Do you have family members you just don't understand? Or even like?

I have absolutely no affinity to my mother’s side of the family, they have never felt like family to me, just people I happen to know. Being around them was always uncomfortable, but with my mum now passed it’s even worse. I’ve only seen any of them twice in the last 3 years.

My brother is also estranged from me and my family after he became a pain to deal with after my mum’s passing. Nothing was “right” for him, and the final straw came almost 18 months after her death when he still hadn’t collected any of his belongings from the family home (that I’d bought him out of). Not seen or spoken to him for 2 years now, and had to throw most of his crap away.
 
Ace Modder said:
I have not spoken to my sister for around 15 years, because she is selfish and caused a lot of problems for herself and others.
She had a child at quite a young age (19) and she didn't know who the Father was, she got 5 DNA tests done for Fathers all came back negative.

When her son was 2 years old, she started a relationship with a guy who social services were following, and they advised my sister that she was not able to continue a relationship with him because she had a young child, he was a convicted child molester who had abused a young child in his own family. My sister decided to continue a relationship with this person, after telling scoial services she would end it, they found out and gave her a few more chances to end it, she didn't. Her son was put into mine and my wife's care as we didn't want him going into the foster system, we ended up Fostering him for 10+ years.

My sister caused so many problems for us when we fostered her son, because she was jealous that we had her son. It got that bad that my wife worked at a school as a teaching assistant and my sister sent pornograph images "presumably" downloaded from the internal of some weird lesbian images but with no faces and wrote a letter to the school claiming it was my wife in the images, of course it wasn't. The letter was not signed but when the police got involved they obtained some of her handwiriting and there was some similiarities in the writing style but she tried to mask her writing and it was enough that the CPS and police said they could not take further action even though they believed it was her doing. Other minor things happened over the years also, but this was the worst of them all.

My sister also stole money from my mother towards the end of my mothers life (my mother had MS and was in & out hospital a lot for the last 2 years of her life) My isster stole money from her, and she even open credit accounts with various calatogues, credit cards etc all in my mothers name without anybody knowing until my mother died. That was a mess to sort, and actually my Dad had to pay most of these debts as it was nigh on impossible to prove they were fraudulent credit accounts.

My sister I believe is into drugs and has never worked in her life and just sponges from the tax payer.

I have not seen or spoken to her in over 15 years now and this is how I wish for it to stay.
Click to expand...

You almost wrote about my sister, minus the drugs, unfortunately I didn't get to look after my niece as the services were just happy not to confront my sister and have now caused my niece who was bright/smart to regress and suffer mental problems from all of her games and situations she has forced her to be in.

One thing I will say, the laws need changing with regards to custody and children's well-being in general.
I found social totally unhelpful, even our lass who is a trained social worker ( now in a different role ) was furious with them and complained.


Hate her so much for what she's done to my niece and family in general.
 
I'm estranged from my Mum (her choice) after she was caught out lying about me and my fiancée after she'd broken her hip and to save face she told me unless I admitted to the rest of the family the things I hadn't done then she never wanted to hear from me ever again.

If that was the only horrific thing this woman had done to me including stealing my inheritance, never mind anyone else I'd have been really torn up over it but honestly life is just a lot more peaceful without her in it. I'll be sad when she's gone but it's more for the relationship we should have had.

As for my siblings, I don't have anything to do with my brother, he's very much the Mummies boy and cut me off when she did. I get on okay with my two sisters now but we're very different people.

It's sad, I wish I had family on my Dad's side but there's nobody. The family on.my mothers side are all messed up with the majority not being good people at all.
 
Yeah my brother is a first class ******* always has been, never want anything to do with him ever! My sister is okay I guess, although she'll always put friends before family. Quite a strange bunch! I have my family, wife, kids and that's all I care about.

As for my mother she's shacked up with some knobhead before my dad's ashes where cold. She couldn't wait to sell all my dad's stuff after he died. We still speak but it's not the same.
 
Last edited:
alchal said:
You almost wrote about my sister, minus the drugs, unfortunately I didn't get to look after my niece as the services were just happy not to confront my sister and have now caused my niece who was bright/smart to regress and suffer mental problems from all of her games and situations she has forced her to be in.

One thing I will say, the laws need changing with regards to custody and children's well-being in general.
I found social totally unhelpful, even our lass who is a trained social worker ( now in a different role ) was furious with them and complained.


Hate her so much for what she's done to my niece and family in general.
Click to expand...
Sorry to hear buddy, sounds like they really failed your niece, luckily for us my nephew is a nice well rounded young man (20 now!). He is an uni studying English Literature and his aim is to move to Japan to become a teacher of English there, in January he went to Toyoko for a 10 day holiday on his own to actually see if he likes Japan, he works part time at a pub around his uni studied and saved up to make the trip. He definitely wants to move there after the holiday.

I'm proud to say that my wife and I helped bring him up and we set him on the right path in life.
 
Ace Modder said:
Sorry to hear buddy, sounds like they really failed your niece, luckily for us my nephew is a nice well rounded young man (20 now!). He is an uni studying English Literature and his aim is to move to Japan to become a teacher of English there, in January he went to Toyoko for a 10 day holiday on his own to actually see if he likes Japan, he works part time at a pub around his uni studied and saved up to make the trip. He definitely wants to move there after the holiday.

I'm proud to say that my wife and I helped bring him up and we set him on the right path in life.
Click to expand...

Glad to hear, warms the heart when kids turn out well when coming from bad backgrounds.

Sounds fantastic, head screwed on, with goals and moving to Japan to top it off, looks like and amazing country to be in.

My niece is Japanese mad, she's just turned 15 , hopefully she does ok at school then we just have to wait until she's old enough to make her own decisions, we told her we would take her to Japan when she's 'free' .
 
Last edited:
My sister decided to stop talking to me several years ago, following my mum meeting with a financial adviser. During that meeting, when he asked about assets, I pointed out my mum owns a house (which my sister has been living in, rent-free, for about 15 years). I don't think she liked that as she may have (somehow) assumed she was entitled to a free house.

Since that day, she has blanked me.

I continued to send her (and daughter) birthday cards etc for years. I've stopped doing that now.

I'm hurt by this. We used to be very close. I'd honestly welcome her shouting at me to let off steam- anything would be better than this.

This has also had an effect on my mum and other relatives.
 
Shame to see that most families can be destroyed over the possibility of a couple thousand £'s. Very much like how @potatolord has described, I have seen that time and time again and its just savage and frankly takes a giant **** over any relationship with the mum/dad and other family members.
 
My wife also has 1 sister and 3 brothers. She doesn't talk to her youngest brother who was a bit of an idiot. He did have a major work accident and was awarded over a million £ as compensation.

He was always the type who was getting into trouble and he is now in prison, for killing his own daughter who was aprox 1 year old because he got angry and threw her across a room, my wife doesn't want anything to do with him. He has bought his loyality with some of his family, by buying them a house or paying for holidays etc, whilst he is in prison using his compensation money.
He has tried to reach out to my wife (his sister) and tried to offer her money to make her have a relationship with him, yet he doesn't accept that how he acts is wrong etc, my wife has made it clear that she is not interested in his money and morals are far more important than any £50k handout he was trying to give her.
 
Jack_green said:
I don't speak to any family. Much happier now.

My mother keeps calling and leaving a message I just deleted it.
Click to expand...

My mother is usually more insidious than that, I'll occasionally get a text that will ask about other people but never about me that gets deleted. But more often than not she whinges to my sister in New Zealand about how much she misses me and the kids etc but claims it was me that cut her off. So when I speak to my sister there's a 50/50 chance she'll try and start the "can you just move past it with Mum and apologise" conversation. To which I respond with an absolutely ******* not! And ask her to please stay out of it.
 
sidimmu said:
Shame to see that most families can be destroyed over the possibility of a couple thousand £'s. Very much like how @potatolord has described, I have seen that time and time again and its just savage and frankly takes a giant **** over any relationship with the mum/dad and other family members.
Click to expand...

I had a similar thing with my dad's estate. There were 5 of his kids and he originally gave 50% to me as I was still living with him whilst the rest were all established. (There is 20 years between the children with my dad's first wife and I am an only child to his second wife). 3 out of the 4 were fine but one who wasn't even my dad's blood was all too keen on kicking me out of the house asap and getting it sold when he died. I was only 20 at the time. He wasn't even included on my dad's will originally as they hadn't seen each other for a good 10 years. It wasn't until a milestone birthday before he died that he showed up and things all changed.

I ended up with 40% and the others all got 15% each. I should have been the one who was annoyed because I lost out on 10% but I was still grieving the loss of my dad. I couldn't really care.
 
Last edited:
adam cool dude said:
I had a similar thing with my dad's estate. There were 5 of his kids and he originally gave 50% to me as I was still living with him whilst the rest were all established. (There is 20 years between the children with my dad's first wife and I am an only child to his second wife). 3 out of the 4 were fine but one who wasn't even my dad's blood was all too keen on kicking me out of the house asap and getting it sold when he died. I was only 20 at the time. He wasn't even included on my dad's will originally as they hadn't seen each other for a good 10 years. It wasn't until a milestone birthday before he died that he showed up and things all changed.

I ended up with 40% and the others all got 15% each. I should have been the one who was annoyed because I lost out on 10% but I was still grieving the loss of my dad. I couldn't really care.
Click to expand...

I never wanted my sister out, or the house sold from under her. I don't expect her to pay rent, either- that's my mum's choice.

She's just doing this to be hurtful.

She's actually hurting herself now. My auntie (mum's sister) is so annoyed about it all that she took my sister (and her daughter) out of her will. My sister refused to go to my other auntie's funeral recently as I was going. That didn't go down well with my cousins, for obvious reasons.

Everyone is losing, that's what gets me. It's just needless.
 
Efour said:
When my dad died my aunt, his sister. Tried to rinse my mum for everything and anything she could. Completely unemotional just tried picking the bones for anything.... Never seen her since the funeral, or sadly my two cousins, because of that **** she pulled. My dad was the only one of 3 siblings that amounted to anything. She was a complete tramp, 3 kids 3 different dads etc etc. you can imagine the type.
I don't hate her but I did at the time.
Click to expand...
Surprised she would be entitled to anything, unless it was listed in the will? Normally everything is left to Wife until they pop off.
 
Ace Modder said:
My wife also has 1 sister and 3 brothers. She doesn't talk to her youngest brother who was a bit of an idiot. He did have a major work accident and was awarded over a million £ as compensation.

He was always the type who was getting into trouble and he is now in prison, for killing his own daughter who was aprox 1 year old because he got angry and threw her across a room, my wife doesn't want anything to do with him. He has bought his loyality with some of his family, by buying them a house or paying for holidays etc, whilst he is in prison using his compensation money.
He has tried to reach out to my wife (his sister) and tried to offer her money to make her have a relationship with him, yet he doesn't accept that how he acts is wrong etc, my wife has made it clear that she is not interested in his money and morals are far more important than any £50k handout he was trying to give her.
Click to expand...

That's so sad. What a piece of ****.
 
Grandfather on my fathers side and his wife. Treated my father appallingly as a boy basically treated him like a slave almost had the socials called on them at one point but he was a copper so could get away with it. Found out much later my grandmother desperately wanted him after they split but he got custody again because a copper, more out of spite I suspect than any affection. Never did understand why my parents wanted to be friendly with him in later life they didn't like me basically ignored me whenever they visited and didn't speak a word to me some imagined slight apparently. When they died my father was emotional but I couldn't drag up any sentiment whatsoever.

Nutty667 said:
Surprised she would be entitled to anything, unless it was listed in the will? Normally everything is left to Wife until they pop off.
Click to expand...
She likely isn't, but that doesn't stop people trying sometimes people will just pay up to get rid of them.
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom