Leaving boring conversations

Lysander said:
How do you do it? You know, there are people you meet sometimes who just go on and on and on about nothing of importance, just relishing in the fact that they're talking. What do you do to get out of it?

Sometimes I just make an excuse and leave or interrupt them, though it's not always that easy. Waiting for a "break" in their dialogue so you can wrap it up often just draws it out even longer. I would be interested to see what other peoples' tactics are.
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i know at least 2 people in my life that do this DAILY

the ones that work for me are:
* Disagree with anything they have said even if you do agree
Say "yeh but I don't agree with that", at least the people I know are shocked & either chat to someone else that does agree then i walk away
OR they try to keep think of a reason to be against you. Then i say, while your thinking just going to Do X" & never return

* Just walk away because somone "called you"

* change the subject sharply, they have no idea about, & they often stop talking sometimes they walk away
 
"I'm not bothered about celebrity gossip or what happens on love island, why is it even relevant? why get your self so invested in a strangers life. is it because your own is so empty? ahh yes I see why the others try to avoid you."
then slowly walk backwards

I think some people are terrified of silence, It must be social anxiety or a desperation to belong

you don't need to constantly try to have something to talk about, it's better to converse less but be more interesting so people want to be around you more...
 
My manager, a person for whom my respect is rapidly dwindling, talks a lot. He's one of those people who will spend 6 weeks talking about something that could be resolved in a day or two and then still not get it done. When he enters his waffle mode I tend to just some up with an excuse to leave. If there are other people involved in the conversation I'll occasionally just walk out. My time's too precious to deal with people who spend 99% of their career waffling.
 
Talk about something crazy so they'll never bore you again. Conspiracy theories are a good one. They usually stop talking then.

Oh, I'm going to an EDL rally at the weekend.

Or If you can't be bothered, just walk away.
 
We had a guy we lived with at uni that would do this. He’d just walk in to your room with his laptop and be like have you seen this <some comedian> and try to get you to watch a 30 minute YouTube clip. And go on and on and on. In the end we’d made a sort of game out of it. We’d walk and talk with him into someone else’s room. Get them involved in the conversation, and then leave the other person would be very aware of what you were doing and be very annoyed about it but couldn’t do anything about it.
 
Martynt74 said:
Made worse when you're on a bus/train.

Luckily those days are over, but there's nothing worse than someone coming and sitting next to you, then after 5 minutes of catching up, you realise you each have nothing in common and it's an awkward silence for the remainder of the trip since you've put your book away/removed headphones and it's awkward putting them back in!
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Lol we've all been in these situations.
 
Zefan said:
I'm naturally quite agreeable so this is something I've had to (and continue to) actively work on to overcome. It can feel awkward, but if someone isn't picking up on the natural "wow, you're going on a bit" signals, then they're actually the ones that are being rude. In those cases, I try to remember that allowing it to continue is reinforcing the behaviour, and that they're likely experiencing being cut off a lot so they won't feel the awkwardness of it as much as you do. Then, it's as simple as saying "Mate, I'm going to have to cut this short as I really have to go, see ya."
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Thats pretty much it signals which are usually subtle but if they're not picking up it becomes a bit more insistent. Funnily enough was in just this situation today had to meet boss at a site the site manager and he start on a conversation that doesn't involve me and I'm increasingly getting the urge to say "we'll this has been great, got to go!" but its the boss so subtle and not so subtle signals have to suffice. Anyway I think they got the message and it ended whereupon the boss started himself outside at which point I said "got to go I've somewhere else to visit" which was actually true.

It wouldn't be so bad if I was getting paid for it but this was in my spare time...
 
It's pretty rare I even have this situation. Maybe I'm just really tolerant but I don't find many conversations boring. There might be some I don't feel I can contribute to but I can't think of many times I've wanted to exit. Maybe an ex work colleague who was Irish and would go on about various issues with her vast family back home for ages. Usually I could make an excuse like needing to catch a train or whatever.
 
Lysander said:
How do you do it? You know, there are people you meet sometimes who just go on and on and on about nothing of importance, just relishing in the fact that they're talking. What do you do to get out of it?

Sometimes I just make an excuse and leave or interrupt them, though it's not always that easy. Waiting for a "break" in their dialogue so you can wrap it up often just draws it out even longer. I would be interested to see what other peoples' tactics are.
Click to expand...

Zefan said:
I'm naturally quite agreeable so this is something I've had to (and continue to) actively work on to overcome. It can feel awkward, but if someone isn't picking up on the natural "wow, you're going on a bit" signals, then they're actually the ones that are being rude. In those cases, I try to remember that allowing it to continue is reinforcing the behaviour, and that they're likely experiencing being cut off a lot so they won't feel the awkwardness of it as much as you do. Then, it's as simple as saying "Mate, I'm going to have to cut this short as I really have to go, see ya."
Click to expand...

This is me, but not for the reasons you think.

I actually hate having to talk. I hate it because I'm just bad at having conversations. Knowing that I'm crap at conversations, I babble. I make the mistake of just saying as much nonsense as I can just to keep (the illusion of) the conversation going.

Actually, it's not a conversation. I lost the other person's interest almost immediately. They are now you, trying to get away. They are not stimulated or interested. Also, I know this. I know I'm floundering in an ocean of pee. I know I'm drowning in it. I just can't stop myself from babbling away, but always I'm 100% aware and fully conscious that I'm dying on my arse and this is possibly the worst conversation in the history of human communication.

I'm relieved when the other person says, "Nice to catch up. Speak to you soon!" It's a lie, of course. It was anything but nice. They weren't engaged and they had to politely listen to the worst horse poo they've heard in ages.

I'm truly, deeply sorry that I put them through it. It stressed me out as much as it bored them. I hated it too.
 
FoxEye said:
This is me, but not for the reasons you think.

I actually hate having to talk. I hate it because I'm just bad at having conversations. Knowing that I'm crap at conversations, I babble. I make the mistake of just saying as much nonsense as I can just to keep (the illusion of) the conversation going.

Actually, it's not a conversation. I lost the other person's interest almost immediately. They are now you, trying to get away. They are not stimulated or interested. Also, I know this. I know I'm floundering in an ocean of pee. I know I'm drowning in it. I just can't stop myself from babbling away, but always I'm 100% aware and fully conscious that I'm dying on my arse and this is possibly the worst conversation in the history of human communication.

I'm relieved when the other person says, "Nice to catch up. Speak to you soon!" It's a lie, of course. It was anything but nice. They weren't engaged and they had to politely listen to the worst horse poo they've heard in ages.

I'm truly, deeply sorry that I put them through it. It stressed me out as much as it bored them. I hated it too.
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Fascinating stuff. Very interesting perspective. How often does this happen?
 
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