Internet Dating.....Who Has Done it?!

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Seraph said:
is there a yardstick to measure how correct you are about thinking what you deserve and what you really deserve?

that single point always eludes me, and i can't remember how many times i've given it serious thought lol
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Maybe using the word deserve wasn't such a great way to put it. There are many decent guys and girls out there who 'deserve' to be with someone, yet still haven't met someone they've clicked with. This is the way of the world sadly, the only thing you can do is be the best person you can be.

A good starting point would be to give yourself an honest character 'review'. Are you an interesting person, can you hold a conversation, stand by your beliefs and opinions, keep in good shape, confident with who you are, have goals and ambitions, have hobbies etc.

Any positive trait you have, there's no real reason your partner shouldn't. But on the flip-side, if you don't have many positive attributes, you can't realistically expect to find someone who does.

So be honest with yourself, improve yourself to be the best person you can, and you'll deserve the same.
 
Seraph said:
indeed, but knowing yourself isn't enough obviously?
maybe i'm being pedantic, i don't know, just seems that every girl/woman bases everything on looks, and even if your missing some tiny little part in the looks department, your cast aside, do i sound bitter? think i am slightly, why does finding a nice decent woman have to be so bloody difficult,:mad:
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I don't agree with you about women basing everything on looks. Much of it is how you carry yourself and how you project yourself to others.

I went to a house party a few Months ago and wasn't feeling in the mood. So for most of it I sat on the sofa drinking the night away. During the party a girl sat next to me for a while and we had a decent chat about random crap. Afterwards a mate (the host) said that I should have tried harder as that girl was initially interested in me but soon lost it as I didn't have much confidence, mainly down to my mood.

Fast forward to last weekend and I met the same girl at another party. This time I was my usual self and full of energy. I approached her and reintroduced myself however she couldn't remember ever talking to me. An hour later we're still talking and getting on great. So much so that I'm taking her out on Saturday night.

Now, I'm nothing special at all but my mood and attitude when positive were enough to get a date from someone I class as well above my fighting weight. It's something I've only realised recently.

Confidence is king!
 
Seraph said:
indeed, but knowing yourself isn't enough obviously?
maybe i'm being pedantic, i don't know, just seems that every girl/woman bases everything on looks, and even if your missing some tiny little part in the looks department, your cast aside, do i sound bitter? think i am slightly, why does finding a nice decent woman have to be so bloody difficult,:mad:
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Not true i'm afraid, women will usually go for a confident manly man regardless of looks, than a prettyboy who is wetter than a winter shower. I have known many blokes that range from average to ugly, who carry themselves cockily with an air of confidence and they have had many a cracking looking (and intelligent) bird on their arm. It's about how you carry yourself, women are not generally drawn to looks in the same purely visual way that men are with women. our lack of confidence is probably holding you back.
 
mhmmm i get what your all saying, just seems hard to me personally, i've been single for far too long and, well i let negativity get to me, i have some good days but mostly not, i've been better recently, friends have said so too, i stopped signing on, and work for myself so thats boosted me up a fair bit, but at the same time, i live with the stigma of living at home, my dad died in january,

i go with, effort exerted, reward please, i hate trying trying trying, only to get nothing back in return, this even filters down to a simple message, i spent an hour last night putting together 3 decent opening messages together for 3 different women, only to be ignored.

i know i shouldn't let it bother me that much but it does,

think maybe i need to work some more on me my self and i before trying with anyone else?

( ps if i sound like a drama queen etc etc i'm really not lol )
 
It sounds like you have a good idea of what you need to do Seraph. It's tough analysing yourself and it can be pretty destructive if you do it excessively, but sometimes it's just what's necessary.
 
Seraph said:
mhmmm i get what your all saying, just seems hard to me personally, i've been single for far too long and, well i let negativity get to me, i have some good days but mostly not, i've been better recently, friends have said so too, i stopped signing on, and work for myself so thats boosted me up a fair bit, but at the same time, i live with the stigma of living at home, my dad died in january,

i go with, effort exerted, reward please, i hate trying trying trying, only to get nothing back in return, this even filters down to a simple message, i spent an hour last night putting together 3 decent opening messages together for 3 different women, only to be ignored.

i know i shouldn't let it bother me that much but it does,

think maybe i need to work some more on me my self and i before trying with anyone else?

( ps if i sound like a drama queen etc etc i'm really not lol )
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As sorry as I am to say it, to me you really come across as lacking in confidence, and seem (as you say) to look at things negatively. You're right in that until you sort that out, and learn to love yourself a bit more, then I would put the dating game on hold for a bit. And good on you for doing so, because most people don't get as far as analyzing themselves, and it's something I had to learn to do sharpish when I was in the same position.
 
Richdog said:
As sorry as I am to say it, to me you really come across as lacking in confidence, and seem (as you say) to look at things negatively. You're right in that until you sort that out, and learn to love yourself a bit more, then I would put the dating game on hold for a bit. And good on you for doing so, because most people don't get as far as analyzing themselves, and it's something I had to learn to do sharpish when I was in the same position.
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lol oh i've had 7ish years to analyze, think like Zefan said, i dont really do it so much now, but i have in the past, went through a depressed phase about 4 years ago, everything was bad, family, work etc etc found out who my real friends were too, but yeah, guess i need to do some more, i know i have low confidence, i'm not hugely trusting due to being burnt before, always usually analyze nearly everything to try and make sure i have every aspect covered, i hate being suprised because usually the suprise is a bad thing, gah i'm going to shut up now lol
 
Seraph said:
lol oh i've had 7ish years to analyze, think like Zefan said, i dont really do it so much now, but i have in the past, went through a depressed phase about 4 years ago, everything was bad, family, work etc etc found out who my real friends were too, but yeah, guess i need to do some more, i know i have low confidence, i'm not hugely trusting due to being burnt before, always usually analyze nearly everything to try and make sure i have every aspect covered, i hate being suprised because usually the suprise is a bad thing, gah i'm going to shut up now lol
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You're talking to someone who has been there, done that, got the t-shirt. All you need to realise is that you can't spend your life being afraid, and that unexpected things can often be good and exciting. You either start sorting it out and get on with your life, or sit there posting the same thing in 6 months time. It's always easier said than done, but it's also always within your power to change.
 
dear god, now i get messaged by the deranged chav type thing who clearly hasn't read my profile and ' Cba'

little excerpt

' just been chillin wiv ma ***** what r u doing, hows ur day going ' :rolleyes:
 
Well I grabbed my self a payas you go sim, loaded it with some credit and started texting the girl who gave me her number, she's not English, she's from Lithuania and goes back there in two months. I think I may have to run and hide from that one.
 
Well, I had my first date with someone from POF tonight, and my first non-televised date since becoming single.

She's my age (26), originally from Oregon (I LOVE her accent), and able to live in the UK for another 2 years, haha. Anyway, we'd been chatting all week on MSN, must have spoken for nearly 15 hours, as well as various texts. She seemed very to the point, and she didn't seem to get my sense of humour which I was worried about.

Anyway, I'd only seen a few pictures of her and she looked nice. But my God, when I saw her tonight, she looked bloody stunning! She is quite small and petite, which I love, and yeah, she was just 'wow!. Went for a nice drink, felt like I was having to lead the chat quite a lot which I feel I did well enough, we laughed, and it was all good. Went and had some food, she was really quiet during the food but I think she was quite tired from work. She opened up a bit though (not like that).

She livened up a bit towards the end and the chat was good again. Walked her back to the tube and she was asking if I was around tomorrow night, I'm busy so I said not really. She is off to the US on Wednesday for 10 days so we agreed to keep in touch and sort something out for when she is back.

So yeah, I love her.
 
ScarySquirrel said:
No I kept it to myself. I really fall for people quickly though, ok so I don't love her, but I can't stop thinking about her. The date was so short :(
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I was kidding! You better not told you you love on her a first date, this isn't Hollywood!!!

I am happy you found someone else though, and like you, i do fall for someone too easily...its terrible.

p.s. pics!
 
Ahleckz said:
She doesn't sound awesome from your description, sounds pretty boring and not that interested to me. But best of luck nonetheless.
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A girl with a cute accent and good looks can do that to a man. The girl I met in America was awesome in the same ways, however not gf material. Which is a huge shame.
 
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