Longterm friend in dire need of help, what to do?

WoZZeR

WoZZeR

WoZZeR

Associate
Joined
19 Jan 2007
Posts
2,065
Location
Northampton
My partner and I have known a friend for over 25 years, this friend is now 76 and failing health.

He has always been extremely untidy and a bit of a hoarder.

He was admitted to hospital a couple of years ago after a fall at home and whilst he was in hospital we in conjunction with other friends of his contacted Social Services regarding the filth and squalor of his home.

They were extremely concerned and arranged a cleaning specialist to sort the place out. Unfortunately our elderly chum managed to block this by essentially paying off the cleaning company.

Fast forward to now, his health is worse, the filth and squalor is astonishing, it is impossible to navigate the house safely. (Can supply photographs from 2 years ago to genuine respondents)

It is impossible to help him, I've tried going round to tidy up but to no avail.

We are unable to get any help as he needs to be referred by his GP.

Obviously we want our friend to be happy so don't want to cause any stress but leaving him to rot in a stinking cesspit of grime and filth preys on our mind.

What do we do OCUK :confused:
 
Do you know what their GP practice is? If you do, you can arrange a GP visit on behalf of the patient by phoning said GP. Providing photo evidence will help.

Source: I asked the clinical nursing lead next door, lolz
 
Last edited:
WoZZeR said:
What do we do OCUK :confused:
Click to expand...
Maybe that the way he likes his house to be...

I think some people would a heart attack if they seen some the crap i keep..:cry:
For example many times even one half of my double bed is piled up with boxes, and all sorts of stuff and i sleep on the other side :cry:
 
Last edited:
Doesn't sound like there's much else you can do? Sounds like he likes the cesspit and you don't? It's his cesspit.
 
Last edited:
As above, important to know if he is of sound mind (in your opinion). If he is, not much you can do even if it is affecting his health.

If you suspect he's not, I'd just contact social services again and inform them the cleaning was not done.
 
Are the living conditions a real potential health risk? ie Are the kitchen and toilet sanitary or not?
If so then I'd suggest the GP route as above, or social services again.
If not then leave him to it, his choice sadly.
 
What is he hoarding that is causing the house to be filthy? I can understand if it's boxes because they can accumulate and you're never 100% sure whether you're going to keep the item, sell it later on, or if it has a warranty etc. I can also understand if it's books as you'll want to collect more if you're a bookworm and/or hang onto your childhood books if they have sentimental value.

I don't really get hoarding for anything else though.

I for example have numerous semi-professional stage lights in my lounge that run on DMX (the same protocol as what nigthclub lights use). I have over 20 now which is a lot, but they're on surfaces, along the edges of the room with wires tucked away via cable management and the surfaces are stable so not to present any fire or health risks, so I don't consider my collection to be a problem and I'm not collecting any more.
 
Pawnless Endgame said:
What is he hoarding that is causing the house to be filthy?
Click to expand...

He has NEVER cleaned his house. The (originally cream) Carpet is black and sticky.
We've found opened (and moldy) soup cans behind his armchair.
He can't have a bath 'cause it's full of junk (he goes to a Gym once a week to have a shower).
His kitchen is filthy (he has been in the same house for about twenty years and has never cleaned any of the kitchen work services).
The fridge/freezer door can not be closed because of ice build-up.
We found a can of fruit in one of the cupboards that was some ten years past the use-by date, the 15 year old Tesco Value Spaghetti was a great find!
The Ivy outside his house is growing up the lounge wall on the inside. You have to walk sideways around the old newspapers, cds, bottles and junk to get anywhere.
 
Mrwong said:
He may not like the state of your house. You are over stepping.
Click to expand...

You might have been making a reasonable point. But...

WoZZeR said:
The Ivy outside his house is growing up the lounge wall on the inside.
Click to expand...

...I think once the ivy has migrated from outside to inside it's fair to say that there's a problem.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom