Girlfriend wishes to contribute to my mortgage

Kinda covered already but OP's gf is currently getting a great financial deal paying just £100/month rent for a property that sounds like it's worth a lot more than that. She is currently free to invest the £45k + shortfall of mortgage payments how she wishes.

She wants to sacrifice that to have a £45k interest in the house plus share of future mortgage payments. Unless property prices rise considerably more than the market is currently expecting, this is not a sensible thing to do from a purely financial perspective as you would likely get better returns elsewhere.
 
christmascake said:
Hello. Girlfriend in question here. I wanted to add in my point of view into this thread.


1. I do not want children, and can't quite explain how strongly I feel about this. I'm not maternal in the slightest, and I truly cannot see this ever changing. I have 3 nieces that I love, but that is about it. This being said, it is solid advice to OP that when he/we discuss with a solicitor, we take this into account incase circumstances change in the future.
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Good sense. Some people change their minds about wanting to have children as they get older, some people don't.

christmascake said:
2. I do not want to get married. Again, something people seem to have missed on this post. I struggle to understand the points of 'careful, she's trying to steal half of your house, so to solve this problem you should get married'. Well - I do not want to steal OP's house, but if I did, getting married and then shortly divorced would be a sure way to get this done, right?
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Yes. Some people seem to be replying as if they didn't know that divorce existed.

christmascake said:
3. I almost had a house deposit saved when I met OP, 3 years ago. (I was around £3k short - still saving at the time). My plan always was to buy my own house, but when OP had his house and we saw a future together, it no longer made sense for me to buy my own, have a mortgage each, and then not be able to afford to move in together / have two houses to sell if we bought one jointly. We made the joint decision for me to move in to OP's home, and form a cohabitation agreement to protect OP's property against any risk - should the relationship not work.

4. My motivations - we see a future together, why wouldn't we jointly pay the mortgage, be debt free in <5 years, and then start saving cash? OP would be mortgage free by 40, myself by 30, and start investing at this point. Most financial advisors would say pay debts first before investing. The difference of 1-2% in a high interest savings account isn't worth being in debt for triple the time you need to be. Yes, overpayment fees will apply, but we'll be saving circa. £50k in interest on the mortgage. The overpayment fees are pennies in comparison. I also want to invest in something myself - I entertained a BTL, but the tax/hassle made me deem it not suitable. I entertained a high interest savings account - but I struggle to justify saving when OP has a mortgage, which we could clear in less than 1/4 of the time, if I started contributing.

5. The point of the original post was not to ask if OP should trust me, it was to ask what else he needs to do to protect himself IF the relationship did not work. As mentioned by OP, we both have a lot of cash at risk and want to ensure that IF anything were to happen with the relationship, neither one of us gets shafted. Everything commenters have mentioned (about risk to OP's house if I start paying) is the exact reason we are going to a solicitor - to make sure this cannot happen, under any circumstances. I'm not overly bothered if I ultimately do not start paying into the mortgage - if OP decides against this, I would understand, and look into other investment opportunities. I just think it makes sense to join together on it and get debt cleared sooner rather than later.


Finally - in case it is not clear - I AGREE THAT OP NEEDS TO PROTECT HIS ASSETS and have heavily encouraged this from the start. I also need to protect my £45k + future payments to a mortgage that ultimately, is not mine.
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First, the usual I Am Not A Lawyer caveat.

I think that the relevant aspect of law that would apply would be the term "beneficial interest". That would apply regardless of what name is on the legal deeds to the house. You would have a share in the house, regardless of whether or not your name was added to the deeds. In fact, you might already have a share in the house as a result of making regular payments into the relationship. That's a grey area, but dropping a non-trivial amount into mortgage payments isn't. That's a clear case of beneficial interest, as clear as it gets unless there is clear evidence that you intended the money as a gift to him. Which you don't.

But IANAL. It would be a good idea to ask a lawyer in addition to asking random people on a forum.
 
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Hades said:
I'm trying to understand which way round you mean. Are you saying you advised her to end the relationship because the boyfriend didn't want her to own a part of his house?
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It isn't all signed and sealed yet so a virgin house if you like and it seems weird that the two are starting a new adventure and he's basically telling her get your own house, this just seems strange to me at my age.
If he'd been in the house 10 years then I get it but it's as though he's preparing for failure so he can easily kick her out.
Like I say she came in two weeks ago saying "I've been dumped" and we were relieved but there were several red flags anyway besides that.

I'm interested to know if any young couples starting off in life have done this where one of them says they want to pay for all the house so the other half can be kicked out easily?
 
SexyGreyFox said:
It isn't all signed and sealed yet so a virgin house if you like and it seems weird that the two are starting a new adventure and he's basically telling her get your own house, this just seems strange to me at my age.
If he'd been in the house 10 years then I get it but it's as though he's preparing for failure so he can easily kick her out.
Like I say she came in two weeks ago saying "I've been dumped" and we were relieved but there were several red flags anyway besides that.

I'm interested to know if any young couples starting off in life have done this where one of them says they want to pay for all the house so the other half can be kicked out easily?
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Thanks for explaining. Maybe a sensible approach would have been for him to buy the house for them to live in and for her to buy a property to rent out. In a few years, if things had worked out, then sell them and buy a single larger family property. If things didn't work out then they both still had peoperty to fall back on.
 
We’ve never had kids. I’ve been with my gf for about 15 years, I’ve known her since we were about 20. We’re now nearly 50. neither of us wanted kids. cats are enough hassle thank you very much.

no biological clocks here.
 
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Adding to the no kids no worries married person here :p
Dont ever say not having kids is selfish that is a very bizarre thing to think and im not sure where it originates, must be a religious hangover thing.

I hope everything works out for you but i would consider getting married further down the line just for the convenience it brings with taxes and property(not stealing it) etc. Dont let my wife read that, i dont think shes going to join the forum just yet....
Are there cohabitation rules/rights in the UK yet?
 
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Efour said:
Adding to the no kids no worries married person here :p
Dont ever say not having kids is selfish that is a very bizarre thing to think and im not sure where it originates, must be a religious hangover thing.

I hope everything works out for you but i would consider getting married further down the line just for the convenience it brings with taxes and property(not stealing it) etc. Dont let my wife read that, i dont think shes going to join the forum just yet....
Are there cohabitation rules/rights in the UK yet?
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Same here. Married, no kids, no regrets and too old to have any clocks ticking. One may not believe in the institution of marriage but in the UK it is the one (along with civil partnerships) that brings with it benefits like you mention. The tax thing can be quite impactful too. Things like inheritance tax exemption for a spouse can save a hefty bill. Depressing to think about but if you see a long term future with someone then worth considering.
 
christmascake said:
I don't own the house - but according to everyone on here, I want half of it! :D
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Its not that. It's that if you're an unknown quantity, and things go badly, it would be much more difficult for the OP to make a break. And move end up having to sell.

With interest rates like they are, it might very well be better financially to keep that cash in a savings account/premium bonds etc.
 
Diagro said:
She's mid 20's and doesn't want kids?
I think you'll find that will change in the next 5-10 years.
Her biological clock will keep ticking. At some stage the urge to make a baby will arise. Especially towards 30-35..

Having a child is an amazing thing. Don't knock it.
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It can happen. It often does happen. Every now and again i chat to my gf about if she's still on the same page as me (no kids) as its a deal breaker for me.

Although a lot change, I'm fairly confident at her being 31 she won't. Of course she could.. But it isn't a given. And it can be quite annoying for women to hear the old "you'll want em one day"
 
inogen said:
We’ve never had kids. I’ve been with my gf for about 15 years, I’ve known her since we were about 20. We’re now nearly 50. neither of us wanted kids. cats are enough hassle thank you very much.

no biological clocks here.
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Interesting to know.. Any regrets? As I've gotten older, 37, and time seems even more precious, and life ever more expensive, I'm more sure than ever I don't want kids.
Don't often get to ask this question as I don't know many older people who never had kids.
 
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