Lost Siblings

Burnsy2023 · 10 May 2007 at 13:33

I’m sat here in pretty much complete shock. Some people may have read a few of my previous thread on the subject of me trying to find my brothers and sister who I haven’t seen for the best part of 16 years.

I recently sent a few letters to the foreign office and the German embassy to try and get birth certificates from them, both of which were pretty much fruitless.

Well, I’ve come in this afternoon for lunch and one of my housemates gave me a letter. Apparently, she’s been doing a lot of work behind the scenes trying to find my sister for me and she succeeded. I now have a letter from my sister sat in my lap with all of her contact details. Quite frankly I’m gobsmacked.

I’ve been wondering what she’d be doing and stuff and I find it amazing that she works for a big IT company. Maybe there’s an IT gene?

So, I have no idea how to start this email and I expect to be staring at this monitor for a few hours yet.

Burnsy

Manlove is my forte · 10 May 2007 at 13:35

burnsy2023 said:
I’m sat here in pretty much complete shock. Some people may have read a few of my previous thread on the subject of me trying to find my brothers and sister who I haven’t seen for the best part of 16 years.

I recently sent a few letters to the foreign office and the German embassy to try and get birth certificates from them, both of which were pretty much fruitless.

Well, I’ve come in this afternoon for lunch and one of my housemates gave me a letter. Apparently, she’s been doing a lot of work behind the scenes trying to find my sister for me and she succeeded. I now have a letter from my sister sat in my lap with all of her contact details. Quite frankly I’m gobsmacked.

I’ve been wondering what she’d be doing and stuff and I find it amazing that she works for a big IT company. Maybe there’s an IT gene?

So, I have no idea how to start this email and I expect to be staring at this monitor for a few hours yet.

Burnsy

Tell her about yourself and everything you have been up to for the past few years. (you wrote something like this a few months back to us.)

jas72 · 10 May 2007 at 13:35

congrats mate

I can't imagine how you are feeling must be excitment and nervousness.

WoW! is all I can say.

Slinwagh · 10 May 2007 at 13:38

I haven't seen my father for 25 years, I do know he has two children, a boy and a girl I have never seen.

I have thought about trying to contact them but as I'm pretty sure they don't know about me I'm not sure if it is the best thing to do.

Burnsy2023 · 10 May 2007 at 13:39

Slinwagh said:
I haven't seen my father for 25 years, I do know he has two children, a boy and a girl I have never seen.

I have thought about trying to contact them but as I'm pretty sure they don't know about me I'm not sure if it is the best thing to do.

At the end of the day, do you want your father in your life? If so, contact him. You've lost nothing if it doesn't work out.

Burnsy

Burnsy2023 · 10 May 2007 at 13:40

jas72 said:
congrats mate

I can't imagine how you are feeling must be excitment and nervousness.

WoW! is all I can say.

Very nervous, I've decided I'm not going to phone as I simply won't know what to say. It's going to be an emotional few weeks.

Burnsy

Slinwagh · 10 May 2007 at 13:43

burnsy2023 said:
At the end of the day, do you want your father in your life? If so, contact him. You've lost nothing if it doesn't work out.

Burnsy

He is a tool to be honest, my very few memories of him limited, they consist of him breaking my mum's nose and being convicted of it, having his mum shut the door in my face when I was about 7 because he was also visiting her and he didn't want his children to see me.

Also not one birthday card or phone call and he never paid maintenance as it was back then. He also has a 3 year old granddaughter has has never asked about.

None of that though is the fault of my half brother/sister.

Slinwagh · 10 May 2007 at 13:45

burnsy2023 said:
Very nervous, I've decided I'm not going to phone as I simply won't know what to say. It's going to be an emotional few weeks.

Burnsy

Without wishing to offend can i ask what the circumstances are behind this?

I would go for the letter approach, imagine an email gets binned as spam!

Burnsy2023 · 10 May 2007 at 13:45

Slinwagh said:
He is a tool to be honest, my very few memories of him limited, they consist of him breaking my mum's nose and being convicted of it, having his mum shut the door in my face when I was about 7 because he was also visiting her and he didn't want his children to see me.

Also not one birthday card or phone call and he never paid maintenance as it was back then. He also has a 3 year old granddaughter has has never asked about.

None of that though is the fault of my half brother/sister.

In which case I wouldn't bother. I havn't seen my dad since birth and I have no intention to ever find him.

Burnsy

Burnsy2023 · 10 May 2007 at 13:46

Slinwagh said:
Without wishing to offend can i ask what the circumstances are behind this?

I would go for the letter approach, imagine an email gets binned as spam!

Circumstances of me not being in contact with my family?

And She's given me two email addresses so I assume she wants me to use them...

Burnsy

loopylou · 10 May 2007 at 13:47

burnsy2023 said:
I’m sat here in pretty much complete shock. Some people may have read a few of my previous thread on the subject of me trying to find my brothers and sister who I haven’t seen for the best part of 16 years.

I recently sent a few letters to the foreign office and the German embassy to try and get birth certificates from them, both of which were pretty much fruitless.

Well, I’ve come in this afternoon for lunch and one of my housemates gave me a letter. Apparently, she’s been doing a lot of work behind the scenes trying to find my sister for me and she succeeded. I now have a letter from my sister sat in my lap with all of her contact details. Quite frankly I’m gobsmacked.

I’ve been wondering what she’d be doing and stuff and I find it amazing that she works for a big IT company. Maybe there’s an IT gene?

So, I have no idea how to start this email and I expect to be staring at this monitor for a few hours yet.

Burnsy

What a brilliant housemate to do that for you!

Slinwagh · 10 May 2007 at 13:48

burnsy2023 said:
In which case I wouldn't bother. I haven't seen my dad since birth and I have no intention to ever find him.

Burnsy

That has always been my way of thinking to be honest. However like you we both have siblings out there and it isn't their fault.

Are your siblings aware of you mate?

Slinwagh · 10 May 2007 at 13:48

burnsy2023 said:
Circumstances of me not being in contact with my family?

And She's given me two email addresses so I assume she wants me to use them...

Burnsy

Yes mate, not being in contact with you, sorry if I'm intruding by the way!

Burnsy2023 · 10 May 2007 at 13:51

Slinwagh said:
Are your siblings aware of you mate?

Yeah, they were before and they are now.

I can see what you mean by wanting to contact your half siblings, it's not an easy situation, but you're right it isn't their fault and they should at least have the chance of meeting you. Could you contact them independently of your father?

Burnsy

Burnsy2023 · 10 May 2007 at 13:52

Slinwagh said:
Yes mate, not being in contact with you, sorry if I'm intruding by the way!

It's a shame we don't have the search function, I've had a few threads about the circumstances in the past, I'm pretty open about it all, i find it helps somewhat.

Burnsy

Yas786 · 10 May 2007 at 13:55

loopylou said:
What a brilliant housemate to do that for you!

Indeed...what a nice thing to do for you

. Hope it all works out for you Burnsy

.

Would hate to lose contact with my 2 bros for a period of time...

Zip · 10 May 2007 at 13:55

IMO just give her a call and let things happen naturally

It would be the easyest way i would ahve thought, the scaryest but easyest.

At least you wont be sitting there wondering if she got your email or not

Slinwagh · 10 May 2007 at 13:55

burnsy2023 said:
Yeah, they were before and they are now.

I can see what you mean by wanting to contact your half siblings, it's not an easy situation, but you're right it isn't their fault and they should at least have the chance of meeting you. Could you contact them independently of your father?

Burnsy

Of the top of my head I don't know if I could independently, I don't even know there first or surnames. I'm not even sure if they took my fathers name, I don't know what their mothers name is either!

Also I don't know how my mum would take it either.

Burnsy2023 · 10 May 2007 at 13:56

Spawn said:
Indeed...what a nice thing to do for you. Hope it all works out for you Burnsy.

Would hate to lose contact with my 2 bros for a period of time...

Indeed, she's an absolute gem and I'll have to think of some way to repay her....God knows how...

Burnsy

Burnsy2023 · 10 May 2007 at 13:57

Slinwagh said:
Also I don't know how my mum would take it either.

I suggest you talk to her first, but remember it's your decision and you have a right to know them.

Burnsy

Edit: here's one of my threads from ages ago: http://forums.overclockers.co.uk/showthread.php?t=17677671