Do you feel ashamed of your lack of achievements? What do you regret in life?

There really is nothing to gain from this exercise, unless it’s to identify something you want to do that you will actually want to go on to achieve. For example, there’s no point entertaining lusting over other women if you aren’t actually going to leave your wife… you need to put that stuff down or it’ll drive you loopy!

Life necessarily involves lots of missing out, which we all need to make peace with.

… but if I did have a regret, I would have loved to have had a career in music. But I never made it happen, and it never will happen, so… a big fat waste of time to think like that.
 
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Rroff said:
One thing I would change is having initially pursued a career in IT and found I don't enjoy it as a job and ruins something I enjoy as a hobby, and spent the time instead going into something I was good at which I would have enjoyed as a job.
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Yeah, same here (not IT though). I think some people are lucky to have always known what they want to do as a job but I never did. Or have a talent like being an artist that they can pursue as a career.

I still might change career but it probably wouldn’t be financially wise at approaching 42.

I have had some good achievements like being the first person in my family to go to university (yes, I graduated :p).
 
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I'm only 36 but i certainly could have achieved more, unfortunately allowed myself to be pinned down and never overcome a crippling fear of driving. So i never learnt. Which has led to me being very limited in my aspirations...... on the brightside, i have a beautiful wife and 3 wonderful kids and i own my own home. The job i have is ok pay but with my knowledge and passion for IT i could have doubled that easily. I do also enjoy the job i have, but i don't know if that's out of comfort rather than real enjoyment.

Overall, i can't complain with the life ive had or got, there's many with significantly worse situations. No point looking back and thinking "what if..."
 
One my biggest regrets in life was i started smoking at around 11 to 12 years old so around 42 years ago now and am really struggling to give it up :( :( :(

I feel cigarettes should have been banned years ago to stop even more kids from starting.
 
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chaparral said:
One my biggest regrets in life was i started smoking at around 11 to 12 years old so around 42 years ago and am still really struggling to give it up :( :( :(
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Only managed to get that monkey off my back this year. Even if you've failed at quiting before, there's never a better time than right now. Tried vaping, patches, mouth sprays etc? I'm trying to now quit vaping (only 1.5ml nicotine, so the lowest possible now) the hardest part is the habit rather than the nicotine i find.
 
I'm happy with my lot and content with my life.

I'd like to have more money for instance but not with the stress that comes as part of the deal in most jobs. I'm slightly envious of my school friends who had direction, I never did and still don't and simply drift along.
 
I really wanted to learn more languages and become a real polyglot but, as always, life got in the way. I still watch a few YT channels where "Westerners" visit various places around the world and amaze the locals by knowing the local language and I'd have loved to have been able to do that, rather than only knowing how to order a few beers in various ones instead.

For any "bigger" regrets, I'm happy with where my life is currently and if I changed something big (buying a house at 20, marrying a crazy GF etc) I wouldn't be in the same place or be the same person that I am now, so I feel like I can't have regrets over something which potentially could have had a major impact (positive/negative) on who/what I am now.
 
I wish I'd focused on a career more and done something more useful at uni, such as engineering. Given my upbringing though, I did well just to get to uni and have a semi decent job.

I've come to realize that 90% of people I know who are successful and creative either had a good, stable upbringing with parents who nourished their creativity and challenged them, or it was the complete opposite and they had major childhood trauma that built huge resilience and determination.

I just had very hands off parents who never pushed me to achieve anything, which I blame for my lack of motivation!
 
I turned 40 last month, I only have a few regrets but nothing major.

1. I should have not stayed in my job for nearly 10 years, I got too comfortable with zero progression.
2. I should have moved from the UK in my 20's or even teens to learn another language.

But in my mid 30's at the time, it was never too late and I moved to mainland Europe. Its been nearly 5 years, earning more money than in the UK, moved up in my career and mortgage paid off.

Advise I can give. Look after your body when you are younger and it will look after you when you are older. Because you are no good to anyone if you are laying in a hospital bed or early grave.
 
It's a weird one. If I had gotten my life into order in my 20s/30s I'd probably still be living In the UK. Probably married to a university gf, kids, the lot.
Career wise if I'd stuck with the oilfield who knows we're I'd be with the way the industry is headed. A good uni friend who's still in it has had a few rough years because of low demand.

Well none of that happened and now I'm where I am. Sitting on the bog at 330am. Cat meowing at me for food, wife snoring occasionally in the background,, peed off that I need to get up in 2h to go to my very lowbrow job......and tbh I'm pretty happy and ok with it all. :p

I'm lucky I had the opportunity to move and start again, so to speak. I think I'd probably be both physically and mentally awful if I'd kept on living my London lifestyle.

regrets? Well I'll probably regret not having kids. But as of now Im still not interested, I'm content being the English uncle to 2 great kids.

I've always gone with the flow. Crazy how I ended up where I am.

 
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Nitefly said:
There really is nothing to gain from this exercise, unless it’s to identify something you want to do that you will actually want to go on to achieve. For example, there’s no point entertaining lusting over other women if you aren’t actually going to leave your wife… you need to put that stuff down or it’ll drive you loopy!

Life necessarily involves lots of missing out, which we all need to make peace with.

… but if I did have a regret, I would have loved to have had a career in music. But I never made it happen, and it never will happen, so… a big fat waste of time to think like that.
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Well, that's true.

I often think that going back in time wouldn't actually make any difference. Even if you could change time, you can't change yourself. You are likely to make the same mistakes again. The only time that's wrong, I suppose, is when there was a pivotal moment in life where you know full well you made the wrong decision, but even then, you will probably just make a fresh pile of bad decisions after that point!!!!
 
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