Man Points

walked into the ladies toilets, I had the biggest and smelliest dump I could produce, wash my hands and walkout of there without flushing the loo. Its the best way for a man to mark his territory.
Reminds me of when we had a lads weekend away in Newcastle.

We were staying in some dingy B&B type place where the rooms didn't have their own toilets. About 7am the morning after the first night I awoke with a rumbling gut, and swiftly headed to the loo.

I went back to my room and sat on the bed crying with laughter for the next 20 minutes as a procession of girls who were also staying in the B&B attempted to use the same toilet I had just violated.

The cries of "Eurghghh thats disgusting!" and "I think I'm going to be sick!" were truly hilarious.
 
I went in to my local Texaco and when paying for fuel asked the girl behind the counter for a KitKat Chunky. When she put a KitKat Chunky on the counter I raged at her!

"I said I wanted a KitKat......FAT ASS!"
 
I went in to my local Texaco and when paying for fuel asked the girl behind the counter for a KitKat Chunky. When she put a KitKat Chunky on the counter I raged at her!

"I said I wanted a KitKat......FAT ASS!"

Less funny than the horror dumps.

-2 points.
 
I made my own sandwich's for lunch :(.
-1 Man point.

But then I stacked them both together and ate it as one giant man-sandwich.
+1 man point.
 
I went in to my local Texaco and when paying for fuel asked the girl behind the counter for a KitKat Chunky. When she put a KitKat Chunky on the counter I raged at her!

"I said I wanted a KitKat......FAT ASS!"

You lose man points. A real man would have taken that Kitkat Chunky and eaten it in one go.
 
I made my own sandwich's for lunch :(.
-1 Man point.

But then I stacked them both together and ate it as one giant man-sandwich.
+1 man point.

Manwich
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I had a huge McDonalds lunch. Large Chicken legend with bacon and salsa, large coke, large fries, potato wedges, lion bar mcflurry and cherry pie.

Man-sized appetite? :D
 
Last week in bed with my ex fiancee i let out a massive ripper and then promptly stuck her head down the duvet whilst shouting out...bask in the ambience bask in the ambience baby:p:D
 
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