Soldato
This was myself being maybe a little naive as a 5yo but my Grandad worked as a carpenter at a stately home in Cheshire. As we drove past one day he mentioned that he worked there and for some reason I thought that he must be a butler, which is all I could tell my mum, dad, nan & anyone who asked etc.
My family didn't bother to correct me til I was a teenager too, the gits!
My family didn't bother to correct me til I was a teenager too, the gits!
Caporegime
My great-grandad was the head groundsman at a mental asylum. My great-grandma the head cook.
Whenever I mention to people that I have memories of going there to see them as a very young child it's amazing how often they state they didn't know the patients were allowed to marry and raise children...
Soldato
My daughter came out with a classic earlier in summer, her (6) and my eldest (8) and my niece (5) were fighting and squabbling, whilst i was on a teams meeting. I lost the plot with all 3 of them and went postal, i told all 3 of them to move to different corners of the room, and I said it needs be 2m distancing just like Boris said. My 6 year looks up at me and blurts out.............but Boris said its 1m plus now, I didnt know whether to laugh or cry 
I could write a book on some of eclectic convo's ive had with my kids.
I could write a book on some of eclectic convo's ive had with my kids.
That's a classic.My daughter came out with a classic earlier in summer, her (6) and my eldest (8) and my niece (5) were fighting and squabbling, whilst i was on a teams meeting. I lost the plot with all 3 of them and went postal, i told all 3 of them to move to different corners of the room, and I said it needs be 2m distancing just like Boris said. My 6 year looks up at me and blurts out.............but Boris said its 1m plus now, I didnt know whether to laugh or cry
I could write a book on some of eclectic convo's ive had with my kids.
My step daughter saw Boris on the box and shouted "go back to primary school then be with people with the same iq"
Associate
Kid still learning read back during the '98 World Cup. Has a go at the back of the cornflakes packet with pictures of various players. First up is Paul Scholes - "Pantsy Solac, of Eggley". He's been known as that in our house ever since.
Soldato
This has me chuckling, the simplest ones are the best. Our eldest is almost 3 years old and he's endlessly coming up with reasons why he can't go to bed. "It's a bit tricky" was last night's effort.My son (5 at the time) recently complained he couldn't get to sleep because his eyes were too hot
When I was a kid we had a dressing up box of old pyjamas and bits from toy kits, I dressed my brother up and marched him into the kitchen declaring to my parents that he was a "Roman Viking". My mum told me that the Romans and the Vikings were different people from different times to which I replied, "He's a mongrel then".
Caporegime
My sister was comedy gold when she was younger.
Moving to London from the North East she'd never seen a black person before. As a result she declared them to be 'chocolate people' despite my mums most ardent protests.
Sat on a bus one day and a lady sits across from us. With no qualms she says "hello chocolate lady". This lady, somewhat taken aback responded with "you can get white chocolate too". My sisters response cracked her up however "yeah but I dont like white chocolate".
How to innocently offend someone and then win them over in the space of 30 seconds.
Moving to London from the North East she'd never seen a black person before. As a result she declared them to be 'chocolate people' despite my mums most ardent protests.
Sat on a bus one day and a lady sits across from us. With no qualms she says "hello chocolate lady". This lady, somewhat taken aback responded with "you can get white chocolate too". My sisters response cracked her up however "yeah but I dont like white chocolate".
How to innocently offend someone and then win them over in the space of 30 seconds.
Soldato
How to politicise a thread about kids saying funny things, bore off.
Man of Honour
We were home on leave in Cornwall and staying with my wife's (now ex wife) parents and her father was losing his hair. Her mother jokingly said that soon he will be as bald as a coot. My youngest who was around 4 at the time heard this and we had to explain to hime that it was a bird that looks to have a bald head. Leave ended and we went back to Norfolk where I was stationed. Our first shopping trip back we were in Tesco in Kings lynn which was very busy at the time. My youngest started pulling on my jacket to get my attention and just blurted out "daddy, that man is as bald as a coot" while pointing at the biggest man mountain in the shop. Everyone started laughing apart from us and this poor chap who we rather embarrassingly tried to explain how he had picked that saying up and apologised before I got pummelled. Yes, kids do say the funniest things although at the time it may not be particularly amusing.
Sometimes we would also get to the checkout and come across items that neither of us were putting in. Eventually we caught our youngest red handed who was sitting in the child seat on the trolley at the time. he was only picking random stuff off the shelf and putting them in the trolley when we weren't looking!!
Sometimes we would also get to the checkout and come across items that neither of us were putting in. Eventually we caught our youngest red handed who was sitting in the child seat on the trolley at the time. he was only picking random stuff off the shelf and putting them in the trolley when we weren't looking!!
That topping up the trolley thing that your youngest did, got me barred from going to Waitrose with my wife, “Where did that bottle of Grey Goose come from?, or, “Sourdough bread?, did I pick that up by mistake?”
I was confined to the house, with instructions to wait until she returned and backed up the drive, then come down and unload the bags, but with the advent of Covid, we now have a weekly delivery.
This is ordered via an app on her phone, and as her thumbprint is needed to access the phone, I can’t slip extra stuff in, goddam it!
My wife is a teacher, she been hearing al sorts of reasons they are not submitting work via Google classroom.
The best is we only have an Xbox one
My wife reply destroyed their souls today "Xbox now fully supports Google classroom via Microsoft edge. Look forward to seeing your submission for all your work tomorrow
The best is we only have an Xbox one
My wife reply destroyed their souls today "Xbox now fully supports Google classroom via Microsoft edge. Look forward to seeing your submission for all your work tomorrow
built a pc with the child yesterday for the birthday & we went through the process of installing Linux (Mint) Wifi did not work. So i showed her how to build Drivers in Linux. she likes the customization & speed of mint thus far!
Kid today:
Runs into the living room. My PC Smells Minty Fresh!
Kid today:
Runs into the living room. My PC Smells Minty Fresh!
Soldato
- Joined
- 27 Mar 2013
- Posts
- 9,316
Kids were playing around yesterday (can get rough with each other) and we just heard my son say "ow my todger". Me and my Mrs were in stitches.
Soldato
When she was around 6 or 7 niece was playing tug of war with my German shepherd called Millhouse.
she looked at me and said “Harry watch me and millhouse tug one out” in 6-7 year old English.
I hadn’t laughed so much in a long time and it was even funnier watching her mother try to explain what I was laughing at in a child friendly lie.
she looked at me and said “Harry watch me and millhouse tug one out” in 6-7 year old English.
I hadn’t laughed so much in a long time and it was even funnier watching her mother try to explain what I was laughing at in a child friendly lie.