Well it seems the letter idea was more controversial than expected, but at the time it seemed like the best thing to do. It's done now and there's no taking it back. The letter wasn't nasty in any way in case you were wondering!
Not surprisingly I had a terrible night last night..didn't sleep a wink
![Frown :( :(](/styles/default/xenforo/vbSmilies/Normal/frown.gif)
I can cope fine while I'm doing something to keep my mind off her but the minute I have my thoughts to myself (ie bedtime) I fall to pieces and can't stop the thoughts bouncing around in my head.
Despite everything that's happened I really do love the woman deeply. Despite all her bad points she has a warm and caring side and that's what keeps dragging me back for more. It's all the negatives about her which have brought me to this situation. Was I being too negative myself by just looking at the bad points and forgetting the good?! Its only now that I'm not with her that I start noticing the good.
An example of one of the bad things that drove me away:
She hates people knowing more than her. If I knew something that she didn't, she would demand proof that I was right. Maybe me knowing more than her made her feel inferior? The stupid thing is that she didn't make any effort to learn information. She's more worried about what the latest bit of gossip is in the celebrity world. While she's watching Big Brother I'm on the net reading forums, learning..and then she makes me feel small for doing so..go figure!!
That is just one of a list of things that does my head in about her. It' not one of those little niggles like her not tidying up after herself..they're still annoying but I'm adult enough to live with them..we all have our weaknesses, but things like the above drive me mad.
I'm going crazy here. I feel like the rope in a tug-of-war match. One team loves her deeply, and the other team wants to let go of the rope for good, but they're both putting up a good fight!
Andy