etc.A more pertinent question would be "am I willing to make the necessary sacrifice (e.g. time with family) to do so?”
E.g. is it worth gambling and potentially losing everything I have achieved for the possibility of achieving something different?l
To which the answer is definitely no.
Don't get me wrong, I'm proud of what I've achieved, I guess it's just musings on what could have been had different choices been made (but then as others have pointed out, could have quite easily turned out for the worse rather than better).
Yeah, they're good boys (said every parent ever
The grass is always going to be greener. Neither of my brothers have kids yet, are quite a bit older than I was when we had our first, and I certainly wouldn't want to be running around after our 2 in 10 years time
Soldato
Two healthy kids who have partners, mortgage paid off and my wife has ( so far ) resisted killing me , I have many things I'd like to change but not if it meant I'd lose what I'd achieved 
Soldato
No regrets, I’ve achieved everything I set out to really, perception of other people’s judgement is the real problem, ignore all that and plough on is your best bet.
Life can be tough and you have to focus on your goals.
Life can be tough and you have to focus on your goals.
Suspended
Regrets, I've had a few,
But then again too few to mention...
Hindsight is a wonderful thing but I have paid my way in life, kept the family in funds. I could have been richer if I'd wanted to work in Saudi or some other grotty spot. But I never did. I took a job in 1981 and although the company changed identity I was still there in 2017.
But then again too few to mention...
Hindsight is a wonderful thing but I have paid my way in life, kept the family in funds. I could have been richer if I'd wanted to work in Saudi or some other grotty spot. But I never did. I took a job in 1981 and although the company changed identity I was still there in 2017.
past experience isn't an indicator of future performance, but, you learn what makes you happy.
think you could add prequel of brexit to that list - shutting down easy (re-)relocation to europe, plus hi-tech companies that subsequently reduced activity in the UK - one door/horizon closes ....