Does anyone else have no friends?

Richdog said:
Depends what I define as a friend? Come on man don't be so intentionally dense. I define a good friend by the same criteria that most other sensible people do. Loyal, trustworthy, good to be around. Who understand and accept your flaws and like you regardless.

That's a friend. Anything else are social acquaintances, which is also fine and fills a social need, but they are not the people you go to when the poo hits the fan.

Your ability to find and retain these people is dependent on your own character and social skills, as well as the effort you put in to maintain those friendships.
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Intentionally dense? :confused:

I said I have 2 friends who as you said above, people I can rely on if it hits the fan.

I used to have 3 but one is dead. Funny thing is my daughter was born the day he was buried, so I could not attend his funeral. :(
 
I have about 6 or 7 really close friends from school and about 5 from university (I'm 41 so all been friends a long time). We're not in each other's pockets as we are spread around a bit but always good to see them.

I am not the type to text, phone, email for no reason so not in constant touch. I consider one of the people I work with a good friend too.

I can't be bothered making local friends really. My wife is quite sociable so I do sometimes have to go to local things. Plenty of nice people but to be honest I'm not very interested in forming new friendships with them. I'll have a laugh on a night out but loads of the dads from school get together for regular drinks, nights out playing table tennis, golf and so on. I can not be bothered with all that. I'm not interested in watching other people play sport or talking about it.
 
itchy said:
Intentionally dense? :confused:
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Yes, because in the context of the thread and my first post it should be obvious what I mean by a friend. It is pretty obvious that the 'hundreds' of acquaintances you have are not friends in the intended sense of this thread.

We are talking about good friends.

itchy said:
I used to have 3 but one is dead. Funny thing is my daughter was born the day he was buried, so I could not attend his funeral. :(
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Im sure that given the circumstances he would not have minded, in fact being a good friend he would have been overjoyed for you.
 
Back when i was at high school i had a TON of friends,One id consider a brother,We were solid,Not only were we together at school all week but usually on week ends too,Snooker,Play basketball,Console..going out etc,Some of the best memories from been a teenager.

But my parents ended up relocating quite far away and of course i had to go with them due to my age (around 15-16) i lost contact with a lot of them,Then of course i left school and got a job and time flys so fast i never really accumulated that many friends again,But these days i tend to just enjoy having the company of family without all the hassle & drama you can sometimes get from friends.

But like Richdog said,Who can you really consider "true friends"..the ones that will have your back no matter what,I couldn't think of anyone that REALLY would if crap hit the fan for me.

I dont consider any of my work colleges "friends" either.
 
Friends not many.
When it really bit me in the ass was when me and my ex broke up. I had none and nothing to do. Only family for support.
I had no one. I felt isolated.

But I don't really like many people.
At work most are too corporate, you know, the ones that come fun boring and would rather discuss wine than climb a tree.
I live in an area I don't want to make where I can't do the hobbies I love, so not many people on that wavelength either.

Now I have a couple of good friends and that is enough.
I don't like big friend networks as I'm introverted, and don't like most people. But I do know I need some friends.
 
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Friends are not the same as when i had friends in my youth,always always had friends round my mums house,they would just come in for a chat and a drink and we would go out,this was 7 days a week.

Present day,cant remember the last time someone just come round for a chat a dn a drink without a invite.
 
I'm pretty social and get on with everyone at work, neighbours etc. but my only true and indeed best friend is my wife. My choice, works for us and I don't feel I'm missing anything.
 
vincent1989 said:
It's a bit of a a male thing isn't it? I don't really 'do' company either.
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No, it's not a 'male thing'. Being social is a natural human trait.

BigT said:
I'm pretty social and get on with everyone at work, neighbours etc. but my only true and indeed best friend is my wife. My choice, works for us and I don't feel I'm missing anything.
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Then I hope for your sake it lasts.
 
Richdog said:
No, it's not a 'male thing'. Being social is a natural human trait.
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Who said anything about social? I imagine most in here are more than sociable in the required setting. We're on about actual friends not just fake facebook friends or work acquaintances.

I think in that regard it is very typical of men to have none or few friends and I think that is natural, look at almost any other mammal.
 
Got a handful of proper friends that I'd do pretty much anything for but I do enjoy my own company and like to be left alone a lot. I'm very sociable but find it gets a bit tiring so go out a bit less these days.
 
vincent1989 said:
Who said anything about social? I imagine most in here are more than sociable in the required setting. We're on about actual friends not just fake facebook friends or work acquaintances.

I think in that regard it is very typical of men to have none or few friends and I think that is natural, look at almost any other mammal.
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Dear Lord. Yeah, because "naturally social" in the respect of anthropology of course means 'Facebook' and 'work acquaintances'. It's really no wonder that some people have no friends.

PS: there is also a great difference between "no friends" and "few friends". One indicates social ability and emotional intelligence and the other, well, doesn't.
 
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I don't think I really have anyone I'd consider a true friend any more, I used to have quite a few, but these days I simply can't be dealing with the inevitable time they let you down :p Perfectly happy with my own company anyway and I've always been fiercely independent to the point where I hate anyone doing things "for me". That used to cause a lot of friction with my GF but she's since realised it's nothing against her, I just don't like burdening other people with my problems when they have enough of their own!!
 
I'm still in contact with friends from uni and school but people change over time and inevitably I'm not as close to many of them as I used to be.

Also, holding down a successful career and spending time with my wife and kids leaves no time to develop friendships in the same way as I used to be able to.
 
In a world were we have never been so connected we've never been so far apart. I think it comes from how deconstructed social interaction has become that we seem to think just concentrating on one small element of it is sufficient to satisfy the need, its clearly not.
 
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