I assumed from the OP that the girl in the news lately is called Alice, but she's not!
Any defense I made of this joke is hereby revoked, it only would have been funny because of the coincidence of the song being apt, but it's not, so you suck, OP!
Two biscuits walking down a road, and one says to the other, 'Hey, where do you live?' The other biscuit says 'I'm not telling you. You'll steal all my washing.'
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