Looking for a pivot point to move towards but a background of consultant exercise physiologist and healthcare management doesn’t really lead to many avenues.
Or were you referring to fatherhood
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Middle aged life
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Or were you referring to fatherhood
Apparently its a syndrome, worrying so much about dying that you forget to live.
The troubling rise of longevity fixation syndrome: ‘I was crushed by the pressure I put on myself’
This unofficial diagnosis describes the anxiety-driven, compulsive obsession with living as long as possible. While it might seem healthy to monitor your diet, exercise and biomarkers, it can come at a huge emotional costwww.theguardian.com
So chaps and chapesses dont overdo the exercises and underdo the calories and the fun things to excess. You may die anyway from an unconnected issue to your health. Like a plane/train/car crash or a drive by which is out of your control entirely.
Have fun and relax.
Or as they used to say:
Or as they used to say:
No not really, im not going to encourage smoking. However extreme caution aiming to extend life at the expense of enjoyment is equally crippling IMO.
Goodness, this is so me.
I'm 45 (46 this year - I cannot cannot cannot believe it), and I'm more into gym, fitness, sleeping and health than ever. There's no conceivable version of me at any younger age that's fitter, stronger and healthier. I help coach my daughter's touch rugby team and one of the mum's quipped that she's never seen a 50yo move like I do
Cheeky sod
I'm consciously staying away from tracking more biomarkers because I know it will be an obsession, and I don't have time for any more of those.
And then there's the general listlessness of life. My current big obsession is clearing the mortgage (November the 12th this year), so I spend hours a week, trying to find clever little tricks and ways to bring the date forward. I've said to my wife that I will really miss it when it's gone. But I also feel it's holding me back in a way. Like I cannot move on to potential other things with that hanging around my neck. It's probably not the case at all, but that's how I see it.
Travel is like .... Meh. It's a pain traveling anywhere from NZ, but if we don't do that, what else are we doing?
We have this beautiful, comfortable, rich, stress-free life, constructed meticulously and on purpose. Some days I think it might be fun selling it all and starting over. We've optimized relentlessly and make no missteps. In past lives I brought drama and misfortune on myself constantly through youth and tons of ignorance, but I suppose it gave me something to wrestle with or wrestle out from under.
Any changes will have to be small and gradual. I've seen two spectacular destructions of lives from ex colleagues, due to the same thing. Guys that suddenly woke up one morning, found themselves on the wrong side of 45 and started panicking. There were sports cars, vineyards and younger women involved. I'm not going down that road.
I'm 45 (46 this year - I cannot cannot cannot believe it), and I'm more into gym, fitness, sleeping and health than ever. There's no conceivable version of me at any younger age that's fitter, stronger and healthier. I help coach my daughter's touch rugby team and one of the mum's quipped that she's never seen a 50yo move like I do
Cheeky sodI'm consciously staying away from tracking more biomarkers because I know it will be an obsession, and I don't have time for any more of those.
And then there's the general listlessness of life. My current big obsession is clearing the mortgage (November the 12th this year), so I spend hours a week, trying to find clever little tricks and ways to bring the date forward. I've said to my wife that I will really miss it when it's gone. But I also feel it's holding me back in a way. Like I cannot move on to potential other things with that hanging around my neck. It's probably not the case at all, but that's how I see it.
Travel is like .... Meh. It's a pain traveling anywhere from NZ, but if we don't do that, what else are we doing?
We have this beautiful, comfortable, rich, stress-free life, constructed meticulously and on purpose. Some days I think it might be fun selling it all and starting over. We've optimized relentlessly and make no missteps. In past lives I brought drama and misfortune on myself constantly through youth and tons of ignorance, but I suppose it gave me something to wrestle with or wrestle out from under.
Any changes will have to be small and gradual. I've seen two spectacular destructions of lives from ex colleagues, due to the same thing. Guys that suddenly woke up one morning, found themselves on the wrong side of 45 and started panicking. There were sports cars, vineyards and younger women involved. I'm not going down that road.
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Well yes, ultimately life is all a balancing act. Although you can't completely control your health, you do have to decide on a point somewhere between eating/smoking/drinking/partying yourself into an early grave, with a tedious regimen of abstinence, exercise and raw vegetables at the other extreme.
Unless you are one of the lucky few, most of us have to work to pay our bills and provide for our retirement. Money gives you choices and neglecting this can lead to a grim old life. But all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy and no one ever said on their deathbed that they wished they had spent more time in the office.
Soldato
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Epstein, is that you?
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Many factors, I think stressing too much can be just as damaging as not giving a damn what you do.
Quite. Look at the French, about 25% smoke to the UK's 10% and yet the same average life expectancy. Drink, diet and often underrated stress, it's all a balancing act.
Many factors, I think stressing too much can be just as damaging as not giving a damn what you do.
That's one thing that's changed for me. I find myself looking at older women now. I can't even say 20–24-year-olds look like kids to me; I simply don't look at them. They're just young people being young people
This is me. Minus the game studio. Very cool btw.
It's funny to think I can buy an Aston and a Range Rover and still have enough money to comfortably not work for 5-10 years, depending on how flash I want to live.
That's one thing that has slowly changed for me the last 5 years. I'm not willing to tolerate BS from employers any longer. Thanks to be financially strong. I've seen way too many people living above their means or making dumb (for me) financial moves and then have to put up with nonsense at work due to needing the consistent income.
I find in my 40s I'm looking at people with a lot more discernment as to whether I'd be interested in them and a bit more flexible older and younger within reason when it comes to age.
Between longer standing staff and Christmas temps who've been kept on we have a fair few girls in the 20-25 age range at the moment at work and been a few times it is quite apparent that it wasn't that long ago really they were teenagers playing with dolls kind of thing and I'm old enough to be their dad but a couple of them when I'm working with them or chatting on break, etc. it is easy to forget there is any age difference but then I see them interacting with other people and it is much more apparent how young they are.
One of them has been a great support over the last few months, when people who are older and I'd expect more responsibility from have let me down.
![[FnG]magnolia](/styles/overclockers/avatars/9.png){kind=avatar}
Caporegime
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e: nope, removed.
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Just thinking how less tolerant I am with people now, I just don't take people's **** anymore and.constantly at the point of walking out at work, also the young lads who work here , their life is just gaming, that's all they talk about hour after hour.and what a rubbish decade to grow up in with the state of this country ( Moon man holds back due to fear of the hurty words police knocking on his door)
Ps I think I am turning in to Moan Man
Ps I think I am turning in to Moan Man
So overall, have the replacements been worth the pain etc?
I ask because my wife has severe osteoarthritis and is now considering having knee replacements for both.
Man of Honour
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I had a full knee replacement in Feb 2022 and it's still not right however I'm not in a wheelchair any more.
I'm sort of liking the midlife (very late 40s) crisis for the most part. The true value of friendship has become more apparent though I'm quite lucky in as much as I have 4 mates who I've stayed close with since childhood.
I'm reasonably fit. Play lots of sport. Get to do lots of "childish" hobbies I used to to as a kid but no longer care about being judged. Never ever go to a gym (the true source of misery imo). Stay away from social media. Have no kids. Have an amazing girlfriend. Financially ok via a job I don't hate.
Life could be a lot worse I guess as I remember being miserable in my 20s and early 30s.
*** mod note: two disguised uses of the F word in this post. Think before you write please ***
I'm reasonably fit. Play lots of sport. Get to do lots of "childish" hobbies I used to to as a kid but no longer care about being judged. Never ever go to a gym (the true source of misery imo). Stay away from social media. Have no kids. Have an amazing girlfriend. Financially ok via a job I don't hate.
Life could be a lot worse I guess as I remember being miserable in my 20s and early 30s.
*** mod note: two disguised uses of the F word in this post. Think before you write please ***
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Soldato
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Getting old is crap, but it sure beats the alternative.
Sorry..
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It's a difficult question to completely answer (yet). Let's be clear, knee replacement surgery is pretty brutal, and even a 'good' recovery is hard and painful and takes months of physiotherapy and exercise. With the benefit of hindsight, my first knee replacement went about as good as it is possible to get - no bruising, no complications, good range of motion (125-130 degrees) and pretty much pain-free after around 6 months. The other knee that I had done in February this year has been much less smooth - lots of bruising, massive tendon inflammation and pain, several follow-up procedures (nerve block injections, a 'denervation' and a manipulation under anaesthesia to break up scar tissue). After all of that, and lots of hard PT/exercise, I have finally got to a good range of motion (120 degrees bending from 'cold' and 125-130 after some exercises) but the knee still feels more stiff and with minor tendon pain - particularly first thing in the morning.
Having said all of that, it is still better than the arthritis pain that I was getting before, and that was only going to get worse, whereas my knee should continue to improve over the next year or two. I have been forced to accept that it may never be as good as the other one, but I'm still glad I had them both done as I was not looking forward to a retirement hobbled by arthritis pain. I'm taking early retirement at the end of the year, and I am able to walk, swim and starting to cycle again - all pretty much pain free.
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I am so sorry for what you have gone through and I do appreciate you telling me what you have (and are) gone through;
thank you so much for answering my question.
On the road to 50 and what doesn't hurt doesn't work. Kidneys have quit completely, heart is with us in spirit, had cataracts done and really wish id left it alone as they botched it, but I still have my hair and its not gone grey (yet) lol