Just left my girlfriend..feel terrible

Desmo said:
There really is no point in staying in a relationship when you're not happy and you can see no way of changing it.

Exactly. Best bit of advice here.

I would be wary about having the face to face talk though, she's talked you round before, and you say she's manipulative so I'm with Old Wino in thinking you will be talked round again.
 
Nope, you did it the right way to suit you, a letter to tell her what is going on while you get some space to sort out your head.

I would see her f2f but not for a bit and when you do stand firm. have a clear image of what you want and stick to it.

Good luck m8
 
you're gonna have to talk to her in the end

and if you DO get back togeather theres always the make-up sex
 
VeNT said:
and if you DO get back togeather theres always the make-up sex
No no no no no. No thoughts or talk of them getting back together :)
He's split once and then got back together after promises of change. It didn't happen and now he's had to make the split again.
Just stand strong mate and don't let her talk you around to anything. Your mind IS made up :)
 
scratch said:
I'm getting on a bit (27 in a week or so)

ROFL..

27 !!Yep you're over the hill. Forget about ever getting new relationship. You'll be on your own forever.. :rolleyes:

Crumbs you are in the prime of your life!! Why do you feel you have to settle down so young? Take my advice - don't!!

In the meantime, please feel free to have some of my spare years!! :p
 
Desmo said:
No no no no no. No thoughts or talk of them getting back together :)
He's split once and then got back together after promises of change. It didn't happen and now he's had to make the split again.
Just stand strong mate and don't let her talk you around to anything. Your mind IS made up :)
Totally agree. If it ain't working it aint working. If she only puts the effort in when she has to, why will she change?
 
Well it seems the letter idea was more controversial than expected, but at the time it seemed like the best thing to do. It's done now and there's no taking it back. The letter wasn't nasty in any way in case you were wondering!

Not surprisingly I had a terrible night last night..didn't sleep a wink :( I can cope fine while I'm doing something to keep my mind off her but the minute I have my thoughts to myself (ie bedtime) I fall to pieces and can't stop the thoughts bouncing around in my head.

Despite everything that's happened I really do love the woman deeply. Despite all her bad points she has a warm and caring side and that's what keeps dragging me back for more. It's all the negatives about her which have brought me to this situation. Was I being too negative myself by just looking at the bad points and forgetting the good?! Its only now that I'm not with her that I start noticing the good.

An example of one of the bad things that drove me away:

She hates people knowing more than her. If I knew something that she didn't, she would demand proof that I was right. Maybe me knowing more than her made her feel inferior? The stupid thing is that she didn't make any effort to learn information. She's more worried about what the latest bit of gossip is in the celebrity world. While she's watching Big Brother I'm on the net reading forums, learning..and then she makes me feel small for doing so..go figure!!

That is just one of a list of things that does my head in about her. It' not one of those little niggles like her not tidying up after herself..they're still annoying but I'm adult enough to live with them..we all have our weaknesses, but things like the above drive me mad.

I'm going crazy here. I feel like the rope in a tug-of-war match. One team loves her deeply, and the other team wants to let go of the rope for good, but they're both putting up a good fight!

Andy
 
Scratch, seriously... write a list of all her good and bad points. Weigh them up. Look at the list hard. Then think it over.

Then... decide: Do you really want to stay with this women?

No one here can decide that for you.
 
/offers a Piggy Hug :)

I know how you feel , I tried to get the guts to leave my manipulative ex of 6 years for soo long , It actually took me about a year before I finally did the deed and then he managed to get me back

My confidence and self esteem was zero and he knew this so he would put me down and make me feel like I would be on my own if I left him because nobody else would want me

There was a lot of sorting out to do - mortgage etc etc and this did scare me

I finally left him and it really felt like a great weight had been lifted , a black cloud had gone and for the first time in 6 years I actually felt free :)

I was worried about being single and on my own but I thought I would rather be on my own than be stuck in a dead end relationship wasting my precious time

A few years later and I'm the happiest I have EVER been in my life - I'm in a relationship which is getting better and stronger by the day .. It sometimes turns my stomach when I think I could have missed out on this if I didn't get that final kick up my butt to leave

If you're unhappy and you know it's not going to change long term you need to GET OUT and do it NOW .. don't live your life with regrets and be strong :)
 
Looks like you have made up your mind. Tell her you want changes if you are prepared to go back to her (If she will have you back).
 
ACPCUP said:
Tell her you want changes if you are prepared to go back to her (If she will have you back).
He's done that before. She changed for a little while and then went back to what is natural to her. It's hard for people to change and I don't think they can unless THEY really want to. And I'll bet that she doesn't really want to change :/
 
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