I'm curious, do any of you guys ever get angry at your partners? Like all women, my OH can be a bit emotionally unstable at times. Normally I'm the nice guy, and just let her have ger way, but if she goes to far, I do get angry and put my foot down. The most this has meant so far is shouting her down, and even thats rare, but if I found my pillow at the top of the stairs, I would take it into the bedroom and tell her she can sleep on the sofa if she wants. That one about the vacuuming with the lights on? I would simly cut the cord off the vacuum, take the buld out the light and go back to sleep.
Why am i saying this? well, for years I believed that it was not acceptable for me to get angry at a woman, and I was never respected for it. I never ran across an abuser in that time, but if I did, I'm sure I would have fared badly. I suspect that the op and the sgt are both the type to NOT get angry at their women, which is why they can get away with it.
Oh, one other thing. I have had partners strike me in the past, in the heat of an argument. Hitting back is not acceptable, BUT, taking them to the ground (or the sofa) and pinning them is fine. Once she learns the being violent results in her being physically dominated, she will stop doing it.
I'm sure that people will flame me for what I have said, but I'm talking about the extremes, not every day. hell, not every month even, but rarely, when you need to assert yourself, or for the last statement, when she gets violent. For me at least, the result is this: I am in charge of my relationship. This means that she gets her way 99 times out of 100. But when, on time 100, when she is being unreasonable, I can, and do, have the final say.
So whats my point? Flip your situation. She is in control and abusing her power. Take the power from her. Shout her down, refuse to take her bank card to her, do NOT tolerate violence. If she dosen't like it, tell her she can leave. Once you are in control, ensure you think about both of your needs. Once she dosn't demand her own way anymore, feel free to give in to her sometimes. You should be making her happy. She should not be making herself happy at your expense.
![[FnG]magnolia](/styles/overclockers/avatars/9.png){kind=avatar}
I remember getting constantly smacked and shaken, then one day I slapped my mum back and voila she stopped hitting me. She is a lovely woman and much less 'guilt tripping' than she used to be, but when we were going through those tough times (the age of 7-14), man she was bad!
