[..] So does anyone on here think that a straight guy who had sex with a trans woman is just regular straight sex as per any other woman?
That depends on what has changed, i.e. what the "trans" part is. If they've changed
sex, then they're female and so it would be straight sex. If they've "changed"
gender, then they're male and so it would be gay sex. A man dressed as a woman is a man. If they want to use a feminine name, fine. If they want me to use a feminine pronoun to refer to them, well, that would be fine
if sex and gender were normally treated as being the completely different things that they are. But they're not, so it isn't. I'll use ungendered personal pronouns. If they don't like being referred to as a person, maybe they should campaign to stop sex and gender being treated as being the same thing.
Calling it "transphobic" is like me calling a man homophobic because he doesn't find penises sexy. It's that degree of nastiness and wrongness.
As for the "hate crimes" stats, they're just politics. They're nothing to do with counting hate crimes. They're about the throughtcrime of disagreeing with a person with enough power.