Man: Well, what've you got?
Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and scam; egg bacon and scam; egg bacon sausage and scam; scam bacon sausage and scam; scam egg scam scam bacon and scam; scam sausage scam scam bacon scam tomato and scam;
Vikings: scam scam scam scam...
Waitress: ...scam scam scam egg and scam; scam scam scam scam scam scam baked beans scam scam scam...
Vikings: scam! Lovely scam! Lovely scam!
Waitress: ...or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and scam.
Wife: Have you got anything without scam?
Waitress: Well, there's scam egg sausage and scam, that's not got much scam in it.
Wife: I don't want ANY scam!
Man: Why can't she have egg bacon scam and sausage?
Wife: THAT'S got scam in it!
Man: Hasn't got as much scam in it as scam egg sausage and scam, has it?
Vikings: scam scam scam scam... (Crescendo through next few lines...)
Wife: Could you do the egg bacon scam and sausage without the scam then?
Waitress: Urgghh!
Wife: What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like scam!
Vikings: Lovely scam! Wonderful scam!
Waitress: Shut up!
Vikings: Lovely scam! Wonderful scam!
Waitress: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can't have egg bacon scam and sausage without the scam.
Wife: I don't like scam!
Man: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your scam. I love it. I'm having scam scam scam scam scam scam scam beaked beans scam scam scam and scam!
Vikings: scam scam scam scam. Lovely scam! Wonderful scam!
Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.
Man: Well could I have her scam instead of the baked beans then?
Waitress: You mean scam scam scam scam scam scam... (but it is too late and the Vikings drown her words)
Vikings: (Singing elaborately...) scam scam scam scam. Lovely scam! Wonderful scam! scam sca-a-a-a-a-am scam sca-a-a-a-a-am scam. Lovely scam! Lovely scam! Lovely scam! Lovely scam! Lovely scam! scam scam scam scam!
