Heartbroken

mike5678 said:
Hopefully you didn't buy her a christmas present yet. Maybe she's just strapped for cash and will get back with you after christmas.
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After seven years? :confused:

One would've thought that they would've been able to work their through that particular hitch.
 
Nix said:
After seven years? :confused:

One would've thought that they would've been able to work their through that particular hitch.
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This is the reason, she wanted to save a few quid and break up leaving a 300k flat in negative equaty (lost 40-50k in the crunch) :p.

She basically said i was getting in the way of her future, she is a career orientated person and i was taking up too much time and too much hard work to live with, i admit it for the past 6 months i have been a lazy buggar as i have been very stressed with work i havent paid her much attention or done much house work etc, the bit she was most aggrevated was the fact i refused to argue with her which made her have a lot of pent up anger which she couldnt dish out on me. We have agreed on me living here till christmas, then i will go to my parents for a week and we will have a meeting and see how we feel. i dont have my hopes up though, i have found a nice flat in SW1 which i can afford though.

Dude.
 
Sorry to here tha fella.

On the plus side, 2009 can be your "Year of Change"

Go travelling
Get a new job
Grow a beard

Whatever floats your boat. Thats how my mate got over his break up.
 
You sure its not just a build up of stress and shes released it all in one go? Christmas stress could have pushed her over the edge.

Either way, life goes on. Buy a new PC/Car :)
 
Dude!

...you have had a KNOCK haven't you? This, Dude, is the time when a man does his CHARACTER BUILDING. Do not wallow. Do not get beat.

Someone has already suggested a new wardrobe and haircut. Fantastic ideas!
Also, buy yourself some new CD's. Get into new bands / music which the two of you had nothing to do with. Listen to this music and let it define the new year and your new start.
Join a gym. Get yourself fit.
Make contact with your old chums again. Have the odd weekend back (up?) there away from London.
Are you renting? Why not move into a new house share / flat? That will force you to meet new people straight away and will keep the evenings / wekeends busy whilst you find that perfect place where you can become The New Dude.

Have full faith that The New Dude will be a better Dude, a happier Dude. Keep in mind that even if The Very Near Mrs. Dude ever shows her mug again, The New Dude would turn her down flat, for The New Dude has too many awesome positive things going onto consider looking backwards. Don't look backwards.

Only you can make this happen. Good luck to you Dude. Keep us updated.
 
J.B said:
Sorry to here tha fella.

On the plus side, 2009 can be your "Year of Change"

Grow a beard

Whatever floats your boat. Thats how my mate got over his break up.
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I did that after my break up - looks good I reckon :)

In seriousness hang in there mate, it's hard as hell but you'll live, and yeah this Christmas won't be great for you but there will be ohers, don't mope around and do a lot if you can. Also take comfort in your friends, some people bottle everything up but tell them how yo are feeling, they'll more than likely cheer you up.
 
Sounds to me like staying there until / after Christmas is probably the worst thing to do.

Clean break time..
Don't go holding on to the idea that you two might get back together after..


What a ****** thing to do just before Christmas too..

Look on the bright side though, you can now go out when you like, get home when you like and tidy the house when you like without getting moaned at.
It's refreshing in one way to be "free"
Just don't sit there and dwell on it too much as that will not make you feel any better at all.
Jog to the pub, the park, go see some work colleagues and have a beer and game of pool...
 
singist said:
It hurts like **** now but if you make a determined effort to move on/away, it will slowly get better.

Try to occupy yourself with making other people feel good/happy over this Christmas; at the very least you won't be thinking of your situation every waking moment and at best, you will help others and might even find a few new friends.

Best of luck.
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Sound advice :)

Ive had a couple of 5+ year relationships, does get better as the weeks / months go on, you just adapt in time. You never know, next xmas you might just be with a lifelong partner ;)
 
theDude said:
So, the week before Christmas, my partner of over 7 years has decided that we should go our seperate ways.

i was going to propose to her in the new year, once i had saved.

Devastated is not the word, i know its sad posting on a forum this stuff, but i left everything behinde to move to London to be with her so i have very few people to talk to. sad, i know.

Dude.
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go to thailand and let the women of LOS relieve your pain
 
Nix said:
As cliché as it is: chin up fella. At this point you can either soldier on with your head held high or mope around until the walls close in. It's your call, take your time. I know it's probably no consolation, but Merry Christmas mate. You've got a whole new year to look forward to! :)
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It might just be the problems you've been having problems lately along with the "7 year itch" but as for advice, I agree with Nix here.
 
Thanks for the advice everyone, i really miss her but if i sit around moping about it then she will never want to be with me.

I am doing some diy at the moment and trying to arrange a viewing for a flat in sw5 which is only 20min into the city which is cool.

dude
 
Been there very recently, although it's not really comparable to a 7 year jobby...

Get yourself busy and keep it that way, you will rinse her right out of your head I promise :)
 
singist said:
It hurts like **** now but if you make a determined effort to move on/away, it will slowly get better.

Try to occupy yourself with making other people feel good/happy over this Christmas; at the very least you won't be thinking of your situation every waking moment and at best, you will help others and might even find a few new friends.

Best of luck.
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This man has it bang on.

The best thing about the end of the world is that it only lasts until you meet someone who changes that. Might be today, might be next year or next week.

I've been there and probably most of the people reading this thread have been there too. It sucks and it is - or can be - genuinely life changing. That's a pretty good thing if you think about it in the right way :)

Good luck dude.
 
I'l just nod and agree with what other people have said.

7 years is a long time. Was it expected or ? ...... it doesnt matter now any ways.

Just keep your chin up not the end of the world :D Try get in touch with family or friends to spend xmas with someone.
 
It was completely unexpected, now she keeps saying she needs time alone to get her head clear and work out "who she is" and "what she wants".

I am in the angry stage of things now, this morning i bought her mum a shed for christmas as my exgf couldnt pick it up.. it didnt fit in my car so i had to take a taxi.. now i feel like meh why did i do that.

i just went shopping, bought a new suit, some new trouers, about 90 shirts, ties etc and got a hair cut. going to go to the cinema in a min, by myself albeit, but at least i wont be in this damned flat. oh and she can forget about keeping the plasma, sofa and bose system! (other stuff i dont care too much for)

Dude.
 
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