Heart broken

ScarySquirrel said:
You need to do your best to give her space and cut off contact for a week or so whilst she thinks about what she wants. Use this time to TRY to see your own friends, do not become a recluse. Have a think about what you want and begin trying to imagine life without her, just in case she does realise that she wants to end it.

It will be hard for some time but you WILL get over it. As I said, see your mates and get out there doing things to occupy your time which would otherwise be spent with her.

If you keep in touch with her you will only push her away further. You NEED to give her some space and once she is ready she will get in touch and you can both talk about what you want.

Good luck mate.
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Good advise, id stick with this if i was you. And as to the first reply post bout how shes nailing him. That was pretty lame and really not funny.

:EDIT:

Lmao didn'ty relise tyhis was 10 pages. Maybe there is better advise... im not reading thriough it all :P
 
wedgie said:
Sounds like you had the stones to do what you knew was the right thing (as opposed to clinging on to hope).
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Theres still hope there.
And i still get that annoying 'knot' in my stomach feeling. And as disgusting as it is, i'd still take her back.
But aparentely she'd never do that to me, get back together after a few months.
Shes basically thinking of herself, thinking that shes helping me out when shes helping herself.
gareth.e said:
Good on you!
I was about to say wtf?! why didn't you go ape?!
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Theres nothing more that i'd like to do than go absolultly ape at her, swear my head off, saying what im really thinking, but i dont feel it would achieve anything.
It'd make her feel bad, and potentially, any very very slim chance of it working out, going. Along with any chance of friendship.

Maybe thats the problem, that i never actually told her off about things? So she never felt wanted?

Ah well, no point dwelling. My mind keeps wondering how it is without more things to wonder to.
 
Well, still not over her. Tried my best to shut her out of my life but she's still on my mind constantly. Got home from work Friday and my weekend was ruined instantly as one of my friends had been tagged in some photo's she was in. Thought i'd removed all trace of her but obviously not. Just put her in my mind constantly from then onwards.

I was asked to go out on the Friday night with a mate, his girlfriend and this other girl. Nice girl but too quiet and not my type, and it was blatantly done to set us up, but I said i'd go just to have a night out. Ended up backing out a couple of hours before after the above pretty much killed my mood, and it turns out my ex was there so it was probably for the best.

Then on Sunday I broke down to my mum. Really sucks but I can't ******* help it and it still hurts so much. This has resulted in me texting her today to see if she fancies going out for a meal sometime (I havn't seen her in over two months). No reply so far and I'm not sure if I expect one.

This has hit me so much harder than I ever expected it to. As you can tell from the very first post I was absolutely gutted when it first started to kick off. I'll never forget how I felt that day, but to be fair I still don't feel that much better now, still. I just wish I knew what was going through her head. We didn't fall out or anything and we were chalk and cheese for almost four years, now she doesn't seem to want ANYTHING to do with me at all. I just can't get my head round it. One part of me wants to just go round her house and call her a heartless bitch, but what would that solve?
 
Its a tough time, you cant expect feelings to disappear overnight and it can take ages to get over someone. Don't be too hard on yourself and take each and every day as it comes.
 
Please for your own sake, delete her number from your phone, so you dont have a weak moment and txt her again.

I doubt she will send you any sort of reply, but if she does it will most likely be out of guilt for upsetting you.

It hurts like hell for months but you need to stop obsessing about all the what ifs. One day you will realise you havent thought about her all day, but going over and over what went wrong in your head is really not helping.
:)
 
just grow some nuts and accept it.

Im back at my mothers after properly splitting with the lass a couple of months back after 6 years.

Just man up.
 
re

sound like she wants her freedom with her friends and may like the attention that other males give her,its part of life mate...i think most people go through something like this at some point in there life...better to get it when your young as it only makes you wiser...at the end of the day it dont matter what you say or do to her,if she wants to be with you then she will be with you,as for you it can do 2 things to you....make you or break you...its one or the other...remember what person you are and the qualities you have.....time is great healer.....dont think on it just go out and have fun with ** pals....and if u meet somebody else,not right away but in time...somebody that likes you for you and vice versa,then you will realise that you were probably better off without this girl.....trust me bro i been there lol
 
I didnt catch this thread until late and most of what others said rang true. I gather that the time apart hasn't really changed anything. I had reservations if it would.
What I will say though - yes, easier said than done - is that you should not have backed out of the night out, your life doesnt stop just because of what has happened, and your mate is probably trying to help you carry on with life. Her life hasnt stopped by the sounds of things, and socialising is going to help you realise there are other people out there.
Just because this other girl wasn't 'your type' doesnt mean that you cant just go out and socialise. They asked you out for who you are, and it doesnt always have to feel like a set up. If she was 'your type', would it still feel like a set up?
Believe me, its better than staying in and wallowing. If you're not the single type that you say, staying in isnt really going to change anything.
Even if your ex was there, it shouldnt stop you going out, she doesn't own the city and it shouldn't make you avoid places that you would otherwise enjoy because of who you used to bring there. So what then, you'll end up going to nasty dives just because it has no memories?
Just go out, be civil if you need to be or dont make any contact, and have a laugh with 'your' mates who are out with 'you'. Your ex's social life should be of no concern to you and you wont get your head around it - otherwise you'd be rich if you could read minds. If her company is boring and she comes over, your attention stays with your mates. You're not a portable entertainer when it suits.
Making contact is only going to prolong your grief, and the more desperate you try, the more overbearing you will feel. Cut your ties, delete number fom your phone contacts, get a new email and move on. It will get easier, some longer than others.
 
Deja vu.

When I was 21 my slightly younger girlfriend of 3 years left me for some other bloke. I come from a very small community, and I had to watch every day as she got about with this idiot. I was a mess for a couple of months, but got with another bird, a bit older, and spent a happy month getting drunk and laid by this rather experienced lass! Tuther bird saw this, got jealous, and came crawling back...I was stupid enough to take her back (kept the other one on the go to though - even MORE stupid). Took me another year to realise we weren't meant to be, and were only back together because we were jealous of each other being with other people.

Of the 3 serious relationships I have had in the 9 years since that 'first love', it doesn't really get any easier when they end, but you get used to the knocks, and pick yourself up and move on much more quickly.

I couldn't be happier with my current girlfriend, but when I split with my last girlfriend 2 years ago, I kept emailing, texting, and generally behaving like a desperate idiot, trying to get her back. Its taken years to realise, but its sooo '****** pointless.

So to the original poster, delete this girl from your life in every way you can, and find a new one. But rest assured, you'll probably go through the same thing a few more times before you get to the right one. You DO get over people, and you WILL get over this girl. It will probably be a few more months, maybe even a year before you realise it, but you will...
 
The love of my life broke up with me about 4 months ago. Prior to this I was married to someone who I was in love with; albeit a long time ago so I kind of know what I'm talking about. I left the wife and a few weeks later I started seeing the GF.

When she broke up with me it was the most soul destroying feeling I've ever come accross. I've served in Iraq, Afghanistan, the Balklands and I have seen some horrific sights, some that make me question what we as human beings are capable off. I have lost friends, friends of friends etc., however her words "I don't want to be with you anymore" cut me up more then anything I have ever experienced. It's horrific, and it proper cut me up inside.

I'm now a good way over it but I still have rough days, and also days where I burst into tears about it all for no reason, however I'm in a much better state then say, 8 weeks ago. All I can advise you to do is keep your chin up, spend plenty of time with good friends and try to keep yourself occupied in whatever way you can. IME there are no words, or activities that help you through it; only time did it for me, and that time combined with the support of my friends has put my life back on track. You realise at these times who your mates are and who your true friends are. Oh, and the getting under another lass to get over the ex does not work!

MSN in trust if you want to chat about it.

Chris.
 
Im finding that im in the stage now where i just hate her for being a coward.
My work keeps me occupied through the day, and when i can get my mates to go the pub, that keeps me occupied too.
Still, my mind does wonder every now and then, but never to the point to actually affect me.
 
Strange few days...

My ex ended up texting me back saying that we could go for a meal, it took her almost 2 days to do this. I figure she's just saying yes to be nice so I didn't see the point in texting her back. It'd only hurt seeing her I think.

My mate text me Thursday and said he wanted to hook me up with his girlfriends mate, I was like yeh sure. Checked her out in the usual places and she's stunning :o She's made contact and we're in small talk zone at the moment, just waiting for something to get arranged so we can meet.

My ex has completely been wiped from my mind for the last few days, feels weird.

Now for the problem regarding all of this, this girl is 17, 18 in a few months. I'm 23 next week, and i'm a teacher :o My mate is the same age as me and his girlfriend the same age as her, and they've been together for about 9 months I think. What to do? :confused:
 
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Ripper said:
Now for the problem regarding all of this, this girl is 17, 18 in a few months. I'm 23 next week, and i'm a teacher :o My mate is the same age as me and his girlfriend the same age as her, and they've been together for about 9 months I think. What to do? :confused:
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She is legal so just see what happens, age is too much of an issue these days - but in saying that young girls can be very immature, i have just found this out the hard way.

Started seeing a girl of 19 over the last 2 months, in fact the first month she was with a fella fo 3 years but barely saw him (literally an hour a week) i didnt do anything with her other then basic chats and the odd lunch at work while they were together, when the split things got more serious and started seeing each other. Got a great vibe from her, very affectionate, very keen and really happy. First time in years i had been feeling happy too, was loving it - had a pre-booked holiday to Miami a couple weeks ago were i spent a fair amount keeping in contact with her while i was out there - she couldnt wait for me to get back saying if i was any longer she would have to fly out there to see me!! So i get back, we go out a few times on the Friday night sleep together, see each other Sat, Sun, Mon all good - see her Tue and things seem different, she is not as attentive but stays over anyway, i shrugged it off as a bad day at work. Wed night get a text saying she is not sure what she wants and feels things have been rushed - i completely understand and back off a bit, Thursday she doesnt speak to me all day?! baring in mind we normally always in contact i thought a bit wierd, so text her about 9pm and she said she is fine just had a bad day and will talk to me tomorrow. Friday i got an email saying she is not saying its over but should cancel our planned trip to see the script next month. Friday night she texts me saying its not what she wants at all and basically ends it with me...

I was obviously gutted but despite everything thought it was to good to be true anyway, but it just didnt make sense how quickly it changed. Roll on to Sunday and she signs on MSN at 5am (i couldnt sleep) i question why she is up so late and she replies "been to a friends" which is what she told people when seeing me to start with, so i said who is the lucky fella then - turns out she did like someone else but "didnt think she had a chance" so didnt do anything, he told her he likes her so she "couldnt help but fall for him" - i work with them both so again gutting, but i was nice about it and said - do what you want, i wish you happyness (i do) and we were not actually going out so fair play.

Fast forward to today where i get a ranting email of her asking why i told people we slept together, i didnt have clue what she was chatting about as i hadnt! About 3 people know we were seeing each other thats all. Turns out he had asked her if she had as he knew she was seeing me and she said No, twice... he didnt believe her and asked a 3rd time and she admitted it and maoned at me for telling when i hadnt cos she got caught out. This guy went mad at her, and considering he was engaged and kicked his ex out of the flat with him to be with her was not best pleased. So now she is not talking to me for something i didnt do... 19 year olds eh!
 
rover416i said:
Balls to that, I realllllly couldn't be doing with that kinda stuff.

Sadly as I'm 19 though looks like I have to put up with it :(
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I do live in Essex remember so that might explain something, i just think its so harsh to practicly be going out with me spouting all this "ive never been happy and its because of you" crap, to then fall for some complete arse and move on.

Made work very very uncomfortable now
 
McDaniel said:
She is legal so just see what happens, age is too much of an issue these days - but in saying that young girls can be very immature, i have just found this out the hard way.

Started seeing a girl of 19 over the last 2 months, in fact the first month she was with a fella fo 3 years but barely saw him (literally an hour a week) i didnt do anything with her other then basic chats and the odd lunch at work while they were together, when the split things got more serious and started seeing each other. Got a great vibe from her, very affectionate, very keen and really happy. First time in years i had been feeling happy too, was loving it - had a pre-booked holiday to Miami a couple weeks ago were i spent a fair amount keeping in contact with her while i was out there - she couldnt wait for me to get back saying if i was any longer she would have to fly out there to see me!! So i get back, we go out a few times on the Friday night sleep together, see each other Sat, Sun, Mon all good - see her Tue and things seem different, she is not as attentive but stays over anyway, i shrugged it off as a bad day at work. Wed night get a text saying she is not sure what she wants and feels things have been rushed - i completely understand and back off a bit, Thursday she doesnt speak to me all day?! baring in mind we normally always in contact i thought a bit wierd, so text her about 9pm and she said she is fine just had a bad day and will talk to me tomorrow. Friday i got an email saying she is not saying its over but should cancel our planned trip to see the script next month. Friday night she texts me saying its not what she wants at all and basically ends it with me...

I was obviously gutted but despite everything thought it was to good to be true anyway, but it just didnt make sense how quickly it changed. Roll on to Sunday and she signs on MSN at 5am (i couldnt sleep) i question why she is up so late and she replies "been to a friends" which is what she told people when seeing me to start with, so i said who is the lucky fella then - turns out she did like someone else but "didnt think she had a chance" so didnt do anything, he told her he likes her so she "couldnt help but fall for him" - i work with them both so again gutting, but i was nice about it and said - do what you want, i wish you happyness (i do) and we were not actually going out so fair play.

Fast forward to today where i get a ranting email of her asking why i told people we slept together, i didnt have clue what she was chatting about as i hadnt! About 3 people know we were seeing each other thats all. Turns out he had asked her if she had as he knew she was seeing me and she said No, twice... he didnt believe her and asked a 3rd time and she admitted it and maoned at me for telling when i hadnt cos she got caught out. This guy went mad at her, and considering he was engaged and kicked his ex out of the flat with him to be with her was not best pleased. So now she is not talking to me for something i didnt do... 19 year olds eh!
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Sounds like a created argument to help her emotionally detach from you.

As has been stated, most women are completely bonkers mad.
 
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