I would like to revive some 18th/19th century medical terminology for no reason other than it sounds cool.
Hangover? You're experiencing a fit of delerium tremens.
Syphillis? No, you have bad blood.
Meningitis? Wrong. Brain fever.
You think you have tuberculosis? You don't, you have a dose of the consumption.
Epilepsy? You have falling sickness!
The great medical practicioners of old have given me a hankering for some Lockjaw, Hectic Fever, Brain Mania, Screws of the joints, Softening of the Brain, St. Anthony's Fire or indeed some White Leg.