Monogomy?

nero120

nero120

nero120

Soldato
Joined
12 Jan 2004
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Hey guys, I was just wondering something the other day. Say you were in a relationship with someone whom you loved a lot and had a great time with, but were not married to them. You wanted to get married to them at some point in future, but not yet. Now, then you met this other person who you found very attractive and they were giving you the signals. You release that you have never wanted nor needed to pursue, how should I put it, extra-relationship-sex, but you wouldnt mind a piece of them! However, you also have that nagging feeling that you want to respect your partner because you love them a lot and dont want to hurt them, but that sexual drive in you just keeps saying "hit it, HIT IT!!!!". So now, you have a choice to make. Do you:

a.) Tell your conscience to go do one and then ride that snake to VALHALLA!!
b.) Control yourself out of repsect for your partner, and then go masturbate LOTS (assuming partner isnt around).
c.) Realise that you are only human, but that you dont want to hurt your partner. So have a little sexual fun with that other person and then leave it in the past, never to do it with anyone else again.

Its an interesting question to me. Im in a relationship but I have urges just like every other guy has. I would like to think I am strong enough to control myself given any girl or situation, but there is always that niggling though "what if just go for it!".

What do others think, have you thought about it, or even done it?
 
I'd go with option d. Have a night of crazy sex with my partner to remind myself I don't need anyone else. Failing that it would be option b.
 
c. wont work - one its wrong, and 2 you will continue to do c once you;ve done it once.

Just realise that your just being human and its not worth any risks,

then id go with Psyk's advice
 
We're certainly not built for monogamy (Why there are no externally visible physical signs during the reproductive cycle).

But to answer your question B most defiantly.

For one reason I would not like to be cheated on so I would not do it to her, it would actually be suicide anyway.
 
personally - don't do 'cheating' - did do 'dumping bf of almost 2 years to be with the new guy'

imo love = monogamy

c.) isn't an option i could ever consider even if my relationship was 'failing' (which yours doesn't sound to be), the guilt, the fear that the other party would find out, or that something would go wrong - not worth the risk
what does this new one have - that your loving partner doesn't? is that difference worth the possibility of messing up a relationship for?

i agree with psyk - have crazy 'i love you' sex and forget your wander lust
 
The mere fact that you are asking the question means that, in your heart of hearts, you know it would be wrong and hurtful. How would you feel if the tables were turned and it was you being cheated on?
 
Don't end up cheating mate, it will all end in tears.

As said, how would you feel if it was your partner that was cheating on you? I'm sure you wouldnt feel so great.

Perhaps your not really in love, if your wanting other woman?
 
I think for the fact you have to ask others about it means your not truly dedicated to your partner? I am in a long term relationship and dont ever feel the need/urge for other men at all. Im 100% satisfied with my relationship in everyway and get all the satisfaction required whether it be physical satisfaction or mental.

I was previously in a relationship where I started to think like you and did the same in convincing myself i was only human and deemed myself alright so long as i never actually acted on my feelings. Now i have moved on and have been with my partner for 3 years I know there was something wrong with my precious relationship. Hopw i feel now is totally different. Maybe if your having such strong urges you need to truly ask yourself if your current partner is really right for you? :confused: I think to truly be in love you have to be 100% happy with every aspect of the relationship, including the physical side, thats my personal opinion? The sexual side of things isnt the be all and end all, although i think its important both people are happy and not wanting others. Id be hurt if my other half was thinking like you, maybe you need to consider how your gf would feel if she read this post?
 
Also: you might not know it yourself but it sounds like you're looking for an excuse to leave her.

Dont cheat, you'll regret it, and she'll start regretting she was ever with you.
 
Wow this turned from a hypothetical question into him cheating on his girlfriend very quickly indeed.

You player you :p
 
I love the accusations! Listen, just because I am honest with myself and try to think about the urges I feel or the thoughts I think in no way means I am 'looking for an excuse to leave her'. I think every man has sexual urges and is a lier if he say otherwise, so don't be so god-damned pious! This is a discussion, if I wanted to do it I would have done it already. I simply wanted to see how other people deal with these sexual urges, how many hold them back and how many give into them. Maybe it is you who is having second-thoughts, oh righteous one?
 
nero120 said:
I love the accusations! Listen, just because I am honest with myself and try to think about the urges I feel or the thoughts I think in no way means I am 'looking for an excuse to leave her'. I think every man has sexual urges and is a lier if he say otherwise, so don't be so god-damned pious! This is a discussion, if I wanted to do it I would have done it already. I simply wanted to see how other people deal with these sexual urges, how many hold them back and how many give into them. Maybe it is you who is having second-thoughts, oh righteous one?
Click to expand...

Ignore these ladies, they obviously don't own a penis :p

*Dons flame hat*
 
OH BY THE WAY, FEMALES MAY NOT RESPOND TO THIS THREAD AS THEY HAVE NO IDEA HOW THE MALE MIND OPERATES, AND IF THEY DID TRULY KNOW IT WOULD BREAK THEM! :p
 
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