Internet Dating.....Who Has Done it?!

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Princey said:
Has anyone become an upgraded POF member? Did you notice any difference?
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Thought that was just a con to have more pictures and "be first" on the meet me app, despite the 5 upgraded women I've seen never turn up on the meet me (might be the London catchment are thou).


For a pof shenanigans update, was seeing a girl last month a little bit, then that broke when she announced she really wants a committed relationship fast and didn't see it from me (quite rightly). Amusingly a week of not using pof and as many women who have messages me first in 6 months do it in a week! Gone one texting who seems nice and a date sorted next week with another, it's a strange game this.
 
Currently been having quite an excellent conversation with a very similar person to me, who was almost hounding me and has now suddenly stopped replying (Been over 24 hours since her last). Checked back and see that she is nearly always online, so I deduce she's been messaged by someone better. Sent her a good morning message earlier but no reply so shall start looking elsewhere. It felt like we devouring each other's life story initially, but alas the sudden loss of interest is quite deflating. Biggest reason why I stop using these sites so often.

Anyway, I would like some advice on my profile before I do the rinse and repeat account deletion, until I get bored and poke at it again.

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=40582744

Cheers. *braces self*
 
Firstly pro tip DON'T BADGER WOMEN ON THE INTERNET :p (seriously if they don't message back don't worry they might do eventually and its all about waiting, messaging them a lot makes you seem needy/desperate)

Tip 2, 4 out of the 5 pictures are at a festival and 3 with glasses diversify and show off more normal faces/no glasses...

Take out the bold type as well.

Finally your profile seems to be aimed at attracting men , have you considered this?? (this is a joke incase you are easily offended...)
 
HankScorpio said:
Currently been having quite an excellent conversation with a very similar person to me, who was almost hounding me and has now suddenly stopped replying (Been over 24 hours since her last). Checked back and see that she is nearly always online, so I deduce she's been messaged by someone better. Sent her a good morning message earlier but no reply so shall start looking elsewhere. It felt like we devouring each other's life story initially, but alas the sudden loss of interest is quite deflating. Biggest reason why I stop using these sites so often.

Anyway, I would like some advice on my profile before I do the rinse and repeat account deletion, until I get bored and poke at it again.

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=40582744

Cheers. *braces self*
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with that thing as your main picture? im surprised any girl has replied.. 2nd pic should be your profile pic.
 
HankScorpio said:
Currently been having quite an excellent conversation with a very similar person to me, who was almost hounding me and has now suddenly stopped replying (Been over 24 hours since her last). Checked back and see that she is nearly always online, so I deduce she's been messaged by someone better. Sent her a good morning message earlier but no reply so shall start looking elsewhere. It felt like we devouring each other's life story initially, but alas the sudden loss of interest is quite deflating. Biggest reason why I stop using these sites so often.

Anyway, I would like some advice on my profile before I do the rinse and repeat account deletion, until I get bored and poke at it again.

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=40582744

Cheers. *braces self*
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Set the second pic as your main, delete first, third and fifth, have you got anything that isn't taken at a festival... maybe something like cuddling a dog or something?

And I agree you'd probably be a great guy to go for a pint with but need to try and tailor it more to those oh so lovely ladies...
 
ahaha I see what you mean. Though if I was trying to attract the men I'd focus more on outlining all the anime/PC hardware/video games I'm quite into. Thought the more general focus on music and telly/cooking would appeal to the other sex.

As for the photos I have quite a low count to choose from, since I only really have access to my family photos they take of me. Hardly take a digi cam out with the lads. Will try to take some self photos to replace the ones I've removed also.

pingwing said:
Firstly pro tip DON'T BADGER WOMEN ON THE INTERNET :p (seriously if they don't message back don't worry they might do eventually and its all about waiting, messaging them a lot makes you seem needy/desperate)
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Never ever ever ever done this. I usually wait a day for a reply, even if I see them online. I might send them a hello message the next day, mentioning some ----- like the weather. After that I'll just move on gutted. If they really wanted to go out on a date etc they would respond quite quickly. Seeing them online and not responding is all the confirmation for me, so I always leave it at that.
 
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HankScorpio said:
Never ever ever ever done this. I usually wait a day for a reply, even if I see them online. I might send them a hello message the next day, mentioning some ----- like the weather. After that I'll just move on gutted. If they really wanted to go out on a date etc they would respond quite quickly. Seeing them online and not responding is all the confirmation for me, so I always leave it at that.
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that kind of is badgering, 1 day isn't very long, takes me a few days at best to find time to reply sometimes, however if they're interested then a message like that shouldn't make a difference.

talking about the weather = Zzz btw, maybe that's the issue, they go online to reply, read the message but get knocked out by the content and can never reply as it keeps sending them to sleep. :p

i do appreciate how hard it can be to talk about much else though.

from you posts it sounds like you message one at a time. if so don't do that, message 1000 at a time, that way you may get one to reply if you're lucky (because online dating is hard work not because of you).
 
To add to the VERY sensible advice above, seeing them online on pof is not like seeing someone post on here and looking grumpy at why they haven't gotten back to you yet... (or more relevantly seeing someone on facebook chat but not posting back to your wall post).

Basically the online notification thing represents online in the last hour or so (at a guess) and should never be taken as OMG THEY ARE IGNORING ME AND ARE ON A LOT.

Send women only good interesting messages once, if they don't respond send the good stuff to other women, eventually some will respond/get interesting, it just takes a bit of trial and error. Multi messaging non responders in any situation (unless they do it first and are therefore crazies) is a neddy no-no.

Online dating has lots of hidden rules like real dating, they just make sense when you consider most people don't spend their evening browsing the forums and watching star trek (legit evening, even being honest about it to the right girl they can know, but not something you bring up early if you catch my drift).
 
Feel like a rapist now. I sent a reply to her message to me. Then 30 hours later when I woke up today I sent her a 'good morning' message. Guess that's badgering/harassing. I'll refrain from doing this in the future then. (Though I guess my thought process might have sounded a bit weird/stalker-ish to deduce this)
 
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I do love it how some of you come across as EXPERTS in the dating field with the don't do this and the don't do that. Yet when it comes to the female mind games, anything you use in that rule book wouldn't matter a damn to them.

If a woman thinks your badgering her just because you sent her an extra hello message a day later, then move on, she aint worth your time. If a woman likes you, if she likes your messages, if she really is looking to meet someone then it will just happen, it just feels right. :D
 
Oh and, give this a try which was recommended by others!

http://www.meetup.com/find/

It has both Social and Free dating meet ups, POF is full of ego tripping woman and the other half are butt ugly mingers! If I hear one more " I had a wonderful time, you're a really nice person but " on a date think I think i'll go ***
 
Neil79 said:
I do love it how some of you come across as EXPERTS in the dating field with the don't do this and the don't do that. Yet when it comes to the female mind games, anything you use in that rule book wouldn't matter a damn to them.

If a woman thinks your badgering her just because you sent her an extra hello message a day later, then move on, she aint worth your time. If a woman likes you, if she likes your messages, if she really is looking to meet someone then it will just happen, it just feels right. :D
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:D To be fair he is targeting a similar mid 20's age range to quite a few of us, girls in that age range are pretty easy to guess really, want's a commitment but doesn't want to be forced into it, always wants to wear the trousers on dictating relationship speed but can't be doing it for anything else. Sending loads of messages to one girl isn't being cool/relaxed or like you have someone better going on which most of them want you to be doing to come across as more desirable.

Mid 20's women are depressing, but the point is its clearly not working for Hank Scorpio (cool name) and it's pretty easy to spot what does and doesn't work given his frustrations with it. Solution messages ALL THE WOMEN and be cool if they don't get back to you. ;)

Princey said:
I'm just not getting any views any more or replies to my messages despite girls checking out my profile following the message.

Any tips to improve my below profile?

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=56176581
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(on a roll of advice in hindsight I may not like) Couple of small tweaks, 4 out of the 5 sentences start with I'm, mix it up, even with a few I am, make it a bit more personable, open with a "Hey I'm James" at very least. Also your first 3 sentences are very bland, you must be an interesting person (everyone is) give them something interesting/specific to talk about not just "I'm a typical guy into typical guy things" not going to melt a woman reading that.

Also maybe don't close with "message me to find our more" that is sort of the point of online dating, maybe end with just something nice/not to serious of "so if you like X,Y and Z we would probably get on like a house on fire". Just give them something to smile about you and remember about you.

Bin off the 3rd picture as well, its focused on the other guy and you can only sort of make out its you under the hair ;)
 
Well it turns out I'm meeting up with someone tomorrow. Was messaging her quite a bit a couple weeks ago and we seemed to have loads in common, then she just stopped messaging over a week ago. I'd moved on and when I got a message last night from her asking if I wanted to meet up over the weekend.. Obviously she didn't like whoever it was that she'd binned me off for originally! :D
 
pingwing said:
Firstly pro tip DON'T BADGER WOMEN ON THE INTERNET :p (seriously if they don't message back don't worry they might do eventually and its all about waiting, messaging them a lot makes you seem needy/desperate)

)
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That part any semi intelligent person would know without being told. :p

Get desperate, get ignored.
 
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