How did you know what to do for a living?

I know what I want to do and I don't want to work.

Unfortunately I have no option in this so I go with the flow and get on with it as long as the job I'm doing meets three criteria:

1. I don't hate what I'm doing.
2. Reasonable money, national average or slightly below is fine.
3. Stress free.
 
Mr Joshua said:
I know what I want to do and I don't want to work.

Unfortunately I have no option in this so I go with the flow and get on with it as long as the job I'm doing meets three criteria:

1. I don't hate what I'm doing.
2. Reasonable money, national average or slightly below is fine.
3. Stress free.
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Sounds about right to me. Although a little stress here and there can be quite healthy I think.
 
Castiel said:
Then it sounds like you need to do some serious decision making. Decide what it is you wish to do, specifically. Then decide how you intend to accomplish that, specifically.

You need to decide what areas of compromise you are willing to accept, and there will be some whatever you decide, and those that you really can't.

Once you have decided that, then you need to look at the practical aspects of achieving that aim and then simply taking that first step. Because once you have made that first step the rest gets progressively easier.

You sound pretty aimless at the moment and are in danger of meandering about and accomplishing nothing. It's time to make some pretty strict decisions if you are ever going to escape the rut you seem to have made for yourself. You are obviously an intelligent person with plenty of potential, use that potential and intellect, don't drown in it.

I wish you luck, I really do, just remember, its not what you do in life that is important, but how you do it.
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Pretty much sums up my own conclusions to the last penny. My only realistic and sensible option I think it to save up and go back for a post-graduate degree in something that interests me. At the very least it will open doors presently closed. The problem is as I've already outlined though, that saving will take time that I don't feel that I've got to give. I needed out yesterday, not two year's from now, if you can appreciate my problem. The obvious solution to this is get another job locally that pays more and has better hours/shifts thus improving other aspects of my life. However, these jobs don't seem to exist. At the very least I'm been unfortunate and keep missing them.

Castiel, the one thing that I've kept coming back to in the last three years; the one thing I absolutely - if I were to say such a thing existed for me - have a 'calling' for is storytelling. I absolutely would love to do this; I sit and watch say Dr Who where a moment grabs you and all I wish to do is be able to create my own moments. I could, realistically, do an MA in Creative Writing or Film Production for example, but getting a tangible career from it, or even publication, etc. is putting too many eggs in a single basket.

I'm then left in hindsight, only being able to considering a more serious master's degree as my answer.

It's the time it'll take to get back to university that bothers me most. As I said: I'm deeply unhappy with my present circumstances. Change has to happen sooner because I feel like I'm losing a part of myself with every passing day, and reality that's not actually too far from the truth either.

You can appreciate now, why I was beginning to contemplate re-training and what I meant when I said certain aspects of the career appeal.
 
Tbh it does sound like you're railing against the world for not being exactly right for you which is a pretty futile gesture - the world isn't going to change any time soon so the onus is on you to make things happen.

First, if you are really deeply unhappy with who you are, then no amount of changing external factors is going to affect that. And secondly if you aren't happy with yourself, then it's not surprising that you aren't getting anything out of your jobs, the job is defining you by filling the vacuum your personality should be occupying - you should define your job not the other way round.

To work with your Guiness phrase, all you appear to be putting into life right now is negativity and excuses not to do things, so it's not surprising you're not getting anything out of it.

There will always be excuses not to do things, not to take risks, to be sensible, if you keep being so risk-averse then you'll be stacking shelves in Southend at 60 years old.

Find the good things about your current situation. Take up hiking, cycling, canoeing, rock-climbing, sailing, write restaurant reviews, go on cheap weekend trips to random places by throwing darts at a dartboard. You like storytelling? Volunteer at kids playgroups! DO SOMETHING! Create your own inertia and the world will accomodate you, stagnate and the world will envelop you.

Read Yes Man dammit!

You can rubbish all the suggestions here all day long because none of them are 'just right' but on a purely rational basis everything has positives and negatives, it's the way you approach things which defines what you get out of it.
 
You've misunderstood Rich. I like who I am at a base level. I don't like my present circumstances and as such what it's making me become i.e. miserable and numb.

I hate the job because of the stupid hours, poor structure, rubbish pay, irritating customers, lack of purpose and autonomy, and its life-draining, apathy-inducing tedium.

It's not excuses Rich, they're genuine factors. It probably seems obvious to you that I should do the whole London move thing, but I've only just cleared that debt that's held me back for so long. Of course I'm going to be slightly risk adverse with certain things.

It's all well and good saying 'yes' to things but you have to have a degree of freedom and social mobility to do those things in the first place. I'd love to do all those things, but reality is I'm stuck working evenings and weekends with a messed-up sleep-pattern and constant headaches accommodating knuckle-shufflers and braindead ilks just to try and move my life forward in babysteps. As I mentioned earlier, I obviously need a new job. I just wish they were easier to come by.

I am trying to create my own interia. This whole thread exists as testamount to that.

I appreciate that I may be coming across as trying to martyr myself or rally against the world, but I'm not. I'm fighting more against my own expectations of myself than what the world is. I'm unhappy quite simply because I've stagnated in every respect. The only thing that's moving is time and at this rate I am going to die miserable, poor and lonely.

Anyway, just to hear you out on the London thing. Let's say I thought **** it and went for it. How would you suggest I go about doing it and what would you suggest once I've done so? Don't get me wrong Rich, I know you're right about moving. London would solve a lot of the inherent boredom issues I have here. Hell, I'm stuck trying to find new ways to walk to work just to spice it up lately. Incidently, as you may have guessed: my current job plays a large role into why I have no social-life outside of it. The people I work with are by and large fine, it's just the stupid last-minute hours and lack of structure ("You can have Saturday off next week, but we're only going to tell you on Wednesday") means that most of the friends I did have, no longer bother as they always assume I'm at work, which I am.

For the record, I thought Yes Man (movie) was a bit... meh - it just seems so banal - but then again I also raged at the end of 500 Days of Summer, so perhaps I'm just a bit mental anyway.

Moses said:
Graduate development loan + working, whilst studying = masters funding?
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As much as I really hate the idea of further loans, etc. I think I'm going to have to give serious thought to it. It does leave me in an awfully precarious position post-graduation though if I once again fail to find employment.

Is a GDL the same as a CDL?
 
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No not the movie that's rubbish, the book is far better, Danny Wallace :p

Re: London - I know the job market is tougher than when I did it, but from what I hear from friends there's still positions going. I guess your story resonates because after Uni I moved home but after 6 months working in Plymouth I couldn't stand to get out - I got a 2-week temp contract moving boxes in a law firm and moved up into a cheap flatshare with 4 randoms on the strength of that - 6 months later was working in a legal consultancy firm through contacts I'd made and continued working in London for 8 years until moving to California - where I had/am having to do it all again from scratch pretty much (currently working in a doctor's office doing nerve studies on patients!)

These little satellite towns outside of the major cities with their big fish small pond mentality are hellholes for people with a broader world view who want excitement, novelty, fascinating people and their stories beyond a crappy 10-mile circle, I'm not surprised you're going mental.

First port of call would be to think of, talk to, contact anyone you know who works in London, old school friends, Uni mates, etc etc and ask them straight up if their company is hiring at all, for anything. Phone up all the temp agencies (Badenoch & Clark was a good one for me) and pester them - you have the days off - spend some of them going into London and introduce yourself to the temp agencies. Even on a day off, get a train ticket and go into the Square Mile, or Chancery Lane, or Canary Wharf, soak up the atmosphere and ask yourself where you'd rather be.

Go move to somewhere with a decent young population, find some Aussies/New Zealanders, they are always good for a laugh, lol. You will literally feel so much more alive than in some crappy commuter town, even if you're in a flatshare with randoms at least it's a) your place and b) you are right in the middle of the greatest city in the world and all the opportunities and suchlike that entails.

Put it this way, what's the worst that can happen, you end up moving back home - where you are now. Throw the dice and roll with it :cool:
 
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Hi Nix,

I can completely identify with your situation and your feeling about it. I've been in exactly the same position. Personally I had always seen myself running my own business even when I was quite young, and 5 years of varied and fairly miserable employed positions only reinforced that. I found an opportunity (ecommerce related) and went for it and that is what I am still doing 7 years later.

I was going to ask what the pipe dream was you referred to earlier. Is it this?

Nix said:
Castiel, the one thing that I've kept coming back to in the last three years; the one thing I absolutely - if I were to say such a thing existed for me - have a 'calling' for is storytelling. I absolutely would love to do this; I sit and watch say Dr Who where a moment grabs you and all I wish to do is be able to create my own moments. I could, realistically, do an MA in Creative Writing or Film Production for example, but getting a tangible career from it, or even publication, etc. is putting too many eggs in a single basket.

I'm then left in hindsight, only being able to considering a more serious master's degree as my answer.
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It sounds to me like this is where your passion lies and I think you should follow it. No one ever achieved anything magnificent by having realistic goals and it sounds to me like you don't want to live an ordinary 9-5 life working a job which simply pays the bills. Too many eggs in a single basket for what? Do you have a fear of failure? Sometimes putting all your eggs in one basket or burning your bridges so to speak is what results in success. It's the ultimate motivator, perseverance is crucial. Or you can go for the safe option and regret it later........

You said it yourself, it's not what life brings to you, it's what you bring to life. My vote is follow the dream. :)
 
dmpoole said:
He's already admitted it was nothing to do with it so you're posting for nothing so you need to read the thread :D
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The thought process behind it does though ;) Which is what others have been explaining. The desire to look at things and understand how they work, which progressed from simple household objects, to chemistry. It's just the progression of doing something I enjoy. :)
 
I drew -a lot- as a kid. I also played a lot of video games. This ended up with my experimenting with a lot of stuff when i was 11-16, like game making, web design, graphics, etc. By the time I was 19 though, I realised what I enjoyed most making characters come to life. And so I'm now near 21 and studying in a Character Animation course.
 
Rich_L is spot on with his advice. Also I think it'd be helpful if you changed your attitude to work, because negativity and loathing don't get you anywhere. We live in a capitalist society and while we can all find problems with it, it isn't going to change overnight or indeed any time in the near future.

I would look into a career development loan to pay for your masters course. Writing is great, but you have to ask yourself if there's really a good chance that you will generate an income from it.
 
I'm 31 and have never known what I wanted to do career wise. When I was a kid, I was told not to worry about it, that it would come with time and age... but that never seems to have happened.

Then again, I've had 'ideas' of things I'd potentially be interested in (Sports journalism), but never got off my arse and made any steps down that road, because I've felt that the barriers to entry are too steep. It's kinda like, I've got a 'career' that earns me enough to live on, do I really want to take a massive pay cut to pursue something I have a genuine passion for, when I have no guarentee that I'll actually make it?

I think alongside this I have come to the realisation that life does indeed pass you by. I used to think that we had a working life of say 45 years and that you didn't really need to worry about stuff, that you could just coast along and delay career decisions until your mid-30s say. But it seems that other things like family, mortgages etc end up tying you down and the idea of taking strides forwards in your 30s doesn't seem as simple as I'd once imagined - everyone else did it in their 20s. I used to think that senior managers were all in their 40s and 50s, but what I've found is that pretty much all the big-wigs I've come across during my working life had got themselves senior positions by the time they were 35 or younger.
 
ChrisJSY said:
If you don't mind answering, what stopped you going further?
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I did have a place on the BA sponsorship scheme but it was cancelled after the Twin Tower attack.
I never had the money to do my own training so tried a few of the other so-called sponsorship schemes (FlyBe-Cabair, Easyjet-CTC, NetJets-Oxford). Usually get to the final interview before ******* it up, lol. Then wife and kids came along and I just sort of gave up on it tbh.
 
Any developments Nix? Narrowed things down any more? I know you're suspended at the moment but it'd be interesting to hear how you're getting on when you return.
 
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