Mums Funeral - Never attended a funeral

[snappyfish]

ok, so the worst day of my life next week. Mum passed away just before Christmas. Can someone please help me in deciding what to wear, I am jeans and t-shirt kind of guy with smart shoes/chukka boots etc, never worn a suit.

My Mum was the same type of women, never overdressed and didn't like that type of clothing, or should I say, it didn't bother her how people dressed. She'd be saying as long as your comfortable that's all that matters.

I know it must sound stupid but is it still odd to wear anything else but a suit?

 

[bainbridge]

Sorry to hear about your loss.

Wear a black suit and tie with a white shirt, even if you just pick up a cheap suit from somewhere.

 

[Randomface74]

Sorry to hear about your loss.
Wear a black suit and tie with a white shirt, even if you just pick up a cheap suit from somewhere.

+1

 

[[FnG]magnolia]

You could hire a suit or even buy one second hand but you should wear one IMO. It might be a good idea to talk to whoever is organising the funeral as well, assuming that's not you of course.

Sorry for your loss, what an awful time for such an awful thing to happen.

 

[Ayahuasca]

Black suit and tie with a well written eulogy minimum.

 

[dowie]

I wouldn't wear a black suit tbh... if you're going to buy a suit then get a dark grey or blue one, you can at least then use it in future for weddings or interviews etc.. when are you going to wear a black suit again?

A black tie is all you need if wearing a suit.

Though tbh.. it is her funeral, you knew her best, you don't have to wear a suit at all, why conform for the sake of it, you're remembering her and if wearing a suit/dressing formally would be completely alien to her then it would perhaps be silly just for the sake of convention.

 

[Randomface74]

I wouldn't wear a black suit tbh... if you're going to buy a suit then get a dark grey or blue one, you can at least then use it in future for weddings or interviews etc..

yea this

 

[Housey]

Black suit, white shirt, black tie is standard fair for funerals. When you get to my age it sadly becomes used more often than you had ever thought possible.

 

[The_Abyss]

Who's organising the funeral and the wake? If they're respecting her wishes that people should come as they want then tell everyone who wants to attend exactly that. The funeral before last that I attended we all wore orange as the deceased was a mad keen KTM rider.

 

[dowie]

Black suit, white shirt, black tie is standard fair for funerals. When you get to my age it sadly becomes used more often than you had ever thought possible.

Yeah it isn't uncommon (probably one of the few occasions where a black suit is appropriate during the daytime unless you're employed as a waiter), though plenty of people wear dark suits of other colours. My point is more that the OP doesn't even own a suit (or at least he's stated he's never worn one), if he's going to buy one then might be worth getting one that he can use on other occasions.

I can see why someone who likes suits and perhaps has a lot of them might have a black one in their wardrobe for such occasions and this is perhaps more useful as you get older too, but I'm just commenting on the OPs particular circumstances.

 

[Skynet5]

Based on what you said... I would wear what you feel comfortable in.

Sorry for your loss.

 

[Skynet5]

Also. It doesnt matter what other people that are there think. It is her day, so she would like you to be comfortable.

 

[GW1970]

Sorry for your loss

As a few others have said wear what she would want you to be comfortable in.

 

[Captain]

So sorry to hear about your loss.

Suit and tie will be fine.

 

[Scania]

Sorry for your loss.

Personally, I’d be in a suit (back) at least, wild colourful T-Shirt underneath perhaps (if shirt & tie isn’t yours or was her bag)

Entirely up to you.

 

[Hades]

Sorry for your loss. I would be inclined to wear a dark suit (grey, navy or black). But if you don't have one then dark trousers and a shirt will be fine. I am sure she would not want you to spend a huge amount of money on a one off suit. Ultimately wear what you feel is what she would have wanted and ignore orlther peoples opinions.

 

[Meridian]

I'd say dark suit, but doesn't have to be black. As other have stated, dark grey can then serve an ageneral purpose suit later. The tie must be black though. I organised my mother's funeral a couple of years ago and went for dark grey suit and black tie. But I'll admit that I already had both.

 

[bowey]

I'd personally wear a dark suit white shirt black tie.

 

[Rroff]

I'd say dark suit, but doesn't have to be black. As other have stated, dark grey can then serve an ageneral purpose suit later. The tie must be black though. I organised my mother's funeral a couple of years ago and went for dark grey suit and black tie. But I'll admit that I already had both.

I've got a dark grey suit which I tend to wear to stuff like funerals and a black tie - I've not bothered with a black suit just for funerals but I would at a minimum go with black trousers, white shirt and black tie and suitable footwear i.e. something subdued even if not dress shoe - suit better - one of the few occasions you can't really go wrong with a suit.

EDIT: Not something I'd do regularly but I have done black jeans, black boots, white shirt and blazer to a funeral before as it was the wishes of the deceased that people didn't wear suits as they weren't that kind of person.

 

[iamdjdz]

Sorry for your loss. I'd wear a suit with black tie as it's fairly normal. Or black smart casual stuff (maybe even as casual as vans shoes) if you don't want to wear a suit.

Funeral attire is defined by societal tradition rather than family desires generally, but if it's your mum's funeral and she wouldn't have minded then wear whatever you like. I wore a suit to my mum's funeral as my family also all did.