Freaking out!!!

[Xordium]

Castiel when you expose anyone, and I mean anyone, to a battery of tests you will find something wrong with them. People think they are all "normal" inside but mostly we are not. There are people reading these forums who have one kidney and don't know about it.

(Sure they didn't say papilla - it would make more sense)

 

[Castiel]

Castiel when you expose anyone, and I mean anyone, to a battery of tests you will find something wrong with them. People think they are all "normal" inside but mostly we are not. There are people reading these forums who have one kidney and don't know about it.

(Sure they didn't say papilla - it would make more sense)

Yeah I think it is Papilla. I'll find out in the letter proper. The Internet is useless as it just talks about cancers of the kidney in relation to filling defects, most of them not very good. So I'll try to ignore all that.

 

[Angilion]

Hope it gets sorted, I have a Ultrasound next Wednesday for a lump where you don't want to be finding them as a man and the anxiety is awful. It's the not knowing that is the worst part.

I was in the same situation and I agree. The GP told me that the evidence indicated that it was almost certainly a harmless lump, which is apparently quite common. The urologist told me the same thing, with diagrams and a detailed explanation. The surgeon told me the same thing as well, when he came round to the ward for a reassuring chat before the surgery (I had pain as well, so it ended up with them cutting me open for a good look). Which was all well and good, but I still didn't know and, as you say, that's the worst part.

It was a harmless lump, unsurprisingly. They never did find the cause of the pain.

 

[Xordium]

Yeah I think it is Papilla. I'll find out in the letter proper. The Internet is useless as it just talks about cancers of the kidney in relation to filling defects, most of them not very good. So I'll try to ignore all that.

Stop googling! You are doing yourself no favours. To date you've picked out the worst diagnosis possible even though you displayed none of the other expected symptoms, examined the efficacy of scans based upon an article from K.Faisal (who are that good they have to poach staff! and not the first centre one would look to for stellar literature), and now again you've gone back to your worst fear.

Alternatively, look back at basic GCSE level biology. Sterile fluid is filtered by the nephron, collected, quickly passed to the bladder and smoothly passed outside the body. Any impediment in an adequate draining system will decrease the smooth flow and therefore increase the chance of any bacteria present hanging around longer than would normally thereby increasing the chance of infection.

Now I am not saying that is the case that is for the people looking after you but if you are going to keep nosing around this topic do it in a logical fashion and use the findings you have been given. You have had a multitude of tests of which none have indicated anything serious. They did find an infection and they have found altered anatomy that may slightly increase the chance of infection over a lifetime. Which one do you think is the more likely answer?

You may also want to consider whether your fears are actually related to a transference from your previous illness and whilst SSRI may not be the actual answer some kind of therapy may well be in order to actually face these demons. You need to have a good think and examine whether you are really scared of cancer or scared of hospitalisation based upon previous experiences. The former will most likely be removed by logical examination the latter won't and will need addressing. You will go into hospital again at some point in your life that is the nature of growing old today.

 

[IvanDobskey]

Try not to worry too much. They have to rule everything out.

 

[Felon]

Yeah I think it is Papilla. I'll find out in the letter proper. The Internet is useless as it just talks about cancers of the kidney in relation to filling defects, most of them not very good. So I'll try to ignore all that.

STOP DIAGNOSING YOURSELF VIA GOOGLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I will also add, that when you get with a specialist (your urologist in this case) you're dealing with a totally different animal, than a GP - you're been seen too by somebody who is an expert and who has dedicated their lives to these sorts of problems.

Listen to what he says, don't listen to the internet.

 

[Castiel]

Stop googling! You are doing yourself no favours. To date you've picked out the worst diagnosis possible even though you displayed none of the other expected symptoms, examined the efficacy of scans based upon an article from K.Faisal (who are that good they have to poach staff! and not the first centre one would look to for stellar literature), and now again you've gone back to your worst fear.

Alternatively, look back at basic GCSE level biology. Sterile fluid is filtered by the nephron, collected, quickly passed to the bladder and smoothly passed outside the body. Any impediment in an adequate draining system will decrease the smooth flow and therefore increase the chance of any bacteria present hanging around longer than would normally thereby increasing the chance of infection.

Now I am not saying that is the case that is for the people looking after you but if you are going to keep nosing around this topic do it in a logical fashion and use the findings you have been given. You have had a multitude of tests of which none have indicated anything serious. They did find an infection and they have found altered anatomy that may slightly increase the chance of infection over a lifetime. Which one do you think is the more likely answer?

You may also want to consider whether your fears are actually related to a transference from your previous illness and whilst SSRI may not be the actual answer some kind of therapy may well be in order to actually face these demons. You need to have a good think and examine whether you are really scared of cancer or scared of hospitalisation based upon previous experiences. The former will most likely be removed by logical examination the latter won't and will need addressing. You will go into hospital again at some point in your life that is the nature of growing old today.

I'm not worried about hospitalisation or going into one. I'm just worried because I don't know what's going on. For example, they didn't actually find an infection as the urine samples didn't show one, however thus far they have no other explanation so that's what they are assuming. Equally the urologist said that the kidney is most likely to be something that is normal for me and not related to the bladder problem.

It's simply the not knowing and I while I admit I am very anxious, extremely so, I don't feel I have any underlying fear...other than what I am immediately stressed about.

I am listening to the urologist, although I cannot help worry about the differentials no matter how unlikely they might be at this point. I feel the fact I can't completely get rid of this infection as yet is also not helping my anxiousness.

 

[Xordium]

For example, they didn't actually find an infection as the urine samples didn't show one, however thus far they have no other explanation so that's what they are assuming.

The efficacy of the nitrofurantoin would substantiate their assumption don't you think? Stress in itself will lower your immune system, as I am sure you are aware. You need to do something to keep you busy start Game of Thrones from scratch reading for the new season. Something like that.

 

[Castiel]

The efficacy of the nitrofurantoin would substantiate their assumption don't you think? Stress in itself will lower your immune system, as I am sure you are aware. You need to do something to keep you busy start Game of Thrones from scratch reading for the new season. Something like that.

You are right. The antibiotics are seemingly working, I still feel a bit uncomfortable down below, not all the time. I have started drinking camomile tea with a teaspoon of D Mannose in it as well, as a friend says she takes that for her cystitis and it works wonders. It can hurt so it's worth a shot.

The most debilitating thing is the anxiety, and I really do not want to become dependent on antidepressants. Sertriline just made me want to do myself in so the doc took me straight off it. I do have some oxazepram if I need it but again if rather not.

It helps just to talk on here about it as well.

 

[Noxia]

I was in the same situation and I agree. The GP told me that the evidence indicated that it was almost certainly a harmless lump, which is apparently quite common. The urologist told me the same thing, with diagrams and a detailed explanation. The surgeon told me the same thing as well, when he came round to the ward for a reassuring chat before the surgery (I had pain as well, so it ended up with them cutting me open for a good look). Which was all well and good, but I still didn't know and, as you say, that's the worst part.

It was a harmless lump, unsurprisingly. They never did find the cause of the pain.

The doctor didn't think there was anything even there. Said it felt a bit rough and wasn't very forthcoming with the ultrasound. He asked me what I thought it was and my reply was "well it's a lump on a testicle there's only one thing I think it is".
It is really small though, talking smaller than a grain of rice so hopefully that will work for me.

Castiel, sorry to add my tale of woe on your thread, yours sounds a lot worse than what I'm currently experiencing (which is nothing except worry). Anxiety is awful though. I didn't know it could manifest itself as physical pain which is why I thought I was having a heart attack on Boxing Day. I never even knew or thought I suffered from it but everything pointed to an attack possibly triggered by the lump incident which was discovered a few days prior.
I hope it subsides when this concludes for better or worse anyway. Having anxiety about anxiety is a vicious circle and something I feel is totally misunderstood by anyone who hasn't suffered it.

 

[Xordium]

/snip

You could always have a chat with your pharmacist before trying "traditional" approaches and they could advise you of any contraindications etc.

 

[Castiel]

You could always have a chat with your pharmacist before trying "traditional" approaches and they could advise you of any contraindications etc.

I spoke to the pharmacist in the hospital and she told me that D Mannose is a simple sugar that doesn't interact with anything. Apparently the bacteria that attach itself to your bladder wall would rather attach to the sugar and so get flushed out. Whether it helps it not I don't know, but it can't hurt me and it makes me feel like I'm doing something I suppose.

 

[do_ron_ron]

This isn't a medical thread as I have seen a physician.

Late Sunday night I went to the toilet as usual and found that I was urinating blood...this went on for a few hours pretty much every few minutes or so. I phoned 111 (which wasn't too much help tbh) who told me to just see my GP within 24 hours. Anyway this went on, getting worse with pain when I urinated so my wife called 111 again. This time (5am) they referred me to the out of hours Dr at our local A&E, who done some dip urine tests, which were inconclusive, so she sent it off to the lab.

Anyway she gave me antibiotics, said it was probably a urinary tract infection and it will clear up in a few days.

So here we are a few days later, and sure enough, the bleeding stopped shortly after beginning the antibiotics, the pain is almost gone as well. All well and good....

Or so I thought.

I call the doctor this afternoon for the results to the urine test, the receptionist said the results showed my urine tested normal and no further action was necessary...I though this was strange because if it was normal, why was I bleeding?

A call to the actual doctor and he tells me that because there was no infection I will have to go for a series of tests, cytoscopy, CT and so on on my bladder and kidneys. These should be arranged within the next fortnight.

So here we are, I am pretty worried tbh...doctor said not to be, as it could be just a kidney stone (I have no other symptoms) or a burst blood vessel, due to my age it unlikely to be bladder cancer...hopefully it's nothing serious but as one of my closest friends is dying from bladder cancer I'm sure you can imagine, only the worst is going through my head right now.

As I said, I'm not after medical advice, just a place to vent really.

I have been in a similar situation and did not want to bother A&E so I phoned the helpline and like you was told to go to my doc. I did go to A&E hours later and was told by the doc that I should have went to A&E immediately as older men do not normally get infection or urinate blood.

Mine turned out to be a very enlarged prostate after lots and lots of tests and I now get a six-month PSA protein test.

It is at times like this that you are really glad to have the NHS. Best of luck.

 

[Xordium]

I think the best thing you can whilst you wait is to ask your wife to supervise your internet access.

In relation to the pharmacist comment I was more thinking of something else you may be advised to try by 'helpful' people.

 

[Castiel]

I think the best thing you can whilst you wait is to ask your wife to supervise your internet access.

Haha. I don't know how she could do that, but I am trying to limit myself.

In relation to the pharmacist comment I was more thinking of something else you may be advised to try by 'helpful' people.

Don't worry, I'm not going to start things like St Johns Wort or any herbal remedy that might have side effects. I'll stick to what the Dr prescribes.

 

[Ayahuasca]

Using google to check symptoms is the worst thing you can do, I done the same when I had a scare with my heart, you think it will make you feel better but you come away thinking you have something severely wrong. I'd basically convinced myself my heart was going to fail which in turn gave me anxiety which meant even getting out of bed became a struggle as I would be feeling for my heart rate increase or feeling it pump, any twinge, ache or slight pain would then add to the anxiety. Had an EKG doctor said it was perfect and I'm awaiting blood test results but I think I would still like to see a cardiologist to rule everything out.

I pretty much spent 2 weeks after it happened though bed bound, uninterested in everything, constantly feeling and checking my pulse and had that feeling of dread or that you are about to die at any moment, which are classic anxiety symptoms. I can understand exactly what you're going through and that's why I've said try not to let it take over you as it basically stops you functioning.

It's only the last few days I've started feeling a bit more "normal".

 

[James J]

Good luck mate. I know just how bad anxiety can affect you. I really wish you well, update us.



The urologist seemed pretty confident that the bladder is an infection albeit a rather hard to find and stubborn one and the 'filling defect' in my kidney is what he called a 'variant of normal'. I was very impressed that he called me back after first telling me (he called me in the first place just so I didn't panic unduly when getting a surgery letter in the post) because he thought I sounded so anxious the first time.

That's great news about your tests though Rotty. Long may it continue.



Over the last 6 years or so this is the third abdominal CT Scan I've had, (they don't want to do anymore if they can help it for some time) the last one was about two years ago. All the others were for very specific things to do with injury and nothing untoward was ever found (other than what they were looking for) this was my first with contrast though, and it was just the small bit of the right kidney that didn't fill with dye they want to look at. I would imagine if there was a tumor it would have shown up on the normal ct scan they did first and/or the sonogram they also did which was clear.



This is what someone else told me. If they had any real suspicions of cancer in my bladder for example they would have taken a biopsy in the first cystoscopy. He did ask me if I wanted him to take one anyway at the time, I asked him what he would do in my position and he said no, he would just have another look in a months time. Obviously now he will do that at the same time as poking the camera in my kidney. Cytology and kidney function blood tests were both normal last week.

Yeah in diagnostic cytology you can easily identify malignant cells, even if they are very few in number. The lab I work for gets loads of renal and urology samples in per week, with the renal ones being a nightmare from our point of view for far too many reasons to list lol.

 

[Castiel]

So I got a copy of the letter they sent to my GP today which said my CT scan showed a small filling defect in my right renal pelvis which needs further characterisation we will keep you (GP) informed as to his progress. So I'm having a GA Cystoscopy plus retrograde study(?) plus right rigid and flexible ureteroscopy.

I have no idea what retrograde study means.

No mention of cancer or anything in particular to be honest, so still don't know what to think.

 

[Castiel]

Bit of an update.

Had my pre op assessment today and had a chat with the urology nursing team. As some of my symptoms have 'changed' for want of a better word, the current treatment is going to be another course (4 weeks) of antibiotics for what appears to be a prostrate infection or prostatitis as the other two courses of antibiotics obviously were doing their job but it was explained to me that prostate infection can be very stubborn to reach and my current symptoms are indicative of it. More reassurances from the urology nursing team, even going so far as to show me all my medical notes to assure me that cancer isn't mentioned and that as far as the nursing team is concerned anyway the operation is to characterise what the urologist feels is an abberant papilla in the kidney which seems to be recommended procedure. The op isn't going to be until March at the earliest it seems.

Some good news on the psychological front is that I seem to be getting to grips with the anxiety, keeping it managed with camomile tea, exercise and classical music.

 

[LockyOK]

Some good news on the psychological front is that I seem to be getting to grips with the anxiety, keeping it managed with camomile tea, exercise and classical music.

Good news!

More detail on the choice of classical music absolutely essential!

Good luck, stay positive.