kids do/say the daftest things

Soldato
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So my step daughter has come up with some down right hilarious things which I thought I would share here.
Thought it would be funny for others to share too, bring some fun into the new year.

Age: 9

Just a few:
Me: What film you watching?
Step Daughter: Honey, I stroked the kids

Further to this told the wife.
Her response, is that the new documentary on Prince Andrew?

Wife was baking cakes and asked my stepdaughter to fill the spoon with butter,
Wife turned around spoon empty.
Wife said to child I asked you to fill the spoon.
Child replied: I did.
Wife said: no you didn't its empty
Child said: yes I did & felt the spoon, (rubbing it like a genie & feeling it)

Took my stepdaughter to Thai restaurant, she picked a Duck Meal covered in Hoisin Sauce
She took a bite, her face went funny & she replied "its a bit pingy in your face"

Now has become a staple for all weird tastes in our households
 
Was at a softplay with my 6 year old son a couple of years ago (he's 9 now). I was sat watching him run around and he stopped abruptly to read a safety sign on the wall of the area near the big slides. He then trotted back across to me, took his glasses off and put them on the table saying 'Daddy, I am not supposed to wear these in there as it says 'No glasses permitted within the play area'.

Underneath that line it stated 'Plastic cups and bottles only'. :D
 
Was at a softplay with my 6 year old son a couple of years ago (he's 9 now). I was sat watching him run around and he stopped abruptly to read a safety sign on the wall of the area near the big slides. He then trotted back across to me, took his glasses off and put them on the table saying 'Daddy, I am not supposed to wear these in there as it says 'No glasses permitted within the play area'.

Underneath that line it stated 'Plastic cups and bottles only'. :D
legend :D
 
I may have mentioned this one before, if it seems familiar, move on.
My elder son married a German girl, and has lived there for more than 30 years, with a 7 year break in Australia.
When his elder son was 8, he started having English lessons at school, although he was virtually fluent, as my son used to speak English to him, but German was the “lingual franca” in the family home.
One day my grandson came home with a note from his teacher, asking my daughter-in-law to come to the school.
The teacher said that she was teaching the kids verbs, e.g. to be, I am, you are, he/she is, they are, etc., then she moved on to the negative, I am not, he/she is not, they are not.
My grandson raised his hand and said, “Mein opa, (my grandpa), says I ain’t.”
The teacher said, “Then your grandpa is saying something wrong.”
He replied, “Oh no, my grandpa is a Black Cab driver in London, he told me that they are never wrong!”
 
Changing 2yo son's nappy the other day and we're starting to try potty training and part of that is them recognising what poo is, so it helps to show it to them apparently.

Anyway, upon inspection he declared it a 'meatball poo', literally out of nowhere. We haven't eaten meatballs in weeks. Maybe just the appearance. This may sound odd to read but it floored us.
 
Today lobbing sweets at the childs head.

I walk out the room. Child goes I give you permission to shoot it in my mouth...

What does one say to a child saying such things. I kept quiet....
 
When I was looking after one of my nieces (Think she was about 5 yo) we were sat watching a movie when she randomly blurted out that it was muff day that day :o

I thought I'd perhaps misheard so asked her and she said "It was muff day today at school" i made sure to correct her that it's called "mufti" day :D
 
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Daughter 1: Just LOL if you think you're setting a good Internet example for us to learn from as we grow and evolve into confident and capable young women.

Me: LOL

Daughter 2: Just LOL.

Daughter 1: Just LOL

©mags
 
When I was looking after one of my nieces (Think she was about 5 yo) we were sat watching a movie when she randomly blurted out that it was muff day that day :o

I thought I'd perhaps misheard so asked her and she said "It was muff day today at school" i made sure to correct her that it's called "mufty" day :D

I had to look that up! Even our daughter's school just says none uniform day unless that's something else entirely? :p
 
My wife has started logging the ones that my 4 year old comes out with, strangely my daight didn't have as many funny ones. Anyway here goes;

My personal favourite, upon seeing some uht pots in the hotel room when we away earlier this year, he called them mini yoghurts:D.

Once when my son was screeching loudly in the car, I asked him to be quiet as it's a small space. His reply was get a bigger car then:D.

She's still in bed, I'll post the full list. I do fintld it funny when they mishear things:p.

Oh 1 they both ask, is watching music videos/top of the type program, why are none of those girls wearing t shirts (basically the formal version of a bikini sort of attire), makes me chuckle.
 
The car one reminds me of one of my nephews when he was about 5. My mum used to collect him from nursery and they used to walk as she couldn't drive. Eventually she learned and passed her test so when he started primary school she was also able to help my sister out and pick him up.

On the first day she collected him, he thought they were walking back home. She told him no she had the car. He asked her if she was driving and she said yes, to which he replied "hmm I think it might be better if we walk" :D

I admit I do usually get the kids to wind my mum up but I hadn't even warned him of her driving so he was already wise to it

Last Jan I was with my niece and nephew and my mum in a toy store. I was near my mum and suddenly there was this God awful smell, I think it was the woman who quickly scurried away but I asked my mum quietly "have you done something?" She adamantly replied no. We both turned to walk away and my niece shouted at the top of her lungs "quick, get a gas mask Nanny's farted!" :D

My mum was mortified and of course I just cracked up laughing which unfortunately encouraged my niece to carry on saying it until we left lol
 
I did let out a massive fart the other day (was hilarious:D) and this was the kids response.

y4m9Ca3RJtQ622eDRyES3NHiOI3HRx5kiGnDwl1XV6mPfoBfELjOo9DydzWUNTp1NnYubdeHn9b-C4P1jTP6t5-3goyJWowXJw5YoyqOHi47zRrWUqiM2HJ0iWLITpklkM3okMv-BkY2jhTDBAOUMqyQrw6mUtNDFmMF2r_sfi37UiV7NAZC-EUum-Z2I9rPrDF
 
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