I'm going to build a space station

It has been approximately:

1460

Day/s since the last zombie invasion

I would usually say good work but I feel the spontaneous cryo-stasis that has affected the station for the last few years has contributed significantly to this milestone achievement.

Obviously I will still be going to the ZAFTAs and accepting the numerous accolades.

With this in mind, I feel it necessary to step down as HR Director. As the red number above grows so does my responsibility as Director of Zombie Attack Survival. I will be dedicating my time to making sure the station is safe from zombies. I am on season 4 of The Walking Dead and played all of The Last of Us on hard difficulty, so my credentials are not in question.

That and I've lost the files for the organisational chart and imageshack appears to have deleted the 4 year old image. Fortunately I'm no longer responsible.

gord
Director of zombie attack survival and HR
 
godinman said:
By turning your rat 'problem' into a rat 'solution', a ratlution, if you will. Small, rear facing (anus mounted) cameras in every rat on the ship connected with a low powered mesh wifi network powered via electrical induction and general radiation leaks.

With these cameras you'll, er, see. EVERYWHERE. Possibly mainly dark tunnels and other rat faces. Um.

As mentioned, the wifi may be slightly sub-par, but nowhere near as sub par as the camera system isn't!
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Perfect, submit your details to HR and get cracking. The wifi will be dealt with another dept.

No1newts said:
You rejected me so I have planted a bomb on board, it's somewhere but you will never find it until it's too late!

Bwah hahahahaaaaaa!!!!
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It was removed by 2 of the droids last night, unfortunately it detonated and took them both out.
 
The Dread Pirate said:
I'm more concerned with half a deck of the ship just vanishing into thin ai..Vacume at the moment we've got a large portion of the ship missing including the brewery!
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We appear to be in an invisible orbit about 1000 metres off the starboard bow. The Tholian Liqueur and Orion females are to blame but the party is still going strong.

Code 666 will permit engineering to beam aboard and facilitate a rescue.

Commander Massage.
 
This thread.

Amazing. Forgot all about it.

Cosimo said:
We appear to be in an invisible orbit about 1000 metres off the starboard bow. The Tholian Liqueur and Orion females are to blame but the party is still going strong.

Code 666 will permit engineering to beam aboard and facilitate a rescue.

Commander Massage.
Click to expand...

As Commander Massage I would like you to find someone to give me a massage as I have a sore neck from looking through this space telescope scouting out new and interesting planets.
 
As Chief of Starfleet Operations and General Legend, I have taken the responsibility of reminding you all, as we approach the 5 year anniversary of the first crew death in relation to your space venture, of the critical nature of health and safety in space. You should have all had your H&S training and should all know what is expected of you.

I note that .8 of your ship has gone missing. This is of concern to me and whoever has it, please return it before a full scale dreadnought investigation is instigated.

It appears that the HR Director has absconded with the PA of my PA and the Brown Squadron leader without any of them identifying their replacements or facilitating any kind of handover. This is unacceptable. Anyone leaving a post must provide their 90 day notice as well as carrying out a full handover to their subordinate. In the case of The Dread Pirate and peers (if there are any of those in existence) I do not expect you to have or be able to find any subordinates, so you will be expected to pass your responsibilities up the chain. I'm sure the nearest life supporting planet will be able to offer single-celled organisms to fulfill your functions.

Lastly, if any of you are wearing red and are as yet unnamed, I strongly advise yourself to become known before your next planetside visit.

Please refer concerns regarding any of the content of this newsletter to your nearest communications officer.

Gilly.
 
anticonscience said:
This thread.

Amazing. Forgot all about it.

As Commander Massage I would like you to find someone to give me a massage as I have a sore neck from looking through this space telescope scouting out new and interesting planets.
Click to expand...

I have a couple of Orion females waiting to service you when engineering have managed to get us back to the station.

Sick bay have some excellent treatment for a sore neck so give that a try before we're back.
 
In light of recent events, My HR team and I are organising the following courses:

"Hot Alien Chick Handling Course. Part I." (That green lass from Deck 4 will be hosting this in the Staff canteen) (Part II is yet to be field tested. Volunteers are welcome)

"Handling Deck Absences"

"Pets On Board 101"

"Use and Misuse of Holodecks" (The associated course "Spillages and Clean Up Procedures" will be held the following week.)
 
The half of Deck 7 that was misplaced has now been returned to it's rightful location Also I've made some modifications on Deck 5 even though my suggestion to 'ealth and Safty was ignored which have sorted out the Glowing issue if any crew who've visited area are still glowing I suggest you report to medical If anyone requires engineering or Music recording services I'll be in the bar!
 
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