Is it all a bit boring?

Orangeade

Orangeade

Orangeade

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I will happily accept that I will probably get snarky comments at this thread but hopefully can have a discussion on it in good faith.

I am a bit bored with it all.

Not in a depressive sense but more just logistically. I am missing a purpose of any real intent and I wonder possibly if its due to the lack of family or if I've just had it too easy?

Caveat:

Life wasn't that easy growing up, difficult circumstances (yawn). But it got better in my 20's had a long relationship so experienced the highs of that. Had the lows of unrequited love. Had the casual relationships.

Enjoyed university immensely, got lucky with careers and my investments, purchased houses, cars, live in the best area, got an income that allows me to buy anything and everything. I'm not young having just left my 20s but still have a lot of energy. So I've been without and now I have, so it's not like I've known no other life...

And I say this with no intention of bragging, almost the opposite as I feel utterly without purpose and thus without any real happiness. There is nothing really to achieve in the hunter gatherer sense of the word of basic survival. I will admit that I work pretty hard, and I don't really have many hobbies outside of that as I see most of them as pointless. (Lots of socialising though..)

I wonder if this malaise is actually stronger in society than we admit, if we all have a it a bit too easy (to varying extents naturally) and if that's why people are becoming more polarised/extreme to give themselves more "passion" or purpose. Feels like people with more "difficult" lives have far more "purpose" or things to aim for? (Very Tolstoy...)

Or is it just an issue with myself? I've toyed with the idea that maybe a family or something might help, but it's a bit of a gamble (and a selfish one at that...) so I'm looking to get other people's experiences and opinions on the matter?

Sorry for the rambling Sunday thoughts.
 
Find a passion, try new things, find a hobby/sport/activity that gives you something to strive for. Make time for it. Dont just dismiss it as pointless or a waste of time. Just keep trying new things and keep trying until you find something you like. Easiest way to start is to find out what your friends enjoy doing and tagging along, you get the social aspect as well as trying out a new potential hobby. If you are in a relationship or are looking for one, its a perfect opportunity to try out new things together.

I've had so many hobbies and interests over the last 15/20 years that I couldnt remember them all. Most I've left by the wayside as I've moved on to other things, others stay with me since my teens. Most of my free time currently is taken up with Fishing and Mountain biking. If i'm back visiting home in Scotland I wont pass up the opportunity for some hill walking.

You need to give yourself purpose, a goal, something to achieve. Its not something that everyone just has. Once you have purpose you will find some sort of satisfaction in life.
 
Bassmansam said:
But you just repeating the same thing, your kids will probably ask the same in 20 years time or so.

I often wonder if animals get bored or they not smart enough to be bored if that makes sense?
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Agreed but maybe possibly I am starting to realise that I am not overly special and that I won't be finding the answer to life. Pass the baton on and all that instead...
 
steve45 said:
Find a passion, try new things, find a hobby/sport/activity that gives you something to strive for. Make time for it. Dont just dismiss it as pointless or a waste of time. Just keep trying new things and keep trying until you find something you like. Easiest way to start is to find out what your friends enjoy doing and tagging along, you get the social aspect as well as trying out a new potential hobby. If you are in a relationship or are looking for one, its a perfect opportunity to try out new things together.

I've had so many hobbies and interests over the last 15/20 years that I couldnt remember them all. Most I've left by the wayside as I've moved on to other things, others stay with me since my teens. Most of my free time currently is taken up with Fishing and Mountain biking. If i'm back visiting home in Scotland I wont pass up the opportunity for some hill walking.

You need to give yourself purpose, a goal, something to achieve. Its not something that everyone just has. Once you have purpose you will find some sort of satisfaction in life.
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I can enjoy such activities (and I have a few) but I would be lying if I ever felt a sense of purpose or point beyond putting in time and enjoying a random evening or weekend from it...
 
op pretty much described my life too.
my view on kids is you shouldn't have them unless you want them, speaking as someone with an estranged dad.
atm I'm a month into a new job, which at least keeps me busy during the day. previous job was just coasting for a while.
 
To be fair I have a lot of children so my days are completely filled with work or children, and believe me when you have 5 of them 4 under 10 you live for your children more then yourself but isn't that what it's all about?

I never have a boring day put it that way lol
 
Tony Edwards said:
Have you thought about taking up stalking? That can be very time consuming Ive heard.
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That requires a lot of effort though. A hardcore addiction to class A drugs can be developed quite quickly and delivers simple but compelling life goals.

Alternatively the Spinemelter 2000 has a proven track record of success:

 
I would only have kids if I was financially well off enough that kids would not affect/make life harder. E.g. can pay for childcare and still do all hobbies/social/holidays stuff I currently do.
 
For the love of god, don’t start a family in order to ‘find a purpose’.

Much like couples in a failing relationship who think a child will save them, it isn’t the answer and ultimately it’s the kid(s) who will suffer.

Find your purpose first, then think about bringing another person into the world.

OP, is this lockdown blues or have you felt like this for a long time?
 
OP, when you say houses, do you mean you still own them or you moved a lot, buying one, staying a short while and then selling before buying another? Same with cars too ? Wondering as you also said you've just left your 20's.
Some people can do those things to stop the boredom but in many cases, need to look elsewhere to stop the boredom (IMO), find other interests.
Not sure having a family would be the answer, to stop the boredom. That can be pretty mundane too. Get married, have a few kinds and find your wife annoys you (or you, her) and the kids are idiots, even if you love them :D. Stuck in a work "must provide for the family" rut for gawd knows however many years to provide for the family (great if that's what you want). I once worked with quite an intelligent chap who left his partner as soon as the kid was born, nearly. I asked "why?" He said their relationship wasn't going too well so they decided to have a kid together to see if it helped. It didn't, how stupid.

One thing could be to take a sabbatical and go travelling, when this virus **** is all over ?
I've always sought an alternative life myself but it can pose its own challenges sometimes. Variety can be the spice of life but it can also be too easy to fall into a rut.
 
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