How do you deal with a break up?

I get sacked a lot as I'm a bit of a **** and don't have my head out my **** long enough to notice I'm neglecting her.
It's kind of a relief to me though which just goes to show how much of an irresponsible **** I am, The truth of it I suppose is I am just selfish and like doing my own thing to much.

So my honest advise to you is to start doing things that you don't do when loved up, get wasted, buy a motorbike, crash out wherever you fall just have a blast. At least this way you'll be enjoying life rather than moping about.
Good luck.
 
ka16’s Breakup Megathread Theorem: Every one of you will invariably cherry-pick, feel a compulsion to ignore or otherwise neglect most or all of the fantastic advice detailed below, assuming it doesn’t apply to you.

Minimaul’s Megathread Corollary: You are not a special *********. You are not the exception to the rule. You are not the anecdote that proves the rule wrong. You are not in a Jennifer Aniston movie. You are not a movie with an acceptable ending for the whole audience. This is life.

All right. What's next? Everyone loves phases. For any breakup, there are three main phases: Premonition, Breakup, and Post Breakup. This guide holds your hand through each phase and provides a plethora of prescriptions to help you past the Post Breakup phase and beyond.
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Rule 1: The Relationship Is Over

You tried to work it out, remember? But there’s nothing, and now they’re breaking up with you. The relationship is over. This is the reality. If they’re telling you it’s just a “break”, or “we’ll see what happens in the future”, “I still love you”… it’s still over. If they don’t want to work it out together, you’re not together.
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The Post-Breakup Phase
It’s over and done. Rule 1. You’ve suffered some trauma going through the process of a failed relationship. What now?

Expect to go through at least some of the 5 stages of loss. You may switch back and forth, experience multiple stages at a time or one by one. These can last weeks or months. They are, in no particular order:

Denial
Bargaining
Anger
Despair
Acceptance

Denial: You’ll lie to yourself about the reality of the situation. “She still loves me, I know it,” or “there’s still a possibility even though he said there was none,” for the dumped. “He took it really well” or “She’s doing fine, we’ll be great friends in a week” for the dumper. None of these are true. This is a stupid phase and you won’t begin to feel better until you move on from here. It’s also one of the most debilitating and difficult stages to get out of, especially for the dumped that had little or no certainty in the breakup (see Eratta: Stuck in the Limbo of an Uncertain Breakup, below). You’ll repeat errors in judgment stemming from this phase over and over. Live and learn.

Bargaining: This can happen at the Premonition Phase, or after the breakup. Common are thoughts like “maybe if I show her how much she means to me with 30 rose deliveries… “ or “I could just call him 50 times and tell him how great I am for him.” If you’re still working out issues, give it a shot. If it’s over, it’s over. Don’t beg, plead, whine, or act like a child.

Anger: You were hurt or your partner did not take the breakup well. In any event, you are annoyed at them or the world. You’d love to hurt them or the world emotionally or even physically in some way. Don’t do any of this. Be an adult, accept your anger and act different. Feeling angry is fine, acting angry is not (See Rule 5: Don’t Be An *******, below).

Despair: You are crushed, either because your love just left you or you feel like you destroyed someone’s life. You may tear up, cry, or crumple on the floor bawling uncontrollably. All of this is fine. You have to admit to yourself this stuff is supposed to hurt, and give yourself some time to work through it. For you macho men, better to cry in private than bury it. Despair doesn’t disappear by trying to ignore it. Don’t get stuck here, though. Follow the rules so your despair is a short, manageable stage.

Acceptance: You’ve felt like ****, but all the bad feels somehow distant, and you are confident you’ll be fine. You may not be 100%, but you can see the bright side. Maybe you shift back into another stage, and find yourself here again. Welcome to the beginnings of recovery!
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You can read the whole thing here

There is some great advice in there and I'm sure it'll help.
 
It depends on the relationship to me.

I was with a girl for about 6-7 years and we had a break, a week in I saw her arm in arm laughing and kissing with some guy she was 'friends' with on her uni course. I just left everything, I was more upset when we went on the break than when that happened, was just empty, no emotion and I just moved on and hooked up with some other girls fairly soon.

Some girls I am upset and mopey just thinking what I can do to get back, its always fruitless though my mates usually pull me out of it and then go into the go out all the time and go to the gym lots singledon mode.

I treat relationships like debugging a program, you'll get it right one day with the right girl. til then, trial and error.
 
Move on and find another is my best advice. I refuse to quote cheesy lines relating to Computers as above. Women tend to run like **** at them lines! :D
 
I went with a bit of the old D.

I'm now loving life has to bring. Currently working on 5 different girls and loving life :D Obviously I will only choose one but you can't have have too many fingers in one pie :P
 
In the past I've just throw myself into my work, seen friends and just generally tried to put the situation into a little corner of my mind where it didn't bother me. I might feel a bit **** when on my own for a month or two but I generally get over breakups quite quickly.

Each breakup I've been through has made me less interested in relationships in general though. Not bitter or anything, it just seems like a lot of hassle compared to a single life. :)
 
I don't quite understand people who live with the "shes my world" comments.

If she was your "world" your relationship would be successful and you would still be together. The fact you are not should be an eye opener for you. She doesn't love you, she will never love you its time to move on.

Hate to put it so bluntly but sometimes a bit of brutal honesty helps in a situation like this.
 
Don't stay friends. You obviously feel differently about her than what she feels about you. Why was it a mutual break up if you feel like this? It seems like she initiated it and you went along with it to save face?

If that's the case you need to stay tough now and just move on. There is no point staying in contact with her or being friends as you will just continue to have feelings for her and probably get hurt even more when she moves in with the next guy and tells you about how amazing he is etc.
 
I do, and have done, all of those things to varying degrees but each time I learn a bit more about how I work and deal with things which in turn makes it easier to handle in the future. It doesn't hurt any less but I'll have developed a new coping mechanism for the next time.

Edit: Actually, I don't do any of that... I drink a bottle of whisky and go wrestle bears... ¬_¬
 
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Excessive amounts of alcohol and then girls, followed by cutting back on alcohol and being myself, followed by running off to a foreign country for 3 months. The former 2 never work, the latter has worked for 2 long term relationship break ups!
 
Best way to get over a girl is to watch all 3 Bourne movies. Makes you feel like an epic man afterwards. Trust me. It work :D

In all seriousness, I had a girlfriend last year. It only lasted 2 months, so really we should have called it a "fling". But, when we split up, it was rather poignant to say the least. We eventually got closure with each other.

Nearly 8mths later (and in that time she's been conversing briefly with my housemate who she made friends with when we were seeing each other - my housemate is female btw), I text her for the first time and it's nice. I won't get back with her, but we did have a little flirty texting going on last night. But other than that, nothing else to it really.

Just don't crowd her too much. Be there for her when she needs you and not when you want to be.

Everyone is different during a break up. Some spiral out of control, others get depressed and some prefer to sleep with random people to get over it. How you deal with the situation is up to you.
 
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