Its Joke Time
- Thread starter Zip
- Start date
Kami said:is it too late to add SecretSpy to Zip's Petition?
oi im just trying to actually turn it into a joke thread. i came in here looking for a laugh and all i saw was spam
tut tut you should all be ashamed
edt: i do have a joe pasquale joke that ive just remembered
a policeman is driving along the motorway when he sees an old lady driving at 40 mph. he puts on his sirens and the lady pulls over onto the hard shoulder. he walks up to the car and says to the lady.
"madam, do you know what speed you were doing"
to which she replies "yes i was doing 40 mph"
"but why" asks the police officer
"because we are on the M40" she responds
"no, madam the speed is 70 mph, the motorway number is not the speed that you drive"
just then he notices another lady in the back, her face white as a sheet, her hair sticking up on end
"are you okay there in the back" he asks
to which she replies "we've just come off the A217"
- i'll get my coat
(joe tells it better)
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thats gotta be one of the worst jokes i've ever heard
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basmic said:Please ban all those listed below this line
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Sorry but I actually liked it. *Shrugs*
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basmic said:
For a start, she would say 'Officer, have you seen my dog?'
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Its been a while since I entered such a hateful thread, so I thought I would take the heat off zip for a bit with the following 'joke'.
A woman takes a lover home during the day, while her husband is at work. Unbeknownst to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet.
Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she puts the lover in the closet with the little boy.
The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes it is."
Boy- "I have a baseball."
Man- "That's nice."
Boy- "Want to buy it?"
Man- "No, thanks."
Boy- "My dad's outside."
Man- "OK, how much?"
Boy- "$250."
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.
Boy- "Dark in here."
Man- "Yes, it is."
Boy- "I have a baseball glove."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy- "$750."
Man- "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball back and forth."
The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
The son says "$1,000."
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that.
That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."
They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that **** again."
A woman takes a lover home during the day, while her husband is at work. Unbeknownst to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet.
Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she puts the lover in the closet with the little boy.
The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes it is."
Boy- "I have a baseball."
Man- "That's nice."
Boy- "Want to buy it?"
Man- "No, thanks."
Boy- "My dad's outside."
Man- "OK, how much?"
Boy- "$250."
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.
Boy- "Dark in here."
Man- "Yes, it is."
Boy- "I have a baseball glove."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy- "$750."
Man- "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball back and forth."
The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
The son says "$1,000."
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that.
That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."
They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that **** again."
Last edited:
Please ban zip
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Please ban zip
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