kids do/say the daftest things

Had the best one tonight...

Stepdaughter loves watching top gear and grand tour specials. She said can we watch the boat special. I scroll to an episode and click play on the wrong one.

She screams no I wanted the SEAMAN. We both hid our faces and laughed.
 
Had the best one tonight...

Stepdaughter loves watching top gear and grand tour specials. She said can we watch the boat special. I scroll to an episode and click play on the wrong one.

She screams no I wanted the SEAMAN. We both hid our faces and laughed.
It's the innocent ones that are the best.
 
We were about to play a game with my 3 year old.

He looked at me and my wife and said "are you ready?" followed by a pause. Just as me and my wife were about to say "yes" he added "to looooose".

"are you ready..... to looooose"

Great comic timing.
 
My 7 year old asked me tonight why don't I get a rechargeable car as the ice caps are melting and the polar bears are dying:p. Had she been a bit older my response would have been "ill get one but it means no more christmas and birthday presents"
 
My step daughter said i really need your help with somthing, walked in her room shes struggling to put box on top of her wardrobe.so took the box & went to put it on the wardrobe when she said: 'i can help you get it up too'
 
My son just came out with a corker. We have these soft balls for the kids to play with, I'm sure you know the type. He's just said to md "I'm going to play with my little balls":D.
 
Just found the below on Reddit though this thread would appreciate it

TIFU by learning that my toddler made up their own way of swearing at me and has been telling me to f off for a while.

So the build up to this **** up...

I work out at home and have done since my child was born. I like to work out to music and there is one particular song that for some reason really helps me get in the mood to squat. It's a song that I'd played for some time without question until 4 months ago because it has a few swear words in it.

My child had been listening to the song a lot more because they recently got into dancing to my music, I realised this when they repeated some of the lyrics and I explained to them why sometimes there are words that we don't use and why ect.

My child is very emotionally in tune and can express themselves very well. So after this conversation they were very alert to any 'naughty' words, so if they hear anyone swear now they will tell them it's not okay.

Let's fast forward to a few weeks ago, my child is now having a lot of big feelings that are resulting in big tantrums. Tantrums where they start lifting their fingers up and crossing them over into the shape of an X, and then saying 'off mummy, off' while moving this little X made of fingers in my direction. That confused me for a bit I must admit.

Then came the realisation.

We were sat down eating dinner and I said the dreaded word that every toddler hates - 'no'. That one word started something that let me know how intelligent my toddler really is. My toddler lifted their fingers, crossed them over, stared at me and said 'x off mummy'. I sat there for a minute while it dawned on me.

I composed myself, and then I asked if 'X' meant something else? My toddler silently nodded while staring at me... I asked what it meant and I was met with 'I can't tell you, it's a naughty word mummy'. This was all the confirmation that I needed but I knew I still had to continue to address this issue.

I asked if 'X' was the same word from the song. My toddler broke out laughing, smiled at me and said 'yes mummy'. They had been telling me to **** off in their own very unique way during tantrums for a few weeks now, and I didn't have any idea until it dawned on me that X had another meaning.

TL;DR Toddler repeated a swear word, and got told not to use swear words. Toddler then created their own swear word in response and had been swearing at me for a few weeks
 
After just being told no when asking if we can get a cat, my 4yo daughter warned me that "I'll haunt your dreams". It sounds horrible when i write it here but she said it in jest.

We have a cat now though....
 
After just being told no when asking if we can get a cat, my 4yo daughter warned me that "I'll haunt your dreams". It sounds horrible when i write it here but she said it in jest.

We have a cat now though....

Haha :D

My mum told me that when my eldest sister was little she would come into their room and just stand by the bed watching my mum. My mum wouldn't hear her come in but would eventually wake and just see a pair of eyes staring back lol
.....

I remember one occasion my mum and I took my brothers kids out for the day, just to the shops. Him and his ex wife had had a bad split, the ex was being a **** about a lot of stuff and she was also drinking heavily. Making threats etc. There was usually mention of police as things had got so bad and on this one particular day out with the kids we were pulling into a supermarket when we heard several sirens going by.

One of my nephews asked "is that sirens?" And his older brother (think he was 7 at the time) replied "Yeah, it's the police, they're gonna arrest mum"

My mum and I just sat there trying so hard not to laugh lol

Just remembered another from when my niece was maybe 4.
Her : *pulls Xmas cracker and gets excited with what's inside*
Me: do you know what that is
Her : (all excited and happy) yeah !!!
Me: what is it?
Her: mine

:D

it was a cookie cutter but Every time I told her that she'd reply "no, it's mine!" And the more I corrected her the more she got annoyed lol
 
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Another bump, was discussing boiled sweets with my daughter and she came out with "but I've sucked stuff before", just glad it was in the car and not somewhere public:D.
 
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