Manager Lingo

Elixir · 5 Oct 2011 at 09:16

This absolutely drives me up the wall at work...

Going forward
Touch base
Blue-sky thinking
Upskilling

and just generally using larger words during normal conversations to make themselves sound more important.

Anyone got any pet hates? Going forward is the one that annoys me at the moment because I'm starting to notice it in conversations outside work.

Scuzi · 5 Oct 2011 at 09:23

Bull**** bingo can be quite entertaining at times.

psd99 · 5 Oct 2011 at 09:24

out of the box!

[FnG]magnolia · 5 Oct 2011 at 09:26

Singing off the same hymn sheet.

Hello - welcome to 1980's management textbooks from failed American authors!

GravyMonster · 5 Oct 2011 at 09:27

I'm gonna need you to go ahead...

... mmmkay

Vonhelmet · 5 Oct 2011 at 09:27

Close of play.

We're not playing! This is serious business!

Elixir · 5 Oct 2011 at 09:27

Talking about "pushing back" on something when trying to get something done is another one.

twist3d0n3 · 5 Oct 2011 at 09:29

during my time working in IT at the local hospital; when they put in the new computer system, the management team referred to their place where they directed all the staff from as 'the war room'...

retards

checjb · 5 Oct 2011 at 09:30

One of my old bosses used to use the phrase "radicalize our thinking" instead of the already-annoying "think outside the box". It drove me nuts. He even used it in emails which is how I know he used the American spelling.

RDM · 5 Oct 2011 at 09:31

Elixir said:
This absolutely drives me up the wall at work...

Going forward
Touch base
Blue-sky thinking
Upskilling

and just generally using larger words during normal conversations to make themselves sound more important.

Anyone got any pet hates? Going forward is the one that annoys me at the moment because I'm starting to notice it in conversations outside work.

What words would you use instead to communicate the concepts?

GravyMonster · 5 Oct 2011 at 09:32

'Just need to squeeze this *little job in with the other 20 million things you're doing today'

*HUGE job, which was totally mismanaged and badly completed by someone else, which will take you 90% of your working day to un-****.

twist3d0n3 · 5 Oct 2011 at 09:32

RDM said:
What words would you use instead to communicate the concepts?

saying ideas?

Cosimo · 5 Oct 2011 at 09:33

"Don’t forget guys we’re adding value and at the end of the day it can only be win win. We'll touch base on Friday now let's go............."

Where have I heard those words before.

Edrof · 5 Oct 2011 at 09:33

"Firm-up", as in "Let's firm-up what time we're going to pop out to Starbucks".

Maccapacca · 5 Oct 2011 at 09:34

Using OCUK for my favourite

"This is the bus OCUK, we are all on it, if you want to get off ring the bell"

[FnG]magnolia · 5 Oct 2011 at 09:34

Elixir said:
Talking about "pushing back" on something when trying to get something done is another one.

Nope, I'm gonna go ahead and say this can be valid.

bitslice · 5 Oct 2011 at 09:35

The worst thing is that all this is either expected by other managers or used cynically by themselves, not one of them wants to stem the tide of BS.

Poo goes downhill, so all your collegues start speaking in the same fashion whenever they think a manager is looking at them.

Mr "Proactive", yes I'm looking at you you slimey suckup...

Cosimo · 5 Oct 2011 at 09:38

"Fred you take the lead and remember we’ll deliver by adding value. Now team let’s engage."

Devrij · 5 Oct 2011 at 09:39

Elixir said:
This absolutely drives me up the wall at work...

Going forward
Touch base
Blue-sky thinking
Upskilling

and just generally using larger words during normal conversations to make themselves sound more important.

Anyone got any pet hates? Going forward is the one that annoys me at the moment because I'm starting to notice it in conversations outside work.

Try using them, you'll be amazed how far it gets you.

Multi-skilling is the new thing at our workplace. Roughly translated it means: warehouse staff now have to sell to customers and do their old job too. For the same pay of course.

Right people in the right place at the right time: short contract hours so we can screw you out of holiday pay, move your hours all over the place, and shorten your shift by 15mins to deprive you of a lunch break.

Thankfully I'm management so these things happen to other people, but it does suck.

Scuzi · 5 Oct 2011 at 09:39

bitslice said:
The worst thing is that all this is either expected by other managers or used cynically by themselves, not one of them wants to stem the tide of BS.

Poo goes downhill, so all your collegues start speaking in the same fashion whenever they think a manager is looking at them.

Mr "Proactive", yes I'm looking at you you slimey suckup...

Yup. Once you reach a certain level in an organisation, you have to adopt the lingo if you want to permeate the ranks and make progress.

Manager Lingo

Tea Drinker