Is it weird to use someones name when its just you and them?

Errol · 12 Aug 2013 at 16:12

So strange I would normally call the police, tie up the person who did it and lock all the doors.

SfynX · 12 Aug 2013 at 16:24

To me its mainly when someone is giving judgement about me or someone close/I know well.
They want your attention!

Morba · 12 Aug 2013 at 16:29

Devrij said:
I do this a lot, but I'm in sales so I tend to use it as a rapport builder. I don't know if I do it with my friends, but my gf says I only call her by her name when I'm angry.

It's weird because I find that cheesy and bloody annoying when a sales person knows my name and keeps saying it.
I think some place I used to work at said that you should mention the persons name at least 6 times during a phone call to build rapport, I'd find it horrible saying it so much tbh.

httk · 12 Aug 2013 at 16:33

Morba said:
It's weird because I find that cheesy and bloody annoying when a sales person knows my name and keeps saying it.
I think some place I used to work at said that you should mention the persons name at least 6 times during a phone call to build rapport, I'd find it horrible saying it so much tbh.

Yeah, but you're also not the sort of person who's gonna fall for a sales call. In a professioanl way, people use it to prove they know your name and who you are and it works on some people, I just find it funny.

When dealing with friends, I find it a bit weird. I would usually use some sort of nickname, for females friends I just use the word "tubby". They love it!! "What do you want for dinner, tubby?". Classic me.

Morba · 12 Aug 2013 at 16:35

httk said:
Yeah, but you're also not the sort of person who's gonna fall for a sales call.

It's not just sales though, its general customer service over the phone.

blues_r_best · 12 Aug 2013 at 16:57

When people start to get to chummy with me, I like to call them by the wrong name so they know that I really don't care about anything they're saying.

httk · 12 Aug 2013 at 18:23

blues_r_best said:
When people start to get to chummy with me, I like to call them by the wrong name so they know that I really don't care about anything they're saying.

At parties I like to pretend I've forgotten people's names and use just basic descriptors like "tall guy". Again, this is because I'm a doofus.

Liampope · 12 Aug 2013 at 20:49

I think there's sort of a level/range of familiarity where using a name in conversation is acceptable, and either side of that range, it's weird...

Category A - Strangers: Totally weird. E.g. a salesman - just seems fake/creepy because it's not appropriate at this level.

Category B - Colleagues/friends-of-friends/etc: This is when it's appropriate. E.g. 'Morning, Dave'. Fine.

Category C - Good friends: Weird again because not necessary - sounds as if you see them as being only in category B. Use nothing if context allows, or if addressing is required use a friendly salutation/nickname/insult, e.g. 'Hey dude/Boony/knob-face'.

Category D - Partner: Totally ridiculous - wouldn't use my wife's actual name even in the most serious of rows.

/overanalysis

Vertiginous · 12 Aug 2013 at 21:12

If someone uses my name with im alone with them it only ever means that i have done something wrong

Jokester · 12 Aug 2013 at 21:16

Using someone's name when you're talking to them is a fairly obvious tell that you like them more than just friends.

Zefan · 12 Aug 2013 at 21:24

It's one of those lovely weirdo filters that life provides. It's a huge red flag that they are for some reason not socially compatible with me, mainly as I instantly feel like they're a total weirdo. I don't know exactly what's wrong with it, but it makes me feel like they are trying really hard to make sure I like them.

If it's when saying goodbye or hello that's completely different, but any other time is really bloody weird.

Note - this is only applicable for men. It is a total non-issue if a woman does it.

Devrij · 13 Aug 2013 at 18:41

Morba said:
It's weird because I find that cheesy and bloody annoying when a sales person knows my name and keeps saying it.
I think some place I used to work at said that you should mention the persons name at least 6 times during a phone call to build rapport, I'd find it horrible saying it so much tbh.

There's a limit to how many times you can use a person's name without sounding that way. I stay within that limit. It's more so that people know I'm listening. I'm on the phone so it's more important than face to face. You can't demonstrate attentiveness with body language over the phone. It also helps me remember their name (most of my clients are regulars).