Monogomy?

nero120 · 6 May 2006 at 01:13

zain said:
Show your girl this thread and ask her what she thinks matey

You talking to me? She'd probably **** her pants laughing at all the female posts with their heads in the clouds!

nero120 · 6 May 2006 at 01:16

Libs said:
Ill tell you what why dont we wait to have Desmos and Gordy R's opinion. That way they can say from a mans mouth that they dont agree and do not have your train of thought? That way you can hear it from a fellow member of the male species

If Desmo or Gordy R or any other man for that matter disagree that are truly in love with their other halves ill eat my words!

Havent u figured it out yet? Why do you think they havent responded yet? Because of the instinct of self preservation thats why! Clearly you could not handle the truth so I dont think you would see them within 50 leagues of this thread!

nero120 · 6 May 2006 at 01:19

Pebbles said:
I reckon pretty much all men can/do/would look at a gorgeous girl walking towards them and think 'oh yeah, i would'. If she turned around and said she was a telepathic nympho get yer kit off, the loved up men would say 'nah, sorry' and the non-loved up ones would be nekkid in the blink of an eye.

I personally have no issues with men looking at other women/strip clubs etc, and Im under no illusions as to what goes through their mind when they do. It's how men react to it that would possibly worry me. If they're up front about it, can take a bit of teasing and banter etc then no probs. Being secretive or aggressively denying it would annoy me.

Applause for you madam! And much kudos for a truly insightful post!

nero120 · 6 May 2006 at 14:10

McDaniel said:
I dont think Its so much they know him better then you, more they think they know how his mind works in regards to random hotties. And im like Desmo id openly admit with my ex i saw girls and thought yea they are hot, but thats where the mark was any further thoughts never occured...they do now but im single again.

I think if your truly happy with your partner a good 99% of the time you dont need to think like that, there of course may always be the odd exception now and then.

Maybe it depends on how sexually charged you are? Ive been with my partner for over 6 years and would never cheat on her, but I do not see it as betraying her if I fantasise about other women. Im not sure if I believe half the men on this thread who say they do not think about other women sexually, I would bet my right nut that they do, or will at some point in the future.

I think when you've been with someone for long enough and gotten past that inital 'exitement' phase, you settle into a kind of 'rhythm' because you know each other so well. Your mind does wander naturally - maybe its a genetic thing, i dont know. Alls I can say is I have a fantastic relationship that I would never jepordise, but neither would I deny who and what I am. If I have thoughts I have thoughts, but it is what I do and the choices that I make that make me who I am. I think women cannot understand this seperation, as piggymon has demonstrated. She cannot see the difference between thought and action, and I think that illustrates the difference between the female and male mind. If I said I had thought about killing this annoying guy at work, would it be enough to condemn me, even though I can control my actions and not see that thought become true?

nero120 · 6 May 2006 at 14:19

McDaniel said:
i was with my ex for 4 years, but i think i got it when i wanted it so didnt rally think like that, cos i fancied her too much anyway. I guess if i wasnt getting any then it would be different. Im not saying its a bad thing to imagine it or whatnot, as long as you know not to act on it and understand that its means nothing in comparison to what you got

Regularity of sex has no bearing on it as far as Im concerned, maybe some guys are naturally programmed to be monogomous and others are not so. But you are right when you say you have to know what thoughts to act on - its all about what you want. i.e. do I want to sacrifice an amazing relationship with a person i respect and love, for a night with another woman? In the mind, its not a very difficult question to answer, but men have more drives than the mind!

nero120 · 6 May 2006 at 15:35

Piggymon said:
I wouldn't compare it to cheating but I'd be lying if I said it wouldn't bother me

I don't fantasise about other men so I don't see why he would fantasise about other women

Besides ... he's got me and my boobies .. he doesn't need anything else

HA! Yep, you certainly understand guys all right! Dont worry, you have absolutely nothing to worry about!...

nero120 · 6 May 2006 at 15:40

Piggymon said:
The OP said his missus doesn't mind him oggling other women and if that works for them that's fine, some women will not tolerate the slightest bit of porn ... i'd like to think I'm somewhere in the middle

Actually, no where in this thread did I say that. I certainly dont oogle other women because I consider it rude, especially in the presence of someone you are in a relationship with. What I did say is that I can fantasise about other women (in private) when it suits me and understand the difference between fantasising and cheating. Maybe i should throw in that I fantasise about my lovely girl too! Sometimes I also fantasise about my girl with another girl! But hell, I dont think Id really get much out of that in real life.

nero120 · 6 May 2006 at 15:44

Piggymon said:
When did I say I understood men ? I have never said that but I DO understand my other half so anytime you want to stop patronising me ....

I never said that you did say it. Though, yet again I feel obliged to remind you that I suggested women stay out of this thread as it mind shatter some illusions. If you decide to stay then fine, but please dont think what you read here gives you a right to judge any guy, or even your own guy for that matter if they do fantasise about other women. Judge people by their actions, not by how you interpret their thoughts.

nero120 · 6 May 2006 at 15:45

On a side note, Ive never seen so many smilies in one thread! Whats the deal? Do people have something to hide?

nero120 · 6 May 2006 at 15:50

Piggymon said:
I don't mind porn and quite like getting involved but from my POV it's different than oggling at a bird in the street because the porn is something on the TV and not some real life siren walking right in front of you

See Id disagree with you there. Fantasising about some porno or about some hot girl in the street is no different at all. One is not more wrong than the other, a fantasy is a fantasy - it is fiction. Does reading a book about a murderer mean you wanna murder people in real life? Of course not. It is simply a journey in exploring ones sexual and psychological makeup.

Now let me ask you another question: What if your boyfriend fantasised once about doing it with your best friend? I would assume that would be something you would find unforgivable, because you do not share the view that mind and reality are different. Is it so hard to appreciate that ones actions define them, not ones thoughts?

nero120 · 6 May 2006 at 15:53

Piggymon said:
That says to me you have told her and she knows that you ogle other women ?

Apologies if I have the wrong end of the stick

Ah I see now. I meant that she now understands (or much better than she did) how my mind works. Looking back at some posts I can forgive people for thinking Im some sick ******* who oogles all over other women while my girl is standing next to me! No, she knows that I can fantasise about women (though obviously I dont rub this fact in her face!) and it does not mean I want to cheat on her, nor does it mean she doesnt satisfy me. Im not as bad as I seem to be making out!

nero120 · 6 May 2006 at 15:55

Maybe I should also add that I have a great deal of honesty with my girl, and in the past that has lead to some hurt feelings - but I feel it would be better to make her understand rather than her going around with some idea that I am an angel and only ever think about her! There is also such a thing as being too honest - we need some thoughts to remain private to escape the real world for a little while. But the funny thing is I cant remember the last time we had a proper fight, it must be over 3 years ago! :eek:

nero120 · 6 May 2006 at 16:04

Piggymon said:
Who are you to tell me I can or cannot post in a thread ?

I'm am not judging anyone in this thread I was merely aruging the point that not ALL men think the way you do

Desmo posted himself his thoughts and yet you still feel you cannot accept these as fact so that's your problem

I never said you couldnt post, but I did warn that it may be better not to get involved, as this is a historically touchy subject. I liek discussing touchy subjects.

Fair enough, my apologies for getting the wrong end of the stick and thanks for explaining a little better

I'm sure you're not a bad person and I never said you were but people just think differently and have different relationships with different ways of thinking ... this is all I have been trying to get across mate

People of course do think differently, but there is also a commonality that all men share, and all women share. I am simply interested to know to what degree men share their monogomous sexual drive.

nero120 · 6 May 2006 at 16:21

Roberta said:
I talked to my boyfriend about this thread last night. We were laughing about how he tries to ogle women subtley but can never quite manage it! I trust him 100% and know that it will stop at him having a perv. He's very happy as it's summer so there's lots of half naked ladies to look at. I shall be using that to my advantage when he gets all hot and bothered! Hurrah!

Thats a good attitude to have, good for you!

nero120 · 8 May 2006 at 13:19

So let me get something straight. When the guys on here are doing their regular 'alone time' - they only ever think about their girl and no one (or thing) else?

nero120 · 8 May 2006 at 14:06

vonhelmet said:
You assume they aren't getting enough lovin' from their girl.

Lovin and masturbation are different though. One is about feelings and the other is simply about jerkin off! As I said before, maybe it just comes down to labido.

nero120 · 8 May 2006 at 15:18

vonhelmet said:
Hmm. That's an interesting post, as some would say that both sex and jerking have nothing to do with feelings... Interesting that you say the two are different.

Anyway. I'm not sure why a person would want to do both if they had the choice, but perhaps that's just me. Good sex > any masturbation.

Unfortunately I find that both are necessary and have very little to do with each other. Habitual maybe? Yes I know, Im a ******!

Fully star it dude.

Otacon

nero120 · 8 May 2006 at 21:14

benneh said:
I think about all kinds . Definately not the Mrs all of the time (the ex) and i don't think that many men do only think of the Mrs. What would be the point in that?. Masterbation is about fantasy, not fact.. Or at least most of the time.

From some of the sickeningly virtuous posts in this thread they probably think of their mother! :eek: