How scary is the L-word, really?
- Thread starter Dinomania
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When my relationship was only a month in, I was sick all over my g/f's hair after a big night out. We're still together 4.5 years in, so the above must be true
I gave him glandular fever in the first month - the poor guy was down for weeks 
I kept trying to be a good nurse and it certainly didn't put me off - thankfully he didn't ditch me for being a dirty carrier..!
Some really nice messages from a couple of you
I certainly don't want to over-use it, but just to hear it once would let me know I'm under his skin, properly, you know? Like, I suspect I am anyway, but suspicion isn't a very secure feeling.
Well, the anniversary card I wrote (it's a plain Thank You card rather than one of those awful 'to the one I love' cards) thanks him for being awful because he's above awesome, tells him I can't explain the reasons why for I would run out of paper and words, and then thanks him for putting up with me and letting me love him.
We'll see how he responds
I don't expect anything back from him, though I'll keep my fingers crossed for a similarly nice card..!
I kept trying to be a good nurse and it certainly didn't put me off - thankfully he didn't ditch me for being a dirty carrier..!
Some really nice messages from a couple of you
I certainly don't want to over-use it, but just to hear it once would let me know I'm under his skin, properly, you know? Like, I suspect I am anyway, but suspicion isn't a very secure feeling.
Well, the anniversary card I wrote (it's a plain Thank You card rather than one of those awful 'to the one I love' cards) thanks him for being awful because he's above awesome, tells him I can't explain the reasons why for I would run out of paper and words, and then thanks him for putting up with me and letting me love him.
We'll see how he responds
I don't expect anything back from him, though I'll keep my fingers crossed for a similarly nice card..!
Expectation Sara can be a double edged sword.
In my experience of other people, on one side if you get what you expected then he meets criteria you've decided to set upon him without his consent or obligation, you love him for who he is not what you hope for. The end result though is you being happy.
The other side is that if it doesn't go the way you expected, from what I've seen happen and have had personally happen to me; you will be disappointed and unhappy.
I'm not saying you will, but I'm just bringing up a flaw with a lot of people, especially one of my ex's who would do this and then get angry for not doing what she expected, something I don't usually do..or believe in, she didn't love me for who I was, what I was like.
Rather the idea I was something good at the time and then decided in her head that I should, hopefully meet hidden agendas.
Good luck though
In my experience of other people, on one side if you get what you expected then he meets criteria you've decided to set upon him without his consent or obligation, you love him for who he is not what you hope for. The end result though is you being happy.
The other side is that if it doesn't go the way you expected, from what I've seen happen and have had personally happen to me; you will be disappointed and unhappy.
I'm not saying you will, but I'm just bringing up a flaw with a lot of people, especially one of my ex's who would do this and then get angry for not doing what she expected, something I don't usually do..or believe in, she didn't love me for who I was, what I was like.
Rather the idea I was something good at the time and then decided in her head that I should, hopefully meet hidden agendas.
Good luck though
Hahah!
Basically Chris, from past experience, I expect him to not really know what to do on the romance front. I've surprised him a couple of times being fairly spontaneously sweet (not achingly moooshy don't worry) that he's said he hopes he manages to do something nice for me.
I'm thinking he might manage a card or have a little idea of something he'd like to do on the weekend.
What'd be awesome is if he manages to get his feelings out, either to my face, ear, or down on paper. But if he doesn't then it's probably good that he didn't feel pressured by the anniversary thing.
Everything else he does is already fantastic, his only flaws are those inherent in men in general (i.e. not being telepathic!) so there's nothing more I want or expect from him
Basically Chris, from past experience, I expect him to not really know what to do on the romance front. I've surprised him a couple of times being fairly spontaneously sweet (not achingly moooshy don't worry) that he's said he hopes he manages to do something nice for me.
I'm thinking he might manage a card or have a little idea of something he'd like to do on the weekend.
What'd be awesome is if he manages to get his feelings out, either to my face, ear, or down on paper. But if he doesn't then it's probably good that he didn't feel pressured by the anniversary thing.
Everything else he does is already fantastic, his only flaws are those inherent in men in general (i.e. not being telepathic!) so there's nothing more I want or expect from him
Soldato
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YOUR FROM TOTTERDOWN BRISTOL?
Soldato
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sorry got a bit excited then :|
Soldato
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I usually 'fall in love' when their top comes off. And out a few weeks later.
Scary? No.
The worst experience of my life? Definitely.
Glad for you though..
The worst experience of my life? Definitely.
Uff, excuse me whilst I vomit.
Glad for you though..
Soldato
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When I say it, it has to be meaningful and true.
Love is thrown about to much these days.
I guess it all depends on what you define as love though.
Love is thrown about to much these days.
I guess it all depends on what you define as love though.
Yes I am, well done.
Well, not /from/ here, but I live here.
Chris aye I'm forgiving so far
I know it's all pretty new to him (the process of keeping a woman happy!) so I'm going going to go mental because he's not doing something I might like him to have done but not told him. That's unfair.
Like we agreed not to do anything for Valentine's. I got him a little card anyway - I couldn't resist! He felt guilty but he didn't need to, I didn't expect anything as we had agreed.
When something he's done or not done or said has upset me a bit, I do run away and hide it for a bit until I've calmed down and worked out if it's rational or not. It drives me mad when I get upset over daft stuff
Well, not /from/ here, but I live here.
Chris aye I'm forgiving so far
I know it's all pretty new to him (the process of keeping a woman happy!) so I'm going going to go mental because he's not doing something I might like him to have done but not told him. That's unfair.
Like we agreed not to do anything for Valentine's. I got him a little card anyway - I couldn't resist! He felt guilty but he didn't need to, I didn't expect anything as we had agreed.
When something he's done or not done or said has upset me a bit, I do run away and hide it for a bit until I've calmed down and worked out if it's rational or not. It drives me mad when I get upset over daft stuff
Soldato
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i probs just up the road from you (^^).
I told my gf i loved her after i was gurning and loved up.
:| she was not impressed.
But we been together year and half and i do love her
I told my gf i loved her after i was gurning and loved up.
:| she was not impressed.
But we been together year and half and i do love her
Good to see you happy sara
Personally, I agree that the word is overused far too much. I like to keep it for when I really mean it otherwise it'd just lose all meaning to me.
The first time a guy said he loved me, I suspect he didn't really mean it but I felt obliged to respond the same so I did. Politeness ftl
So I've only ever said it once and meant it. When I've been in a relationship, it's never felt that huge a deal though. Not sure why but I guess if I'm happy, I'm happy. I don't need someone to say one sentence to me to make it so much better. Sure it's great to hear but it's never felt a huge 'OMG he must say this to me eventually or else he obviously doesn't love me and we are doomed!' sort of thing. I'm just quite happy for it to naturally come about.
It would however scare the crap out of me if someone said it to me very early in a relationship unless of course I felt the same!
Personally, I agree that the word is overused far too much. I like to keep it for when I really mean it otherwise it'd just lose all meaning to me.
The first time a guy said he loved me, I suspect he didn't really mean it but I felt obliged to respond the same so I did. Politeness ftl
So I've only ever said it once and meant it. When I've been in a relationship, it's never felt that huge a deal though. Not sure why but I guess if I'm happy, I'm happy. I don't need someone to say one sentence to me to make it so much better. Sure it's great to hear but it's never felt a huge 'OMG he must say this to me eventually or else he obviously doesn't love me and we are doomed!' sort of thing. I'm just quite happy for it to naturally come about.
It would however scare the crap out of me if someone said it to me very early in a relationship unless of course I felt the same!