Monogomy?

nero120 · 5 May 2006 at 13:41

Hey guys, I was just wondering something the other day. Say you were in a relationship with someone whom you loved a lot and had a great time with, but were not married to them. You wanted to get married to them at some point in future, but not yet. Now, then you met this other person who you found very attractive and they were giving you the signals. You release that you have never wanted nor needed to pursue, how should I put it, extra-relationship-sex, but you wouldnt mind a piece of them! However, you also have that nagging feeling that you want to respect your partner because you love them a lot and dont want to hurt them, but that sexual drive in you just keeps saying "hit it, HIT IT!!!!". So now, you have a choice to make. Do you:

a.) Tell your conscience to go do one and then ride that snake to VALHALLA!!
b.) Control yourself out of repsect for your partner, and then go masturbate LOTS (assuming partner isnt around).
c.) Realise that you are only human, but that you dont want to hurt your partner. So have a little sexual fun with that other person and then leave it in the past, never to do it with anyone else again.

Its an interesting question to me. Im in a relationship but I have urges just like every other guy has. I would like to think I am strong enough to control myself given any girl or situation, but there is always that niggling though "what if just go for it!".

What do others think, have you thought about it, or even done it?

nero120 · 5 May 2006 at 14:20

I love the accusations! Listen, just because I am honest with myself and try to think about the urges I feel or the thoughts I think in no way means I am 'looking for an excuse to leave her'. I think every man has sexual urges and is a lier if he say otherwise, so don't be so god-damned pious! This is a discussion, if I wanted to do it I would have done it already. I simply wanted to see how other people deal with these sexual urges, how many hold them back and how many give into them. Maybe it is you who is having second-thoughts, oh righteous one?

nero120 · 5 May 2006 at 14:21

OH BY THE WAY, FEMALES MAY NOT RESPOND TO THIS THREAD AS THEY HAVE NO IDEA HOW THE MALE MIND OPERATES, AND IF THEY DID TRULY KNOW IT WOULD BREAK THEM!

nero120 · 5 May 2006 at 14:22

Nix said:
Ignore these ladies, they obviously don't own a penis

*Dons flame hat*

Right you are, brother!

nero120 · 5 May 2006 at 14:28

McDaniel said:
When i was with my girlfriend i may have thought yea shes fit, but thats as far as it went, i never rally thought anymore of it.

The best way to deal with it, is just to ignore it and give the missus a good one

Of course, the urges are only the sexual tension talking, they have no distinction over who is your gf and who is not. All they see is boobs and legs and butts and think "GO"! But the mind cuts in and says woah there partner, who are commited. So then you either choose to go with the urges or the mind. Either way, once you have dropped off the package, your mind regains control and Id imagine if you went with the urges youd feel pretty crap! If you either went with your girl or beat the meat you would feel better that you didnt cheat!

nero120 · 5 May 2006 at 14:40

WantoN said:
Sex with the person you love will always be far better than the some fling. If ysaid thoughts were either intense, or occurring regularly, I'd say you're with the wrong person.

There is no greater emotional betrayal that cheating on someone you profess to love. It's absolutely disgusting.

As to my stance on dealing with it. Well, at the end of the day, we're all going to spot a fitty a decide whether or not we want a peice, but for me, that fleeting thought is as far as it goes. no one turns me on like my missus, and no one is more special to me. I wouldn't jeapordise her feelings nor the trust we share just to pump gas at a different station.

Ant

For the record, I agree. So don't get so defensive everyone, don't worry, I won't tell.

nero120 · 5 May 2006 at 14:42

Rich_L said:
That would be your own fault for not wearing mirrored sunglasses to hide your gaze.

Elementary summer tactics!

I know what you mean though nero120, since when did being with someone kill your 'fancy a piece of that' drive?! Nothing wrong with thinking 'phwoar' if you're going out with someone, it's the same twisted logic that makes girls think it's ok to be angry if you read FHM while you're going out with them.

Heh heh, yeah! The old classic is when they discover a tiny bit of normal pr0n on your computer and they are heart broken! God, what a drama! Thats what I mean about girls not having a clue how the male mind operates. Its simple biology!

nero120 · 5 May 2006 at 14:51

Piggymon said:
Dip me in chocolate and throw me to the lesbians then

I'm with Libs on this one .. it's not that I look at other men and think oooh but I shouldn't , I don't even NOTICE other men - It's almost like having the love blinkers on .. it's awesome

Trust me, Ive heard that so many times! Rest assured that your guy certainly looks at other women. I hope that doesnt bother you...

nero120 · 5 May 2006 at 14:57

Otacon said:
Oh, btw:

@ OP.

25 sir.

nero120 · 5 May 2006 at 14:58

shifty_uk said:
Are some girls actually like that? If there in love with someone they can completed switch off and not get attracted to any other guys?

One born, and destroyed every minute!

nero120 · 5 May 2006 at 14:59

Nix said:
Oooh, he's in for it now

I can see the thread now: "Not getting any because of you!"

Heh heh! Ah women! Cant live with em, cant kill em!

nero120 · 5 May 2006 at 15:00

Piggymon said:
I'll let him answer that one himself .....

I know I know, the idea is soooo ridiculous isnt it?

nero120 · 5 May 2006 at 15:01

Piggymon said:
Yep, I think most girls are... it's just you men letting the little head rule the big head

I'm not saying that I can't see a man and think he is handsome but there is a big difference between that and actually being attracted to someone

If men let the little head rule the big head then we would cheat all the time. We dont, but we cannot deny the urges that we have. We keep them in check, or not, depending on what we want. But we ALWAYS have the urges, dont doubt that for a second!

nero120 · 5 May 2006 at 15:02

Piggymon said:
Grow up will you ?

Just because you think with your **** it doesn't mean every other man does

I apologise, I don't mean to hurt your feelings. But I did warn that girls shouldnt reply to this thread didnt i? It could only lead to heart ache.

nero120 · 5 May 2006 at 15:11

xander_uk2 said:
I'd be lying if i said i never looked (what man doesn't) and I'm engaged to be married in August!!
We've been together 5 years, and i cant imagine being with anyone else.
I'm also 25 by the way.

Women may see it as being a typical male, which i guess is true. However having thoughts like your describing, and acting on them are two completely different things.

Just to add a little more spice to this thread, would you consider having a one night stand before the big night to say goodbye to freedom and hello to slavery?

nero120 · 5 May 2006 at 15:14

Piggymon said:
I don't say that I am speaking for ALL women on this earth so I fail to understand how you can think you are speaking for ALL men ?

I'm not saying that it's not how YOU think or indeed or some other men may think but you can't possibly account for the thoughts of someone you don't even know

I am not speaking for all men at all, merely suggesting that if all men put their dicks before their minds then they would all cheat. Since they all dont dont, it might make sense that they dont all put their dicks before their minds. I realise it is a difficult thing for a woman to understand, just as Im sure women are mysteries to us guys. Though, I have met a lot of women who think like you do (from what it appears in your posts) and as such are hurt very easily when confronted with the truth (and thats not even when their guys has done something wrong!).

Edit: Im quite lucky as I am quite open about this stuff with my gf, but it was very difficult at first as she felt cheated that I looked at other women.

nero120 · 5 May 2006 at 15:20

shifty_uk said:
When I was in my last relationship, out of the 2 years I never had any dreams about any other girl what so ever, as soon as the relationship finished, about 2 days later I had a dream about a girl I like lol.

[EDIT]
It wasnt a dirty dream!!!...it was a nice dream

Thats a cream dream!

nero120 · 5 May 2006 at 15:22

Piggymon said:
:shrugs: nothing wrong with porn .. doesn't bother me in the slightest

There's nothing wrong with being able to appreciate that a woman is pretty but IMO thinking about sleeping with other women is over the line

Good thing you girls havent learned to read minds then!

nero120 · 5 May 2006 at 15:24

Rich_L said:
I guess the thing is though that even if a guy does have a thought like that pop into their head their hardly going to make it public knowledge.

"Hi, hun how was your day"
"Good thanks, lovely day out, saw this very attractive girl and thought for a millisecond what she'd look like naked"

*explodes*

Nah youve just never truly been in a trusting relationship!

nero120 · 5 May 2006 at 15:30

Nix said:
It's not a concious thing. Men will do it regardless because its what the hormones tell us to do, just like babies make women broody etc.

Men have and will think about women until the end of time. Thinking and doing are two different things.

I wouldn't stop looking at other girls because I was in a relationship, but actually acting on the impulses is totally different ball game.

An honest man. Bravo!