Longterm friend in dire need of help, what to do?

[Efour]

I'd say poop through his letterbox, but this might be the one time it won't help.

It's a common problem, breaking his environment at that age will probably end him.

My mum is starting to get like this, saving everything. Keeping everything within arm's reach always ... It's bizarre, she's no where near dangerous levels. Try to help or have queries why she does it? She'll defend her actions ferociously.

 

[shadow_boxer]

If your friend has capacity and choses to live this way, however unpleasant it may seem to anyone else and he understands the associated risks (be it health or falls etc) then that is his free will and choice. This is no role for GP apart from ensuring he has capacity (which can be done by social services too) and sign posting. Unfortunately, there isn't much you or anyone can do.

 

[Terminal_Boy]

Unless the friend has asked for help, don’t offer it.

 

[Mrwong]

You are honestly one of the most misguided posters I've seen here recently. Your opinions are dangerously ignorant.

Sorry it is hard for some to accept the truth, the reality. You think I am misguided, offer a solution that works, you can not as there is no other solution.

All these do gooders always complain.
It is his life, how would you like someone telling you they don't like the way you live, and force you to change, because it does not fit in with your lifestyle.

 

[WoZZeR]

Just a little update:

Went round to my friends this morning on a planned visit to help him tidy up a bit and found him lying on the floor again, he had slipped on all the magazines and newspapers and had spent the entire night stuck on the cold filthy floor.

He was stuck behind the living room door so I had to move a huge pile of stuff to clear a way through to get into the living room and get him back on his feet.

I spent a couple of hours with him, cleared the floor a fair bit, sorting out the rubbish, empty fast food containers, magazines he wanted to keep and those for the bin. The floor was pretty grim, dropped food along with curious and unpleasant looking stains and lumps.

Over the last month or so he has written a plan of action for the next few months involving sorting out his affairs and tidying his house a little, this wasn't a result of our pestering him, he did this by himself.

His mobility has declined very quickly, I think he sleeps in the living room chair, he clearly can't always make it upstairs in time when a No 2 calls although for widdles he uses the back yard.

Hopefully he will continue his progress with the house tidying but I will try and encourage him to get some emergency device to alert us if he is in a bit of a bother.

 

[Lean]

Tricky call on your behalf. You know him. Not being harsh there but us randoms who are commenting are little too no good to you. Good luck

 

[Gepetto]

Well done on trying to support him. I think it's a big step that he has actually started on a plan for himself. If you can help him get started then hopefully the intent will continue. Keep it up, and good luck.

 

[Thekwango]

fair play to you, I imagine it’s a pretty grim place to be living if he’s doing his number 2’s just where he’s sat!

 

[FoxEye]

Sorely nobody of ‘sound mind’ chooses to live in squalor. I’d bet good money the old boy has some sort of mental health problem.

As our safeguarding training keeps hammering into us, these issues can stem from many causes.

Mental illness is one, pride is another, stubbornness. Even shame.

There are many reasons people might do things that they wouldn't necessarily "choose" for themselves.

 

[jigger]

I’d just talk to him and offer whatever support you can/he is comfortable with.

 

[Emlyn_Dewar]

Just a little update:

Went round to my friends this morning on a planned visit to help him tidy up a bit and found him lying on the floor again, he had slipped on all the magazines and newspapers and had spent the entire night stuck on the cold filthy floor.

He was stuck behind the living room door so I had to move a huge pile of stuff to clear a way through to get into the living room and get him back on his feet.

I think the sentiments of "his house, his life" sort of fall apart when it gets like this. When the house is legitimately dangerous for the occupier, and those who may need to go in and provide support, then it needs something done.
You're a good person for trying to help out, and it's a difficult situation to deal with. Hopefully his action plan works out, and he can live a little more comfortably.