Money lending to family
- Thread starter Aruffell
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To the OP, his wife wouldn't be from N. Ireland by any chance? (Without generalising, that might explain things!)willd58 said:
I think £100 is a small price to pay to learn an important lesson. Your brother's using emotional blackmail on your family and you're best off without him.
to the original poster... i would be more worried about the time bomb of your brother and sister in law, leaving your parents in debt. they need to speak to someone as regards the credit card issue. if it turns really nasty they will walk away from the debt and your parents are in the proverbial. there is nothing stopping them from running a huge debt up and walking away scott free. you need to asses the debt, and determine whether it is low enough to stop the cards . this would certainly get the attention of the irish contingent. 
Soldato
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willd58 said:
Quoted for the truth.
I'v recently lent my brother £1k and I trust him as much my parents. It all depends on the bonding.
Desmo said:Disagree. What you shold be saying is never lend it to the wrong family or friends.
I know that I could lend money to my family members and I'd get it back. I also know I could lend it to a lot of my friends and get it back without having to ask for it. I know that I've got friends who I'd not lend to as I'd have to fight to get it back.
Nothing wrong with lending, as long as it's to the right people
Again, Quoted for the truth.
I'd give everything I could to one family member and maybe next to nothing for others.
As said, it's not the money.
£100 is nothing to me, but it's the principle of it all.
I still debating whether to pay the debt all off for them as it's in my parents name and i want to get them out of trouble as i can wait longer than a credit card can.
Tough decision though.
I'm just annoyed at the way that my parents get treated.
This morning they phoned up and apologised to my parents for the way they acted.
I haven't heard a word of apology to me so they can sod off lol.
My parents might have to move out of their house into something smaller (that's how bad it's getting).
They wanted the money to buy ANOTHER car i should have said.
My brother has a car which he keeps buying mods for
They wanted another car for his wife so she can pick the kids up from school as they are moving into a smaller house and don't want to move the kids to another school.
I don't understand why, they are 5 years old and 8 years old. They make new friends.
/Rant over lol
I'm only 18, but i think i'm the only sane person in this family
Andy
£100 is nothing to me, but it's the principle of it all.
I still debating whether to pay the debt all off for them as it's in my parents name and i want to get them out of trouble as i can wait longer than a credit card can.
Tough decision though.
I'm just annoyed at the way that my parents get treated.
This morning they phoned up and apologised to my parents for the way they acted.
I haven't heard a word of apology to me so they can sod off lol.
My parents might have to move out of their house into something smaller (that's how bad it's getting).
They wanted the money to buy ANOTHER car i should have said.
My brother has a car which he keeps buying mods for
They wanted another car for his wife so she can pick the kids up from school as they are moving into a smaller house and don't want to move the kids to another school.
I don't understand why, they are 5 years old and 8 years old. They make new friends.
/Rant over lol
I'm only 18, but i think i'm the only sane person in this family
Andy
Sounds like a bad situation and you have my sympathy.
One question, has your father cancelled the credit cards and reported them as stolen? Or is more and more dept being pilled onto them in the mean time?
I'd cut them off and see what happens, using the threat of access to grandchildren is low..
People say you can choose your friends but not you family. Thats true but you don't have to speak to your family or have anything to do with them. If their such ******* then your better off without them.
Just a thought...
D.
One question, has your father cancelled the credit cards and reported them as stolen? Or is more and more dept being pilled onto them in the mean time?
I'd cut them off and see what happens, using the threat of access to grandchildren is low..
People say you can choose your friends but not you family. Thats true but you don't have to speak to your family or have anything to do with them. If their such ******* then your better off without them.
Just a thought...
D.
Soldato
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gc123 said:to the original poster... i would be more worried about the time bomb of your brother and sister in law, leaving your parents in debt. they need to speak to someone as regards the credit card issue. if it turns really nasty they will walk away from the debt and your parents are in the proverbial. there is nothing stopping them from running a huge debt up and walking away scott free. you need to asses the debt, and determine whether it is low enough to stop the cards . this would certainly get the attention of the irish contingent.
This would be my main concern at the moment. Those cards need to be cancelled and quickly. Otherwise your parents run the risk of losing everything
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I have lerntnot to lend my family money.
Brother 1 has a drinking and gambling problem.
Brother 2 has no job and cant be bothered to get one
Both have debts and people ringing for them everyay asking for money.
My mum pays the debts and forgets about her bills somuggings here has ended up paying the morgage
as I dont have any debts and owe no-one money.
My brothers owe me about £300 each
Brother 1 has a drinking and gambling problem.
Brother 2 has no job and cant be bothered to get one
Both have debts and people ringing for them everyay asking for money.
My mum pays the debts and forgets about her bills somuggings here has ended up paying the morgage
as I dont have any debts and owe no-one money.My brothers owe me about £300 each
I'd be tempted to send this link to the offending party by e-mail, with all the sound judgements of the OcUK posters to let them really know how they're acting.
My advice, like some others, is to forget the £100 but ensure your parents are not dragged further in to liability for debt not of their making. It could place massive pressure on them.
Your brother appears to be acting selfishly, spurred no doubt by his wife. Something needs to be done to let him know his behaviour is not acceptable, imo.
My advice, like some others, is to forget the £100 but ensure your parents are not dragged further in to liability for debt not of their making. It could place massive pressure on them.
Your brother appears to be acting selfishly, spurred no doubt by his wife. Something needs to be done to let him know his behaviour is not acceptable, imo.
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Aruffell said:
I wouldn't be as petty. I would get your parents to cancel the credit cards, and then transfer the balance of the credit cards to my own cards and then pay them off.
This would have course end you up in debt but your parents would be fine. Your brother, unfortunately, sounds like a ***** and I don't think that your actions alone can change that. Remember that any actions you take against him might just wind up in your nieces becoming alienated - especially if you brother wishes to spite you for any of your actions.
Soldato
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With regards to what Desmo said, I would say it is possible but its still not best to lend money to family and friends simply because there is nothing that can ruin a relationship than a money dispute, especially amongst working class people and older people.
I have never leant or borrowed money off the family, despite having been offered. I have however, given money to my friends. I don't have a reason for this, but I don't need a reason to show kindness to my friends (although only the ones that I trust).
I would rather give the money than have the person owe me - if they need the money then they need the money.
I have never leant or borrowed money off the family, despite having been offered. I have however, given money to my friends. I don't have a reason for this, but I don't need a reason to show kindness to my friends (although only the ones that I trust).
I would rather give the money than have the person owe me - if they need the money then they need the money.
Aruffell said:You don't know the half of it Nix lol
I know so much dirt on the girl, but i'm too nice to say anything
..and you didnt want to tell your brother before he did the deed?
ive never lent money to my siblings but i have given it. we're a close bunch and thankfully have some sense as to know money doesnt grow on trees so therefore its appreciated. ive never given and expected them to pay me back... i know they'd do the same if i asked too.
you should only give/lend people money if you can afford it. perhaps next time you suggest your brother asking his parents-in-law rather than his own or you. (how old are they btw?) if they work suggest they ask their bosses for more pay (so they can keep up with the Jones/afford their lavish lifestyle more comfortably). Alternatively, bash their heads together... hopefully that'll knock some sense into them?
I gave £200 to my brother when he needed it - free of charge and never got it back. However, I did get upset when I realised he was going out 2 - 3 nights a week. I said to my parents at that point that I didn't give him the money so he could socialise and pay off his debts at leisure. They had a stern talk with him and he got it all paid off in a matter of months.
Unfortunately I can't really offer you any advice on your personal situation. I can understand your greif on behalf of your parents and it really isn't fair on them.
I'd certainly consider following some of the earlier advice if I were you.
Good luck buddy,
-RaZ
Unfortunately I can't really offer you any advice on your personal situation. I can understand your greif on behalf of your parents and it really isn't fair on them.
I'd certainly consider following some of the earlier advice if I were you.
Good luck buddy,
-RaZ
As said, £100 is nothing.
The principle of it is another thing.
I was promised, and was told "a promise is a promise".
This has made me angry how they say these things and don't do anything about it.
The loan is in my dad's name and he got the credit cards out to pay the loan off.
My brother is paying the minimum payment on the credit cards.
Andy
The principle of it is another thing.
I was promised, and was told "a promise is a promise".
This has made me angry how they say these things and don't do anything about it.
The loan is in my dad's name and he got the credit cards out to pay the loan off.
My brother is paying the minimum payment on the credit cards.
Andy
